People
change as time passes by. Its either you
become a better or worst human being.
Well, that
was just my opinion.
Looking
back, I think I have changed a lot though I’m not that certain if I did change
for the better or worst.
A
juxtaposition, maybe.
I’ve been
internalizing since this morning on what have become of my morals. I used to be the model student in grade
school and high school that even Reyna would half jokingly say that she would
swap her top 1 position in exchange for my deportment award which I always bag
every quarter from the time I set foot and left my HS Alma Mater.
I’m trying
not to sound schmaltzy here ok, but there are times when I miss my innocent and
kind self just like now. Yes, that naïve part of me who believes that behind every
sleeve is a man with a kind heart concealed from the public. I used to repeat that to myself whenever I
meet an intolerable or obnoxious person whom my ego loathes. Yet, that way of
thinking seems to fade gradually at the back of my head.
“Kill your enemies with kindness”, those are
the words I once exhorted to my Art Appreciation professor regarding his
predicament with the school administrators. That being said, my professor
agreed and smiled. Lately have I realized
the interpretation I have made in mind when I uttered those words.
“Kill your
enemies with kindness”. My intention that time was to tell him to
counter-attack the administrators’ opposing ideas and stubbornness with acts of
kindness to piss them more as a sweet revenge. To add more fuel in the fire, I think that is
more what I meant.
But my old
self won’t take it as that. She would
interpret that the other way around. Kill your enemies with kindness – in spite of everything they say, tell
or show you, be kind to your enemies. Be kind in showing them your real intention and not to extract revenge. Kindness is contagious. Once you sow kindness you will also reap
kindness.
That is the
way of thinking of my old self.
You might
wonder, why someone like me who loves to spam my blog page with anything under
the sun is suddenly urged to do some kind of introspection right now. Well, I guess I was too touched by Jean Valjean's
story from Les Miserables yesterday that made me think this way out of the
blue.
Ahhhh…really,
I hate to sound serious here. I think I
just need to release these thoughts of mine to prevent loose bowel movement.