００－００ ？
０－０－０ ？？
－０００－－－－－－－－－－－－－－ ？？？
０－０－０ ？？
００－００ ？
Untiled
いつのもコトだが凹んでいる。今日はその底辺に来たせいで生きている気分になったので、久しぶりに何か書いてみようと思ったが、何も思いつかない。
音楽に関しては、最近West Indian GirlとGlass CandyとThe Walkmenのコンサートに行った。全部良いショーだったが別にそれほど興奮はしなかった。恐らく歳をとったせいと、結構色んなロックショーを見たせいと、村上春樹の読みすぎのせいだと思う。バンドのせいではなくて俺自身の問題だ。
こうやって書いていると、自分が村上春樹の小説の孤独な主人公みたいな気分になり、恥ずかしくなる。
それはさておき、The WalkmenのコンサートはCosta Mesaで行われた。連れて行ってくれた友達がナチスの建築家が昔作った建築物に似ていると言っていたが、それは最先端のデザインが施された見た人全てを圧倒できるほど美しいコンサートホールでそのコンサートは行われた。その美しさよりもその建物の隣にあったRichard Serraの巨大な彫刻がありそれに感動した。というか感動せざるを得なかった。
高さは恐らく１５ｍぐらいで、２センチぐらいの分厚い鉄を５枚ぐらい組み合わせて作られていて、彫刻の内部には上部まで続く空洞があり、その中に入ると空洞内の全ての音が反射してボリュームが上がるのだ。その彫刻は見るだけでも美しいのだが、実際に中に入って声を出して見るとその効果に驚かされざるを得ない。俺たちは２･３分声を出したり、彫刻をたたいたりと馬鹿なことをしていたが、それは俺は見たどの彫刻から得られた体験よりも楽しい経験だった。Serraがインタラクティブな巨大な彫刻を作るのは知っていたが、実際に体験してみると得られる感動は相当なものだった。
彼の彫刻は彫刻の置かれる空間を一変させる力がある。彫刻が巨大なせいもあるだろうが、その力は彫刻が置かれた空間を、何も無ければ全く無意味な空間を、その場所にいるだけで楽しい空間にさせる力があるのだ。
先週の土曜日にも同じSerraの２作品を新しくオープンしたBCAM(Broad Contemporary Art Museum)で見たが、両者とも、あの何も無ければ５秒ほどで何も感じずに素通りしてしまうような巨大で空虚な空間を、一変させていた。両者とも鉄で出来た作品で、例外なく巨大だ。実際の高さは分からないが恐らく３ｍほどあるだろう。それはもはや鉄ではなく壁である。その錆びた鉄の壁は少し外側に傾いていて、一瞬見ただけでは分からないが穏やかなカーブを描いてリボンのような形を作っている。一つの作品は２枚の鉄の壁が並んでおり、その間を歩けるように設置されている。歩いて見ると、実際に訪れたことは無いので分からないが、富山にある立山の雪壁の間を歩くような体験である。自分が小人になった気分になり、そして歩く先には何があるのだろうという好奇心が生まれ、ワクワクしてしまった。正直このワクワク感が永久に続けばいいのにとさえ思った。恐らく１分ぐらい歩いた気がするが、最後まで歩ききると何も無いので正直がっかりしたが、到達感といったような満足感はあった。
２つ目の作品は一つの鉄の壁の作品で、恐らくこっちのほうが作品としては美しい、と思う。一つの壁で出来ているおかげですっきりしているからだろう。この作品もリボンのような形状を取っており、一つ目の作品と違うところは彫刻が作る丸い空間の中に入ることが出来るということだ。とにかく巨大な作品の周りを一周して中に入ると、１５畳ぐらいの空間なのだが、それよりも広々とした印象だった。鉄の壁が外側に傾いているせいだろう。それを見て改めて思ったが、人間の視覚プロセスというのは私たちが信じているほど正確に現実を捉えることは出来ない。目という器官を通して伝達される情報と実際に存在する現実とは往々にして意外と開きがあるものだ。私たちが感じるものはあくまでプロセスされた情報であり、それは実際ではない。現代美術においてそれは当たり前のことなのだがＳｅｒｒａの作品を通じてみるとそれは本当である。人間の感覚は意外と信用できないと、改めて思った。
実は最近仕事が変わり、画廊で働いているのだが感性の無い俺でも美術を通して色んな体験が出来るので毎日楽しい。特に現代美術はパンクロックのように既存の考え方やものの見方を変えてやろうという作品ばかりなので新しい発見の連続である。岡本太郎が現代美術は「なんだこれは？」と思わせる作品でなければならないと言っていたがそれは正しい。平凡な生活をしていると全てが惰性で動いてしまい退屈だが、「なんだこれは？」と思わせる作品と出会い、それを体験することで我々が生きる世界の見方が変わる。これは非常に楽しいし、新鮮だ。
