I always fine after graduating high school until my sophomore.
But recently I feel so stressed.
A lot of tasks and assignment.
I know it's my duty while being a student, university student.
But this feeling never gone.
As I recall my memories about my past....
I realize that I rarely go outside the house, not that I am antisocial since my Junior high school.
I rarely hangout to relax myself.
I always at home doing house cleaning.
Yeah I always worried that my mother will end up angry at me.
My sister has a job already.
My twin sister is a university activist, she is busier than me.
My brother is still a junior high school. He always play outside the house.
I also take a part in University Organization.
But in Media Information department and a language tutor.
Maybe I less busy than them.
My twin sister always go outside (hangout) or have a meeting with their friends on weekend.
My sister sometimes doing the overwork on weekend or hangout with her old friend.
I end up giving up to them, let they go hanging out, I am at home helping mother and father.
I always end up at home doing house cleaning again and again...
Washing the dishes, sweeping, washing the clothes, ironing the clothes, and etc.
I wash the hole family clothes.
I always have the thought that they are more busy than me, so I let them be.
The more I let them be, the more I get tired.
I do that alone.
Sometimes I asked for a help to my sister and twin sister.
"Can you help me to iron five pieces of clothes of mother and father? I am tired"
They dont answer me.
Then I gave the five pieces to my sister and twin sister.
They never iron it. They only iron their own clothes.
They always do that.
I end up doing that alone.
I end up being so sad.
I end up being angry.
But I dont know how to let them know.
I once got angry to them for not helping me.
They end up got angry at me too.
After that I always hold up my feelings.
But I cant hold it anymore.
I want they help me and realized it by themselves. But I dont want to tell it and I dont want to they help me. It makes me angry in my heart.
It really affect me.
Everytime I go outside the house, even if I only go to university for school, I am so happy.
But when I relized that it is to go home, I am so sad.
I dont to go home this early.
What happened to me?
That feeling is always come since September 2017.
Dont they realized that I want to go hanging out with my friends?
Dont they realized that I was too stressed?
What happened to me?
What should I do?