So much time has passed and yet i still remain a rollercoster of emotiosn with the random and rampent up and downs that i feel. I still give thought to him as I know that I always will but now my mind also travels with the thoughts of others. I had a dream last night of a love lost that felt so right in the dream. i awoke to a cheeriy demanaor and hoped for it to conituned, but it fades, but not in the way where i become sad once again, but in a wya that my stomach slighlty aches. I had convesraion about him with a friend of his that he to abadnaided and it rbought me comfort. Still i must move forawrd in thought and behavior and cesae to lay in the puddle of doubt and sleath loathing that i once called home. I cant full enjoy artsit i used to but that is also a loss of the many causalties of falling in love witha person stiol on the run