今更日本が退屈だと言うつもりは無い（実際日本は楽しいところだと思う）が、同じ様な顔をして、毎日同じ時間に起きて、同じような飯を食い、同じ音楽を聴いている、言ってみれば波風の立たない環境で生活することに俺はとても苦痛に感じる。正直、毎日に飽きる。確かに時間は一秒ごとに進むし、物事が何も変わらないということは無いのだが、ある意味惰性で生きている人達の世界観は変わらない。もし、ガリレオが天動説のウソを暴かなければ私たちは今でも太陽が地球の周りを回っていると信じていただろう。
先ほども述べたが人間の感覚は信用できないし、考え方、世界観という話になればもっと信用できない。信用できないというよりは人々が信じる「真実」の信憑性は確かなものではなく、打ち破られる価値がある。だから俺はほとんどのニュースを信用しないし、はっきり言ってクソだと思う。問題はどれほどの人がそのように考えるかで、世間の概ね大半は巷にありふれる情報を、特に権威のある情報、を疑うことなく信じているだろう。それを思うと少し凹む。結局俺たちは人形のようにつるされた紐で踊らされているのだ。
こういう話を始めるとキリが無いのでこの辺でやめよう。10代のころにこんな答えも無いことを考え眠れなくなった夜みたいだ。
最後に、こうやってだらだらと文章を書くのも楽しいので毎日続けたいのだが、三日坊主なので次それがいつになるかと思うと楽しみである。
おわり
音楽に関しては、最近West Indian GirlとGlass CandyとThe Walkmenのコンサートに行った。全部良いショーだったが別にそれほど興奮はしなかった。恐らく歳をとったせいと、結構色んなロックショーを見たせいと、村上春樹の読みすぎのせいだと思う。バンドのせいではなくて俺自身の問題だ。
こうやって書いていると、自分が村上春樹の小説の孤独な主人公みたいな気分になり、恥ずかしくなる。
それはさておき、The WalkmenのコンサートはCosta Mesaで行われた。連れて行ってくれた友達がナチスの建築家が昔作った建築物に似ていると言っていたが、それは最先端のデザインが施された見た人全てを圧倒できるほど美しいコンサートホールでそのコンサートは行われた。その美しさよりもその建物の隣にあったRichard Serraの巨大な彫刻がありそれに感動した。というか感動せざるを得なかった。
高さは恐らく１５ｍぐらいで、２センチぐらいの分厚い鉄を５枚ぐらい組み合わせて作られていて、彫刻の内部には上部まで続く空洞があり、その中に入ると空洞内の全ての音が反射してボリュームが上がるのだ。その彫刻は見るだけでも美しいのだが、実際に中に入って声を出して見るとその効果に驚かされざるを得ない。俺たちは２･３分声を出したり、彫刻をたたいたりと馬鹿なことをしていたが、それは俺は見たどの彫刻から得られた体験よりも楽しい経験だった。Serraがインタラクティブな巨大な彫刻を作るのは知っていたが、実際に体験してみると得られる感動は相当なものだった。
彼の彫刻は彫刻の置かれる空間を一変させる力がある。彫刻が巨大なせいもあるだろうが、その力は彫刻が置かれた空間を、何も無ければ全く無意味な空間を、その場所にいるだけで楽しい空間にさせる力があるのだ。
先週の土曜日にも同じSerraの２作品を新しくオープンしたBCAM(Broad Contemporary Art Museum)で見たが、両者とも、あの何も無ければ５秒ほどで何も感じずに素通りしてしまうような巨大で空虚な空間を、一変させていた。両者とも鉄で出来た作品で、例外なく巨大だ。実際の高さは分からないが恐らく３ｍほどあるだろう。それはもはや鉄ではなく壁である。その錆びた鉄の壁は少し外側に傾いていて、一瞬見ただけでは分からないが穏やかなカーブを描いてリボンのような形を作っている。一つの作品は２枚の鉄の壁が並んでおり、その間を歩けるように設置されている。歩いて見ると、実際に訪れたことは無いので分からないが、富山にある立山の雪壁の間を歩くような体験である。自分が小人になった気分になり、そして歩く先には何があるのだろうという好奇心が生まれ、ワクワクしてしまった。正直このワクワク感が永久に続けばいいのにとさえ思った。恐らく１分ぐらい歩いた気がするが、最後まで歩ききると何も無いので正直がっかりしたが、到達感といったような満足感はあった。
