my mom should have read the theory of Carl Rogers before she got married and decided to have kids... because her real and imagined self don't fit each other.
I know for the fact or maybe not yet cause im not there, that parenting is a tough career. of course im not that evil to not give my mom credit for her efforts.. I know how hard it is hard for her these past years. I know how stressful it is for her and I do feel sorry for her... but ironic,, I was never her favorite Child.. She always favor my super dependent brother. She spoils him. No wonder he doesn't have a backbone.. She told me to understand the situation because my brother needs more attention.. But as far as i can remember the psychiatrist didn't tell her to favor him even he is the wrong one already, I even remember what the psychiatrist has written on my brother's report, that my mom should teach him to be INDEPENDENT!! but did she?? NEVER!!! because she thinks that her SON is an angel and im the devil. and by doing that it seems like my brother is autistic. it just like she worsened his condition... My brother has aphasia!!! but yesterday he acted like a mongoloid .. it doesn't have to be that way if my parents didn't spoil him. and what's worse of course,, blaming me...
it's nothing new.. I'm always wrong... even since i was young, i was never right.
'nuff. im tired.
I just wish that my mom will recognize her negative and rejecting attitudes toward me. but i guess she will never recognize that.. because she is limited in ezpressing herself only through chanels that are consitent with her self-image of being a good mother that is giving the Child the basic neccessities like food water shelter and paying for their tuition. In this way, she can express her negative attitudes but still retain her image of being a good mother. which in psychology means that her perceived self and real self is not congruent.
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and i bet if she ever reads that she will never agree....
indeed her perceived seld and real self is not congruent.
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haaayyy hopefully,, all future parents will take some child developement or basic psychology lesson before deiciding to have kids... It's hard to be a parent,, but it it'll be harder for the child if parents keep acting this way. or i guess one should never be given a license to parent if they have some kind of disorders lol. or if they can't admit their faults.