蜜指〜ミツユビ〜 (that I can never hold onto again)

愛してよ　ねぇ愛してよ　ひどく溶かして…

Ah, again and again it's like this. I can't take it anymore. I'm sick of being ugly, broken and useless. I'm repulsive and an onus. It's time to change. Not for you, my love, but for myself as well. I hate(d) myself until you came along and turned my negativity into something meaningful and beautiful. Even with all that you gave me, I still sabotaged and ruined us (but more importantly you). My insecurities, doubts, fears...I selfishly put that on you and I'm so irrevocably sorry with regret and youyouyou are such a good part of me, I don't know how I'm ever going to-

Look at me, your dull semi-precious stone becoming a hopeless romantacist.

I want to know what the future will hold for you and I.

I have to stay strong and carry my own burdens and let you live your life and laugh and love and grow with someone that deserves to shine and stand by your side.

At the same time, I don't think I can truly let you go.

For your sake I should, and I will but it's just so damn difficult. You're crazy too because you want something as wrong as me. You want to spend your precious time with me. The one thing I want to do is make you happy. Denying what you want is all for the greater good, really. You'll see.

もう何も要らないよ 又いつか 生まれ変わっても
僕は君を忘れない だから今…

輪廻する魂の中で さよならを
こだまする真実の愛を 泣き叫ぶ
砕け散る この身体砂に為り 最愛の君の記憶 消えてく

Just promise you'll remember me when you look at the moon.

君が愛しい 君が愛しいから…。

a m e b a ~（ｉДｉ）

I forgot about Ameba~ after I said I wouldn't too. 。(´д｀lll)

I finally entered my own room in what seems like ages and then I randomly thought about posting my messy room in my blog. So. Uh.

orz so much useless crap on my desk. （笑）

Why is it drowing in cans? ;A;

I drink too much Red Bull, I think. So unhealthy but I'm so addicted. I'm quitting, starting today. No more.

While cleaning I found 燦! I was wondering where it went...

Cleaned! ...not really, but at least I recycled. (´＿｀｡)

明けない夜はただ苦しくて辛くて痛いから。

怯える夜が　震える声で
甘える僕に　寄り添う様に
問われる愛で　追われる僕を…。

So I refuse to give in to sleep again and stay concious. Looking at old photographs (I never really was fond of photos) and I am ripping some, deleting most, and safe keeping a few.

Sticking up some random stuff because I can~ (´＿｀｡)

So old. (゜д゜；)

( °д°)

OTL

ｷﾀｰ Y⌒Y⌒Y⌒Y⌒Y⌒Y⌒(｡Ａ｡)!!!

笑って笑って明日を願うんだ。

渦~~~

It's so hot today. 。(´д｀lll) I just got back from the beach and am getting ready again for dinner.

. . .

もう何も言えない———————。

I love driving fast haha. Faster faster faster! (*゜▽゜ノノ゛☆

おはようございます。

Although it is already afternoon. （笑）

This is how I look when I wake up with a sore back and without makeup. Really crappy. orz

I have to remember to update this blog. I don't want it to die so I must feed it with entries. ヽ(;´Д｀)ノ

I went hiking (again) the other day up Grouse. Still hurting. 痛い。;________;

And then I went to catch Death Cab for Cutie's show with Jay!

すごい! They played really well! The crowd was good too. And look, I'm not soaked in rain this time. 8D

When they started playing 'No sunlight' I started grinning like an idiot. (^▽^;)

The acoustic solo of 'I will follow you into the dark' was actually really touching, I was in tears.

琥珀色のバラード聴いて
膝を抱えて一人で泣きました…。

Also today is Gay Day at the PNE. I'm too lazy to go. (-。－；)