２つ目の作品は一つの鉄の壁の作品で、恐らくこっちのほうが作品としては美しい、と思う。一つの壁で出来ているおかげですっきりしているからだろう。この作品もリボンのような形状を取っており、一つ目の作品と違うところは彫刻が作る丸い空間の中に入ることが出来るということだ。とにかく巨大な作品の周りを一周して中に入ると、１５畳ぐらいの空間なのだが、それよりも広々とした印象だった。鉄の壁が外側に傾いているせいだろう。それを見て改めて思ったが、人間の視覚プロセスというのは私たちが信じているほど正確に現実を捉えることは出来ない。目という器官を通して伝達される情報と実際に存在する現実とは往々にして意外と開きがあるものだ。私たちが感じるものはあくまでプロセスされた情報であり、それは実際ではない。現代美術においてそれは当たり前のことなのだがＳｅｒｒａの作品を通じてみるとそれは本当である。人間の感覚は意外と信用できないと、改めて思った。
実は最近仕事が変わり、画廊で働いているのだが感性の無い俺でも美術を通して色んな体験が出来るので毎日楽しい。特に現代美術はパンクロックのように既存の考え方やものの見方を変えてやろうという作品ばかりなので新しい発見の連続である。岡本太郎が現代美術は「なんだこれは？」と思わせる作品でなければならないと言っていたがそれは正しい。平凡な生活をしていると全てが惰性で動いてしまい退屈だが、「なんだこれは？」と思わせる作品と出会い、それを体験することで我々が生きる世界の見方が変わる。これは非常に楽しいし、新鮮だ。
今更日本が退屈だと言うつもりは無い（実際日本は楽しいところだと思う）が、同じ様な顔をして、毎日同じ時間に起きて、同じような飯を食い、同じ音楽を聴いている、言ってみれば波風の立たない環境で生活することに俺はとても苦痛に感じる。正直、毎日に飽きる。確かに時間は一秒ごとに進むし、物事が何も変わらないということは無いのだが、ある意味惰性で生きている人達の世界観は変わらない。もし、ガリレオが天動説のウソを暴かなければ私たちは今でも太陽が地球の周りを回っていると信じていただろう。
先ほども述べたが人間の感覚は信用できないし、考え方、世界観という話になればもっと信用できない。信用できないというよりは人々が信じる「真実」の信憑性は確かなものではなく、打ち破られる価値がある。だから俺はほとんどのニュースを信用しないし、はっきり言ってクソだと思う。問題はどれほどの人がそのように考えるかで、世間の概ね大半は巷にありふれる情報を、特に権威のある情報、を疑うことなく信じているだろう。それを思うと少し凹む。結局俺たちは人形のようにつるされた紐で踊らされているのだ。
こういう話を始めるとキリが無いのでこの辺でやめよう。10代のころにこんな答えも無いことを考え眠れなくなった夜みたいだ。
最後に、こうやってだらだらと文章を書くのも楽しいので毎日続けたいのだが、三日坊主なので次それがいつになるかと思うと楽しみである。
おわり
Writing on my blog
Whenever I write on here, I feel guilty because I think my writing is really all about me, not for somebody's entertaiment. Most of blogs I see are about something interesting; music, art, food, fashion, travel, so on and so forth.
so when I am writing, I keep telling myself, "Who gives a fuck about this. I don't. because who cares?"
This actually eliminates my inner filter and write whatever I want.
Which I am doing.
There is no focus but me. You see?
Should I make this useful for somebody?
but even if it is, is it anybody's business?
Not really.
But I think it will be great if this is useful to somebody someday.
so when I am writing, I keep telling myself, "Who gives a fuck about this. I don't. because who cares?"
This actually eliminates my inner filter and write whatever I want.
Which I am doing.
There is no focus but me. You see?
