around 12 my housemates made me a bday cake
actually an icecream sandwich 
simple but full of love
and delicious
that was so nice of them
but honestly
im not in bday mood at all
i kept forgetting monday is my birthday
i guess it's because school is way too busy
all i think of is readings, assignments, lecture notes
and worry about my sister
everytime when i looked at oct 15 on the calendar
is like "GPHY 352 essay due" instead of "My 20th bday"
i was thinking what i want for bday this year
ermm the only thing i really really want is that
i want my sister to get well soon
i cry 9 out of 10 times when i think about that she is sick
i wish i can be there with her
she can't decide whether she should continue studying or not
i can't decide for her either
i had been telling her that she should never study again
but then the day before yesterday i realized that she will regret if she stops
ermmm i don't know
kinda wish that daddy or mame pickes the choice for her
sigh