今日、わたしは内面を見つめることを恐れません。
初めてのACIM休日クラスopen !
ふといつも気にはしてるんだけど、はっきりさせてない自分の想いを
書き出してみようと思った。
あの時わたしはどう思ってたんだっけ？
嫌だった
怖かった
守ってもらえなかった
・
・
・
・
・
どんどん連ねていくうちに内容が変わって来た
・
・
・
エゴの喜び
Mのせいにしてるわたし
わたしを汚しているのは私
汚れたこ
想いが汚れてる
私だ・・・
幼い時の出来事
悪いのは父だ！
母だ！
と思っていたのに・・・
絶対そうなんだ
でも、それを利用している私がいたんだ・・
すごいショック
なんてこと・・！！
嫌だ
嫌だ
嫌だ
嫌い嫌い嫌いキライ！キライ！！
嫌だ！キライ！
これだけで頭がいっぱいになる！
こんな私なんて大ッキライ！！！
胸が痛くなって
呼吸困難になる・・！
苦しくて苦しくて
涙が出てくる
こんな私を愛せない
大切になんてできない
だって大っ嫌い！！！
助けて・・助けて・・・
苦しい・・・！
誰かに助けてもらわないと・・・
落ち着いて
自分でできるよ・・
ムリ誰か助けて・・！
神が助けてくれる・・？
神は・・こんな私でも愛してくれている・・
知ってる・・愛されている・・
でも・・ムリだよ
大っ嫌いだよ・・
私は大っ嫌いだよ
・・・iphoneがピコンてなった
今日のレッスン309
なんだっけ？なんだっけ？
吹っ飛んでるよ
あわててガイドブックをひらく
小さな声で読んでみる・・・
『内面を見るとは、神が創造されたままのわたしの意思を、ありのままに見いだすことにほかなりません。』
『わたしは、実在ではない別の意思を作り出し、それを実在したと思っているので、内面を見つめることを恐れているのです。』
・
・
『今日わたしが踏み出す一歩は、罪という根拠のない夢から確実にわたしを解放してくれます。』
しばらくぼーぜんとした感じ
そして静かな今になる
ACIM Workbook Lesson 309 Insights
“I will not fear to look within today.”
The burden of guilt that everyone in this world carries is far greater than we recognize. The guilt we are aware of is like the tip of an iceberg. Beneath the surface, hidden in our unconscious mind, is intolerable guilt that seems to lurk, waiting to be discovered. Yet it is feared, for if it were recognized, it would be so dark and horrible that we would no longer want to live.
To protect ourselves from what we believe is there, we push it into unconsciousness and project it onto a world we believe is guilty. We do not see that the guilt we perceive in the world is the guilt we perceive in ourselves, reflected back to us. This is the ego’s belief system. It is founded on the belief that we actually separated from our Source and have made a will different from His.
Today’s lesson brings us freedom from this insane story. It tells us that contrary to what we believe, within us is Eternal Innocence. It tells us that we have not succeeded in making a will in opposition to God’s. The perception of an opposing will is an illusion that could never be real. This is our release from guilt.
The section on the Second Coming that goes with this lesson tells us that the Second Coming is the return of sanity. It is the moment in time when forgiveness rests equally on all things. Forgiveness opens our mind to the recognition that the rift we thought occurred between us and God never happened. We remain united with God. We share His Will and His Will for us is perfect happiness.
The way we reach full recognition of the eternal innocence within is to step-by-step bring every thought of guilt and fear to the Holy Spirit. As we give them to Him with an open mind and heart, we receive His gift of recognition that nothing has ever occurred to alter the Holy Son of God in any way. The Son is our Self, our Identity, forever pure, forever innocent and forever Love.
Today I would accept Holy Spirit’s gift of innocence and share it with the world. For I would not fear to look within today.
This is not an easy concept to grasp. When I first started reading the Course, it discussed this guilt thing immediately. Well, I thought this does not apply to me. My reasoning was I rarely ever do anything to my fellow travelers that would warrant guilt. Besides, if I accidentally offended someone, I would go and “clean” that up and take care of it. This works well for me.
However, the Course discusses guilt at a deeper level, just like the 10 commandments have a deeper meaning to them. I admit that I probably still don’t have the “guilt” concept down 100%, but at least now it makes sense to me. I now stay vigilant to where I may be projecting guilt on to others. However, I don’t find this to be easy to fulfill.