The content of Mrs. Rie Takigawa's "Position Chart" and "Four Control Dramas" that I received the other day was very rich and fun.
These two are linked and useful in real life.
This seminar is rich and recommended ~ ♥
Because of the premise that "there is a lack of energy", we end up with a negative spiral drama.
(I thought it would be easier to grasp the image if I said energy as a "resource".
"Resources" are affectionate, and I think you can say everything about time, freedom, and money. )
Playing an unconscious character to steal energy is called a "control drama".
● Cross-examinator
Prove that you are the right girlfriend and get attention and sympathy.
● Bystander
By keeping a distance from people and pretending to be indifferent, they give anxiety, confusion, and anger to the other person, and attract attention and sympathy.
These two people are a set.
Cross-examinator say, "You need me," and the bystander says, "I need you," they build a strong co-dependent relationship.
It seems that there is always a strong anxiety during this drama, probably because of the negative exchange that "I am right and you are wrong".
For example my actual example.
I'm a system engineer and very good at network knowledge, but there was a young boy who didn't ask me any questions at work.
The child goes to ask another child in the same workplace.
I immediately thought, "He's doing a bystander drama."
In psychology, there is a strict rule that "the person who notices it responds flexibly".
In order not to start the drama of the vulnerable-bystander with me and the boy, I thought of the following method.
① Weaken the Cross-examinator. I say I message, like "I'm sad if you don't come to listen."
② Strengthen the bystander. I leave the place, saying "I see."
Either way, it's a thought experiment that you don't have to continue the control drama anymore because the other party can't do the bystander drama anymore.
Since I always use the method of ①, I tried using the method of ② this time.
So I left the place, saying "I see."
The place went well, and the child couldn't continue the bystander drama anymore and made me quiet. The calm workplace is back.
(Actually, not only that, but eventually the child quit his job first ...)
(It was so effective that it was too good.)
When you repeat the same pattern, you may be addicted to some drama.
If you are interested in what kind of drama you are doing, we recommend Mrs. Rie Takigawa's seminar!
There is still space! ♥♥
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I love amazake.
Relax while strolling in the beautiful garden ♥
