Woke up to a dream with a message. I prayed to God and asked for a sign and I received it.
“Better things are coming”
It wasn’t exactly those words but the idea is to suffer and release now and that greater things will follow.
I miss him dearly and think about him in everything. Nights hit me the worse. Checking my phone to see if you’re there but you’re not. The days feel long, it didn’t feel like that before. I can’t wait to leave work and the city that’s close to you so I can focus on my studies. I love you and learned so much. I’m looking for a lot of things about you in others but with more priority of me and closer to me. Someone who’s obsessed with me like you once were.
But god, you had amazing values that are now instilled into me. You changed my life for the better.
I wish you were there to see me grow like you said you were. You eventually chose to let us go. I don’t want to think about what everyone thinks about what was “us”.
I still can’t believe you’re gone. I’m trying my best to not reach out. I wonder how you’re doing.
Spending the holidays alone again. I wonder what I’ll be doing in a few weeks.