I'm sitting here at an arab coffee shop listening to podcast after podcast about manifestation, personal development, law of attraction, law of detachment, higher self, growing stronger relationships and bonds, chemistry vs connection, etc.
All I'm thinking about is what am I doing? Specifically, what am I doing with him. I have lost my interest and desire(?) for him. His looks are good but his personality is so bad. He needs to heal on his own, I am not his mother. I do not have the patience for it either. He is not the man for me. I know about him more than I did with my ex but his personality is all over the place. His ego is too inflated and in the way. He is smart in his career and quite successful but it's not enough and it goes back to the saying..."money can't buy personality". There is nothing for us here. I cannot mentally attach. It's too much, too soon. So much has happened in such a short time, that negatively affected how I feel and solidified how I didn't think it was a good idea. So how do I let him go? Why am I so weak to let go? His anger is beyond control. Rapid fire temper and then apologies afterward that mean nothing. No real gentleness. I received my first "good morning" message today. After I told him I couldn't talk to him for the night and how much he is stressing me out. I don't fire with fire. His aggressiveness is not attractive. He is not my boyfriend and I have not developed any feelings besides attraction which is NOT enough. I knew that this wasn't going anywhere. I know that this is a dead end. His mental is sporadic.
I confidently know that I am better without this added stress. I am better than chasing money. I am better than not being my authentic self.
Makes me miss my ex. God, I love cancer men. I knew. Text me A. I'm waiting. Make it happen.