Should I make this useful for somebody?
but even if it is, is it anybody's business?
Not really.
But I think it will be great if this is useful to somebody someday.
ブラザーはすげぇよ。
いきなり日本語ですけど。
ちょうど友達のUmar aka Hi-Fidel aka Frawhawk Two Feathers.が家に遊びに来てました。
彼を見るたびに思うのですが、本当にタレントのあるブラザーのフローはすげぇ。
やつが黒い血がアルコールによって汚染されてるときは、話をしてるのかラップをかましてるのか非常に微妙です。
日本語でもラップしてるのか話してるのか微妙なぐらいラップのうまいかたいると思うんですけど、その英語と日本語ではやっぱり違うわけですよ。別に俺の中で区別をしてるわけじゃないです。でも日本語だとあまりに話しに聞こえるんでしょう。英語のほうが音楽っぽく聞こえるんですね、俺には。慣れの問題ですかね。良く分かりません。未だに日本語のHip Hopには慣れません。
何か良い日本語のがあればご推薦頂ければ有難いです。
インターネットのフランスのラジオからZap MamaとRootsが絡んでる曲がかかってます。
彼らも一度みたいなぁ。やつらのVooDooに一発やられたいっす。
一度アフリカに行かないと。
そして雨が降った時の踊りを一緒に踊りたい。
魂のこもった踊り。
村中が雨の恵みにより喜びにつつまれ、
皆が歓喜と狂気の混じりあったカオスのビート。
大地と大空に存ずる神に感謝し、また明日美しい朝に包まれる命。
美しい。
夢想でした。
アディオス
ちょうど友達のUmar aka Hi-Fidel aka Frawhawk Two Feathers.が家に遊びに来てました。
彼を見るたびに思うのですが、本当にタレントのあるブラザーのフローはすげぇ。
やつが黒い血がアルコールによって汚染されてるときは、話をしてるのかラップをかましてるのか非常に微妙です。
日本語でもラップしてるのか話してるのか微妙なぐらいラップのうまいかたいると思うんですけど、その英語と日本語ではやっぱり違うわけですよ。別に俺の中で区別をしてるわけじゃないです。でも日本語だとあまりに話しに聞こえるんでしょう。英語のほうが音楽っぽく聞こえるんですね、俺には。慣れの問題ですかね。良く分かりません。未だに日本語のHip Hopには慣れません。
何か良い日本語のがあればご推薦頂ければ有難いです。
インターネットのフランスのラジオからZap MamaとRootsが絡んでる曲がかかってます。
彼らも一度みたいなぁ。やつらのVooDooに一発やられたいっす。
一度アフリカに行かないと。
そして雨が降った時の踊りを一緒に踊りたい。
魂のこもった踊り。
村中が雨の恵みにより喜びにつつまれ、
皆が歓喜と狂気の混じりあったカオスのビート。
大地と大空に存ずる神に感謝し、また明日美しい朝に包まれる命。
美しい。
夢想でした。
アディオス
Lazy X'mas
X'mas is acutally pretty boring because nothing is open and everybody is pretty much with their families.
For those who don't have family here like me and my roomie, it's just another lazy day.
We got pretty drunk last night in friend's house. so we woke up late, had food, rented movie and maybe we are gonna have a big dinner with some other friends and stuff.
I read about 20 pages of novel and went to dreaming on the couch.
Nice.
Remembering this past year, I really do not have good memories, really.
I worked a lot but nothing really sustained. Now I am pretty much jobless.
Love wise, it's a joke.
I had a resolution of staying in the US but that has been accomplished acutally but in unwanted manner.
I gotta make up my mind and decide what I want to accomplish next year.
I acutally don't even know where I am gonna be in next two months. So, this has to be resolved b4 anything else. Well, I am gonna call one contact tomorrow and find out what the deal would be, plus have a meeting with another guy soon. So, after that, I will know what I am gonna do.
I rather go back to Japan though because it was comfortable last time I went back and I don't have to worry about papers and driving. That makes lots of differences. I have been trying to find a way to stay in the US, in a very limited way. but it's tough. I am pretty much losing my motivation for that.
I need a change. really.
