Yes, I'm still alive...more or less...
Just a little update~
1. I have a new job, I really love. And I HATE how people keep telling me, that I get used. Yes I know that my payment isn't that good but I don't care...I do something I like, I work outside and get some fresh air, do some sports...where is the problem? If I don't work and just concentrate on school it's wrong, if I do work it's also wrong?! I don't get it...
2. The next "friend" left me. I have known her since elementary school (about 15 years!) and now after ignoring my messages she suddelny came up with. "Yes I will be at home around new year but I guess it's better, if we don't meet up again....I think we have nothing in common, so let's stop from here on" Well, okay. Must have been hard to keep on playing the good friend instead of just telling me, that she doesn't want me in her life anymore! Thank you!
3. I should get a mental check up. My social anxiety gets worse, my mood changes from happy to angry in just one second, mostly without any reason. I even start yelling at beloved people for the smallest things. Sorry for that guys, I just can't stop it! And worst of all: I hate myself so much, it gets harder not to hurt myself or think about just closing my eyes while driving. The next four weeks until I get my new tattoo are going to be so hard!
4. I miss Japan so much! If my job goes well, I might be back in August...I hope so! I miss the cicada sound, th air, the smell, the traffic light sounds...just everything! I want to see Yokohama, I want to go back to Kyoto, Osaka and Kobe...and I want some concerts.
Actually I wanted to post some pictures, but somehow I just hate them all. Well...that's it.
Baibai <3