Neither Fish Nor Flesh...

Sweet-Sour...

Recently, I faced slight happy but sweet-sour things in my life.

I was very surprised to the things, but could feel slight happy. I wanna blog out about it concretely. Someone might be surprised, but I would be very grateful if you could understand my circumstance & past serious situation with following update…

Concretely…

Frankly speaking, I had an experience of divorce 4yrs ago, in another word, I have become to X-husband 4yrs ago.

I married when I was 24yrs old and marital life had been kept for 6 yrs. When we welcomed 4^th year, my X-wife got a serious sickness of mental trouble due to huge stress from working and friendships troubles. When I waked up and said good morning a certain day, her eyes was vanished energy & marrow by the serious sickness. Even if I asked something to her again and again, she didn’t respond me everything and tried to suicide by herself with wrist cutting and so on. So, I tried to do my best as possible in order to get recovery from the serious sickness at that time. I took long leaving from my company for 2~3 months, and I did to attend to her every time & day even if I kill my working & private time.

However, at the same time, I might be forgetting ‘Aloha’ of couple for her, but it was just only ‘Family’ for her. My behavior at that time was neither ‘Belly Wormer’ nor ‘My better Half’, but just ‘Family’. I couldn’t be aware this easy things at that time, and I contacted in the way of ‘Family’ when I nursed her for 1yr by getting recovery. When she got recovery from the serious sickness, she also said she couldn’t feel my love in the way of husband. I really shocked such as her thought, because I intended to try to show my attitude with my nursing for 1yr. So, our relationship was broken easily by the difference of our thoughts 5yrs ago.

According to see my memory from detached cool eyes now, I feel & think why we couldn’t have a constructive discussion without cool calm brains why our both couldn’t compromise to hear mutual suggestion & thought at that time.

We submitted a foolish divorce registration paper without enough talking soon. We were quite either applehead or chick at that time.

From that time, 4yrs already passed.

Quite fortunately, her situation of the sickness has perfectly been getting recovery now.

I have heard from her she has gotten a precious job and had a very nice colleagues. In addition, I heard from her recently that she has found out a partner for marring again. The partner wants to go out my X-wife with committed relationship! What a wonderful it is! That’s really happy information for me, but I also feel sweet-sour at the same time. I really need to congratulate at the bottom of my heart for her. But, I felt that I became a father who had a daughter and she left my neighborhood (ringside). Haha…

Anyway, I should do congratulation for her at the bottom of my heart. I hope she will get marriage with him without any barriers!

On more happy thing to announce on here, I have been having a plan to marry again with baby, and the plan make me be busy little bit now. Because we need to build wedding plan such as choosing dress, flowers, location, pictures on so on. I will not be able to hold gorgeous party for her due to remarriage for me. So, she also give me a lot of attention about that.

But, I’m very happy to face a chance to marry at this moment. I don’t have a child between X-wife and me, and I have never shown my child to my parents. My father will be 70yrs old, so I must give a present of my grandchild immediately. It’s just quite filial. Most important things is what I will keep my love for her and show my expression of my thought. I must not do same wrong for her. It’s my oath...