Hello all,
woho the job for ytd ended well, it was so fun ah.. =D will upload some of the pictures later.
and i am still sick, i want to die faster.. =( yes im emo-ing =D
anyway i wanted to post about my true feelings, cos now i have been thinking alot and probably i dont want to keep it to myself already.
this few days i have become more sensitive to girls, i start to doubt them. i dont know why and i think they are like talking behind me and my friend doesn seems to respect me at all and always make fun of me all that, since when did i ever say u guys, and i felt that they dislike me then purposely say me dont respect me as a person dont say friend. i give you face only, wth you think i am that good? i wont be angry etc? cos i dont want to say so much maybe i was sensitive but still yeah I DONT LIKE HOW THE WAY YOU ALL DO THIS. maybe some of you all know who i am saying but im not scolding you or anything, i just need to say out i dont think i am be able to take it because it is starting to pissed me off badly. i hope u get what i mean, i am sure some of the people did that to you before and i know you can choose to avoid it but you are my friend thats why i bother about it.
+ 1 point to make me dislike girls. tho i think i already kind of disliking some girls already.
then with my stead also, our relationship very normal + i am a boring guy, for me i think cosplay come first she also in the group for the job so i dont know how she thinks of me and did her feelings changes all that but probably i also became very sensitive. been thinking alot, since i know probably she got bad temper all that but when i talk to her and i saw her talking to others i dont even care to think about her bad temper etc, her attitude towards me is also so much big gap, she nv talk to others like she did to me so what ? i also dunno anything, you nv tell me.
yes you dont tell me i dont know wha are you thinking about, from my past experiences i think that it is a bother to do so much stuff, so yeah i become a slacker bf and i dont really care about holding hands all that, i mean if together its just more closer ma to know you more then others,
sorry if you think that i am treating you like a friend or something, but for me i think this way is it wrong? i also resepect girls so yeah i dont do anything, what you want me to do, maybe i am just not your type, tsk maybe it was my fault because i suggest that probably we should try out first end up i think that we will be much better as a friend then in r/s.
really + she give me i dont bother about it. i dont know i know she's in sch and busy, but when i said that if we are friends would be better she just orz .. i dont know la once again i felt so stupid like they just playing around with me. well my r/s is very normal so yeah maybe they got bored of it already. Usually if you bf or gf told you that no matter how busy you are, you will tell them what happen and ask them to say about it later. i am not wrong about this right. its pretty normal. ..
once again i felt so ...... i dont feel like getting a gf anymore.
i am so unsure about it, but yeah i wont be shocked if i become a homosexual person.
maybe i am just not good with girls =)
+ now maybe i am just emo-ing or not feeling so good about it r/s but really no matter what kind of gf i have they all shared the same trait.. enough of that if this goes on im going to lose my faith in girls and lose all my Interest in them. =(
i wont deny my true feelings anymore
so yeah say wad u all want but this is me, and dont worry even i become a homosexual i will still be me =) i wont change ..
okay im going to stop now, it's mad of me to say all this stuff in my blog but i wanted u all to know and try to understand if you are a homo phobia person, say all u want i am still myself. and this feeling i having is not recent, just that i choose to deny my feelings and trust the girl. becasue i know not all of the girls are the same so yeah, and now i will say it's pointless.
ps wanted to type more,
I think ah no matter how u like a person after you guys are together maybe it will still be the same but you feelings sure will change for the person i dont know is it good or bad.
i just wanted to be myself!
for my cosplay probably will be stopping
if my brera costume still can refund i want to refund and stop cosplaying, for how long i dont know maybe awhile ? but i dont think i will attent to events also =) i just change back my life to my usual life style =)
bye.