Halloween

It's Halloween today. I was looking forward to go to a house party because I haven't been it for ages. But the party was just ok. I had fun a bit but I expected more like crazy fun. Since I'm in Canada, I don't know for which reason I'm not having fun at all. I'm very lost. I am here for enjoy my life, but actually I'm not enjoying it at the moment. Nothing exciting, I don't know if I like here. I love summer, beaches, get suntan, and marine sports. I miss it very much. It's depressing sometimes. I just always wanna be happy. Is it that difficult? Really? I WANNA BE IN PEACE AND BE HAPPY. That's it. Here is a big question, what makes me happy?

PMS!

Jay and I broke up last month. I was thinking about him all the time and I had nothing eles to think about when we were together. But he has good friends and a hobby which makes his life enjoyable. He is always happy with or without me. I am a little bit jealous of him. Because I have nothing, nothing into something I love.. like him. I don't know what I like, what I want to do, and what I want to be. I've been feeling that I am lost for a very very long time. Jefferson said to me don't entrust your happiness someone's hands. I know what his mean, I always expect someone to make me happy. I need to be an independent woman. I'm turning 30 soon. 

New york

I still can't believe I was in NYC.. We saw a lot of things we knew only TV, movies or the internet. Which was super cool! The united states is huge, and there are lots and lots of people from all over the world! I didn't like to go to big cities, I always prefer to go to natures. But actually NYC was awesome, I just loved it.. Travelling is amazing, I love my life xx