I gotta decide by the time new year comes.
by the way, these days I have not found any music, art, fashion, party, people, anything I encounter as exciting. I mean there are exciting things. It's LA. it's more of the state of my mind I guess. It's kinda like I ate too much good food and they taste normal kinda thing. Particulary music is boring nowadays. It's all about parties, dancing, and sex. what surprised me the most was LCD soundsystem this year. Hot Chip, mstrkrft, css, mia, midnight juggernauts, grass candy were what I liked like everybody else.
yet, I don't really get too excited about them like I did when I was in school.
Murakami show at MOCA was actually excellent. I like his intention to create art as medium to translate Japanese popular culture to fine art in a large scale. Although he is super commercial, I think that that is part of his strategy to convey that Japanese pop art is all about commercialism. He totally abuses the aspect of Japanese culture and created his kingdom. But it's great I must say. Seeing his works made me feel that being in Japan you can still do stuff that affects the world in a way.
No music this time because I am lazy.
For those who don't have family here like me and my roomie, it's just another lazy day.
We got pretty drunk last night in friend's house. so we woke up late, had food, rented movie and maybe we are gonna have a big dinner with some other friends and stuff.
I read about 20 pages of novel and went to dreaming on the couch.
Nice.
Remembering this past year, I really do not have good memories, really.
I worked a lot but nothing really sustained. Now I am pretty much jobless.
Love wise, it's a joke.
I had a resolution of staying in the US but that has been accomplished acutally but in unwanted manner.
I gotta make up my mind and decide what I want to accomplish next year.
I acutally don't even know where I am gonna be in next two months. So, this has to be resolved b4 anything else. Well, I am gonna call one contact tomorrow and find out what the deal would be, plus have a meeting with another guy soon. So, after that, I will know what I am gonna do.
I rather go back to Japan though because it was comfortable last time I went back and I don't have to worry about papers and driving. That makes lots of differences. I have been trying to find a way to stay in the US, in a very limited way. but it's tough. I am pretty much losing my motivation for that.
I need a change. really.
I gotta decide by the time new year comes.
by the way, these days I have not found any music, art, fashion, party, people, anything I encounter as exciting. I mean there are exciting things. It's LA. it's more of the state of my mind I guess. It's kinda like I ate too much good food and they taste normal kinda thing. Particulary music is boring nowadays. It's all about parties, dancing, and sex. what surprised me the most was LCD soundsystem this year. Hot Chip, mstrkrft, css, mia, midnight juggernauts, grass candy were what I liked like everybody else.
yet, I don't really get too excited about them like I did when I was in school.
Murakami show at MOCA was actually excellent. I like his intention to create art as medium to translate Japanese popular culture to fine art in a large scale. Although he is super commercial, I think that that is part of his strategy to convey that Japanese pop art is all about commercialism. He totally abuses the aspect of Japanese culture and created his kingdom. But it's great I must say. Seeing his works made me feel that being in Japan you can still do stuff that affects the world in a way.
No music this time because I am lazy.
About stuff
I just came home from work with bunch of food to survive for the next 7 days. Nattos, instant noodles, hijiki and stuff. very lazy kinda food.
Everyday at my current job, I see people with full of bills in their pockets, thinking how powerful their wallets are to the whole economy, simultaneously, how different their tastes are. Most of the stuff we sell in the store, I would not buy them because they are not my taste. I do not say they are not cool. It's just that they are not worth paying lots of money for. I understand that they are cool to them because the merchandizes are from Japan, which they are not used to seeing on their second skin. What's crazy to me is they pay something like $80-$150. on those in the US!! That's kind of a lot. It's cool for the store cuz they make money and they are successful. This tells me business is not what you think is cool definitely sells; it's rather easier to make money considering what customers want.
Anyhow, business is actually pretty boring.
I saw a old Japanese lady at the store today. She was born in Japan but has been in the US for a long time. She has two sons that were about 35 or something. We were talking and she mentioned that freedom is what's great about the US. Yeah, kinda, If you had a paper or if you were white , definitely. If you don't, you are quite screwed. Getting a job that gives you paper is such a hustling and expensive process. Even if you had a job that gives you paper, you gotta work like a slave anyway. so, I don't think there is a sort of freedom that the lady mentioned here. It's a great illusion about this country and once you are dillusioned, it hits you really hard.
It's cool to say "Yeah I live in LA." Weather, people, diversity, culture, music, art, geography, and food are great. but maintaining life here is I think a different story for lots of foreigners here, unless you have a well-paying job, which I don't. Maybe it's not all about the money. it's more about life style that matters. I obviously cannot maitain life that is comfortable in LA. at least not right now. Therefore it's a struggle. the question is is it worth it?
