Why couldn't I cry ?

I hate it when I couldn't protect you....
I hate it when I realize that I was so useless.....
And I hate it when I try to be wise but in the end I still can't understand myself.......

Why do people always like that?
No one can decide others' life. No one has the right to say someone can live or someone should die. So why when you were born, all people around said that you would die? And why did I also think the same? ?????

I'm so scare of myself. No, I'm just feel so horrible, so disgusting, that I have such a cruel thought.

There are so many things that I want to show you. When I hold you in my arms, I knew that I wouldn't have much time left. but I couldn't do anything. You was the one that taught me how much a life costs. I just want to thanks you for that.

I wish you happy after-life. I'm sorry that, I didn't share with you the pain you had suffered. But I did keep my promise right? I didn't let you be alone when the last moment came.

I'm still so sorry. That time, I couldn't cry.

But, by now, I can cry, cry for you.... Let's meet some day in the world where there's no pain.

Please be happy! Best wishes for you !!!