Don't know how to put it into words right now

Time flies so fast
When I look back at the way I've gone through, there are so many things can be called "Miracle"

Even though, a dream, can't 100% come true, I got 99% of what I wanted

If what is so-called a Time Machine is real in this life, I would want to ride on it once in my life, to go back to the happiest times I had been through.

But somewhere in me tells me that, I'd better move forward rather than always look back.

We don't have time machine. (or maybe haven't had it yet)
I can't get back what'd gone or can't go straight to a happy future.
So I chose to live through pains and downs with a normal speed and gradually find out the meaning of love and happiness.

Many tears has fell down to count the days for gathering all these fragments of a broken dream.
And like absorbing into the puzzle game, I'm struggling everyday, trying to piece all these fragments together. Not to see the same dream I created when being a child, but to have a new one which is so much more brilliant~
......the thing you wanna see the most.

I guess so.

I'm not sure if it's wrong or right. But sometimes it does mean like that.

I remember the day before my birthday, I was hanging around all alone at Fukuoka.
I had a dream about me, at my house, having dinner with my family.
I guessed I miss my family so much. But I don't think I miss anybody else or some special place except my house.

When I get back, I know that I have to be busy with my school things, or something would irritated me for sure.
I guessed right. Haha
Now I'm in my table, learning like a crazy student but when you know you can't decide your grade even how hard you try, studying is such a torture.

I'm in a situation that is much terrible than I thought now.
That even looking at SOMEONE can make me breathless (oh, not in a romantic way, in case you would get misunderstand my words)
Many tears fall and many troubles were caused.
But I never regret for what I've done. I don't and never will

I don't dream lately.
I even don't have time to miss my beloved Japan.
But somehow, when I see people who depress me, who put so many pressure on me
I think of Japan, where people are so kind and I feel nostalgic but ease myself for a while.

A part of me still pulls me back to the past, when I can actually feel that I can be me, no one else but the person that can live with her own mind, do what she wanna do and don't need to lie to anyone.

I just hate the fact that, I'm, now ,forced to become the kind of person that I once hated the most.