People around me would joke around and say that
I am the complete contradiction of the old adage, "No man is an island".
I in turn, would just laugh it off for its absurditiy (and denial which I just realized).
Yet the events last night have somehow triggered something immensely painful.
Now I feel I morphed back to my old self (the old self I thought I tucked safely away from my grasp)...
That same person I tried to ditch from my system...
That complete contradiction of the said adage above..
I am still hurting from the mere memory of sharp words exchanged.
I don't like pain...
and emotional pain to be precise that I can't help but shut down myself...
then strain myself not to shed a tear.
I have been telling myself like some mantra since last night that "I have to be strong for myself" .
So now I'm back to my old self and this certain old view of mine.
Love myself and trust no one but myself.
