i wanna be the woman like...who? i don have ideals. i always make up by myself. so why am i so nervous? i cant stop thinking. there will be more interesting, smart and cute girl than me all over the world. just now i don have confidence. feel so bad bad bad...i wanna tell someone but i don know what i should do and i don know even myself. because of rain? if its that, whats gonna happen in the seattle? there are lots of rainy days. there are no people who i know. the reason why i don have confidence is that i don have anything now. i don have enough skills, money, power. thats why i become so...crazy. i cant control myself. i cant expect what i wil do like stupid things in the bad situation like now. thats the thing im really afraid of. there were many times the same thing happend. i tell myself im ok. there many times that i thought i shouldnt be with someone. but amazing friends are there always. so i should stop thinking the bad thing.