Difficult to answer.
I am not black and my situation is not as bad as described in this song but I have to relate to this song:
Living For the City - Stevie Wonder
I guess it's about time for me to get the hell out.
and feeling like shit in the end of the day, this track saves me:
Shadows - Midnight Juggernauts
Everyday at my current job, I see people with full of bills in their pockets, thinking how powerful their wallets are to the whole economy, simultaneously, how different their tastes are. Most of the stuff we sell in the store, I would not buy them because they are not my taste. I do not say they are not cool. It's just that they are not worth paying lots of money for. I understand that they are cool to them because the merchandizes are from Japan, which they are not used to seeing on their second skin. What's crazy to me is they pay something like $80-$150. on those in the US!! That's kind of a lot. It's cool for the store cuz they make money and they are successful. This tells me business is not what you think is cool definitely sells; it's rather easier to make money considering what customers want.
Anyhow, business is actually pretty boring.
I saw a old Japanese lady at the store today. She was born in Japan but has been in the US for a long time. She has two sons that were about 35 or something. We were talking and she mentioned that freedom is what's great about the US. Yeah, kinda, If you had a paper or if you were white , definitely. If you don't, you are quite screwed. Getting a job that gives you paper is such a hustling and expensive process. Even if you had a job that gives you paper, you gotta work like a slave anyway. so, I don't think there is a sort of freedom that the lady mentioned here. It's a great illusion about this country and once you are dillusioned, it hits you really hard.
It's cool to say "Yeah I live in LA." Weather, people, diversity, culture, music, art, geography, and food are great. but maintaining life here is I think a different story for lots of foreigners here, unless you have a well-paying job, which I don't. Maybe it's not all about the money. it's more about life style that matters. I obviously cannot maitain life that is comfortable in LA. at least not right now. Therefore it's a struggle. the question is is it worth it?
Difficult to answer.
I am not black and my situation is not as bad as described in this song but I have to relate to this song:
Living For the City - Stevie Wonder
I guess it's about time for me to get the hell out.
and feeling like shit in the end of the day, this track saves me:
Shadows - Midnight Juggernauts
Peace
Merry Chritoris bitches!!
It's a Christmas Eve and I gotta go to work to sell sneakers. Not too much fun.
It was fun yesterday though; went to friend's house to watch soccer game, played soccer, and watched a movie at home but passed out in the middle of it. so I basically don't remember what happned to it.
anyhow, it was nice relaxing day. great escape from my worries.
I just discovered that I had a song that I was dying to listen to:
Ernie Hines - Our Generation
Great song with great lyrics and political message.
it's X'mas and we all should be in peace.
I just hope that our generation can bring that by means of understanding, empathy and compassion.
So get together and celebrate!!
Peace
It's a Christmas Eve and I gotta go to work to sell sneakers. Not too much fun.
It was fun yesterday though; went to friend's house to watch soccer game, played soccer, and watched a movie at home but passed out in the middle of it. so I basically don't remember what happned to it.
anyhow, it was nice relaxing day. great escape from my worries.
I just discovered that I had a song that I was dying to listen to:
Ernie Hines - Our Generation
Great song with great lyrics and political message.
it's X'mas and we all should be in peace.
I just hope that our generation can bring that by means of understanding, empathy and compassion.
So get together and celebrate!!
Peace
Not sure really
I ate too much at vietnamese restaurant today.
with awesome coffee, appertizer, meats and friends.
You know it's Saturday afternoon.
I was supposed to help my roomie at his gallery. but could't help my temptation of getting noodles cuz noodles are my passion! Definitely so much better than talking piss on airplane.
anyhow, we didn't get noodles instead we got 7 different meat on one dish. they were delicious, exotic, and sexy. Vietnamese, man. they are sweet but hardcore like their french drip coffee with condensed milk. Yeah it's unexpected. Americans had no idea in the 60s for sizzle.
Lazy Lazy lazy lately.
I quit my job cuz people there are total dickhead. I couldn't stand them anymore. after thinking seriously I wanna do after quitting, I just looked for a serious fashion selling job.
Totally failed like teen idols' opening ceremonial pitch before a baseball game.
shit it was pathetic.
then I found one job but it's really far on the other side of town. that's good but they don't pay me for shit.
