(originally posted on 2016-09-29 | 11:48:19)
Before the first chemo, my mom said:
“You should become friends with Chemo.“
I interpreted her advice in my own way,
and I started talking to it.
“Nice to meet you, Chemo.
Give me some help to cure my cancer.
I am counting on you.”
I said the word out loud.
The nurse was kind enough
to do the same for me.
“Hello, Chemo.
We appreciate your help
to kill her cancer cells.”
My fear for the medicines has turned into some sort of gratitude.
I assume this medicine was evaluated in clinical trials
which probably pertained to many patients and
their various emotions including regrets, excitements, courage
as well as their hardships and struggles.
And thanks for them,
I am now able to receive this treatment.
It makes me feel that
I am battling together with many other people.
However,
After my fifth chemo,
I wanted to escape all anyhow from this medicine.
I was seriously thinking of any single way to avoid it.
I can’t keep my spirit up all the time.
But I got aware of someone who stopped eating after taking the same medicine that I had.
I prayed for her.
Hope she gets well soon and has at least a small bite.
I am not the only one who is struggling.
When I realized that, I was able to summon all my strong faith and spirit again.
Your comments on this blog remind me
that I am not alone,
and certainly help me a lot.
Thank you all so much as always.