I mean I know I am full of uncertainty for them but How the fuck am I gonna live with $6.5/hour wage.!!!!
Insane man. I guess I am worth less than a house dog or something.
More importantly, where I am gonna be next a few months?
What the fuck am I gonna do to survive?
I don't wanna be a bum dude.
Brothers talk about struggles and shit like that. and is this difficulty derived from my laziness, my disqualification, or simply my yellow skin? Not sure really
I just wanna simple and stable but a bit fun job that pay me enough.
I am gonna be 29 next year for fuck sake. I am OLD! I need STABILITY definitely not UNCERTAINTY!!
Definitely, this is the consequence of being a student fo too long. but it shouldn't be this tough to make a simple living with a bit of fun you know?
Los Angeles is fun but brutal sometimes.
Everything looks good on the surface but there are some dirty ass shit underneath like flat boys house's garbage can. if you look deep in the dirt, there are some treasures hidden in the middle of it. You really gotta look and talk to people. Like art and music scene.
ahhh fuck this, really fuck this. I am tired of this mess.
If I am barely surviving here, I betta get the fuck outta here b4 it gets too late.
but not sure really.
So this song fits my mood,
Joy Division - Disorder
with awesome coffee, appertizer, meats and friends.
You know it's Saturday afternoon.
I was supposed to help my roomie at his gallery. but could't help my temptation of getting noodles cuz noodles are my passion! Definitely so much better than talking piss on airplane.
anyhow, we didn't get noodles instead we got 7 different meat on one dish. they were delicious, exotic, and sexy. Vietnamese, man. they are sweet but hardcore like their french drip coffee with condensed milk. Yeah it's unexpected. Americans had no idea in the 60s for sizzle.
Lazy Lazy lazy lately.
I quit my job cuz people there are total dickhead. I couldn't stand them anymore. after thinking seriously I wanna do after quitting, I just looked for a serious fashion selling job.
Totally failed like teen idols' opening ceremonial pitch before a baseball game.
shit it was pathetic.
then I found one job but it's really far on the other side of town. that's good but they don't pay me for shit.
I mean I know I am full of uncertainty for them but How the fuck am I gonna live with $6.5/hour wage.!!!!
Insane man. I guess I am worth less than a house dog or something.
More importantly, where I am gonna be next a few months?
What the fuck am I gonna do to survive?
I don't wanna be a bum dude.
Brothers talk about struggles and shit like that. and is this difficulty derived from my laziness, my disqualification, or simply my yellow skin? Not sure really
I just wanna simple and stable but a bit fun job that pay me enough.
I am gonna be 29 next year for fuck sake. I am OLD! I need STABILITY definitely not UNCERTAINTY!!
Definitely, this is the consequence of being a student fo too long. but it shouldn't be this tough to make a simple living with a bit of fun you know?
Los Angeles is fun but brutal sometimes.
Everything looks good on the surface but there are some dirty ass shit underneath like flat boys house's garbage can. if you look deep in the dirt, there are some treasures hidden in the middle of it. You really gotta look and talk to people. Like art and music scene.
ahhh fuck this, really fuck this. I am tired of this mess.
If I am barely surviving here, I betta get the fuck outta here b4 it gets too late.
but not sure really.
So this song fits my mood,
Joy Division - Disorder
がんばろ
一応これブログやから、読者がいて成り立つものなんですけど、再開してからただの日記になってますね。分裂症気味に思ったことただ書いてるだけでええんやろか？しかも英語で？とか思いますけど、なんか今の自分にこうゆうのは必要だったりするんで、もしわざわざ読んでる方が一人でもいらっしゃったら、ごめんなさい。面白くないですよこれ。
今、ほんの３ヶ月前に行った、Ａｂｓｕｒｄ ＲｅｃｏｒｄｓでまわしてたＥｄｄｉｅ ＲｉｃｈａｄｓのＭｉｘを聞いてます。この人えらいキャリア長いですわ。８０年代にテクノがＰｏｐに取り入れられはじめてヒットし始めたときからやってるんやからすごいですよね。顔はもろクスリめっちゃやってましたって感じです。
なんかこうゆう、だらだらした感じのビートも好きですね。疲れませんわ。
こんなんやったら、一人でずっと動いてられます。実際、俺Ｐａｒｔｙでそうやったし。一緒にいったＪｏｒｄａｎもそんな感じやったし。なんかこうゆうのも気持ちいいですわ。基本的にテクノやけど、ダラーっと気持ちよく時間が過ぎます。俺は、最近流行ってる、Ｎｕ Ｒａｖｅ系も好きやけど、こっちの方がええね。
もし興味があったらチェックしてみて、↓(上から２番目がお勧めかな）
Absurd Recordings; Eddie Richars
13th Minuteからの徐々に上げていくビートがめっちゃ良いです。
これ聞いてたらＰａｒｔｙ行きたくなるなぁ
最近、引きこもり気味なんで遊びに行きたい俺でした
今、ほんの３ヶ月前に行った、Ａｂｓｕｒｄ ＲｅｃｏｒｄｓでまわしてたＥｄｄｉｅ ＲｉｃｈａｄｓのＭｉｘを聞いてます。この人えらいキャリア長いですわ。８０年代にテクノがＰｏｐに取り入れられはじめてヒットし始めたときからやってるんやからすごいですよね。顔はもろクスリめっちゃやってましたって感じです。
なんかこうゆう、だらだらした感じのビートも好きですね。疲れませんわ。
こんなんやったら、一人でずっと動いてられます。実際、俺Ｐａｒｔｙでそうやったし。一緒にいったＪｏｒｄａｎもそんな感じやったし。なんかこうゆうのも気持ちいいですわ。基本的にテクノやけど、ダラーっと気持ちよく時間が過ぎます。俺は、最近流行ってる、Ｎｕ Ｒａｖｅ系も好きやけど、こっちの方がええね。
もし興味があったらチェックしてみて、↓(上から２番目がお勧めかな）
Absurd Recordings; Eddie Richars
13th Minuteからの徐々に上げていくビートがめっちゃ良いです。
これ聞いてたらＰａｒｔｙ行きたくなるなぁ
最近、引きこもり気味なんで遊びに行きたい俺でした
Practice
It's been kinda long since I stoped using English 90% of the time a day.
B4 that I was like I spoke Ingles all da time. so it was simply easier to commucate to people that are not Japanese.
now I am in LA and use Japanese all the time, which means I am around Japanese all the time. Honestly, this is really unconfortable. cuz I forgot how to act as a japanese within japanese culture.
When I was in school, I felt my failed duality of ethnic identity, slightly. but I am actually now a total failure. I mean, it's not even dual. I am a japanese but not really. I speak English and act like an american but not really at all.
Keigo and Tateshakai all the crap stress me out. How the fuck can you say one is superior because of age?
This is fucking stupid. There are people who do not have
ability whatsoever but take this for granted.
But the thing is this is what it is in Japanese culture, and it's inescapable.
Some say speaking a language of a culture is to have understanding of the culture but if you don't speak it properly, you are failure. seriously, I now feel that I don't fit in both. Actually, I feel more comfortable being around with people from here.
I can never go back to japan and have a normal like. this is not to say I can have normal life here in the States either. That's my choice so stop bitching and go to bed and get ready for manana.
I should be proud of my heritage more though. Being Japanese is a great thing.
Otherwise, I would not be what I am now.
So, I am gonna listen:
影 By Great ３。 だって たまには疲れるよ
It's a curse.
B4 that I was like I spoke Ingles all da time. so it was simply easier to commucate to people that are not Japanese.
now I am in LA and use Japanese all the time, which means I am around Japanese all the time. Honestly, this is really unconfortable. cuz I forgot how to act as a japanese within japanese culture.
When I was in school, I felt my failed duality of ethnic identity, slightly. but I am actually now a total failure. I mean, it's not even dual. I am a japanese but not really. I speak English and act like an american but not really at all.
Keigo and Tateshakai all the crap stress me out. How the fuck can you say one is superior because of age?
This is fucking stupid. There are people who do not have
ability whatsoever but take this for granted.
But the thing is this is what it is in Japanese culture, and it's inescapable.
Some say speaking a language of a culture is to have understanding of the culture but if you don't speak it properly, you are failure. seriously, I now feel that I don't fit in both. Actually, I feel more comfortable being around with people from here.
I can never go back to japan and have a normal like. this is not to say I can have normal life here in the States either. That's my choice so stop bitching and go to bed and get ready for manana.
I should be proud of my heritage more though. Being Japanese is a great thing.
Otherwise, I would not be what I am now.
So, I am gonna listen:
影 By Great ３。 だって たまには疲れるよ
It's a curse.