Today's topic will deal with personal responsibilty. How many out there of our readers out there take responsibility for themselves when they have offended someone, made a mistake or lied to themselves about how they were wrong? I watch a whole bunch of people in this world fail to make the connection about their behaviour and the drama that seems to continue to plague them into their adult life. I am not perfect and I know the older I get the easier I can apologize about making a mistake the longer I carry it around as personal baggage. Hopefully the person you might have offended might have the capacity to forgive. I think that the capacity to forgive is directly connected to someone's maturity level and mental health. When two North Americans disagree and have some sort of argument or falling out, the person who seems to first take their responsibility seriously will often apologize first. The other person realizes the futility of holding onto a grudge and will often apologize and forgive in a quick fashion. I have noticed ,however, that an apology in Japanese psychology in a disagreement might be taken as a sign of weakness or guilt and assuming COMPLETE RESPONSIBILITY for the disagreement. I must let our readers know that this is not western psychology AT ALL. An apology is a disagreement about anything usually indicates that they are taking responsibility for THEIR PART in the dispute. It does not absolve anyone who needs to apologize of their own personal responsibility. I have found, in my short time in Japan here, I have noticed that people are often quick to assign blame when failing to examine their own mistakes and motivations that might have contributed to a misunderstanding or a dispute in the first place.
I think that holding a grudge is like carrying around another person's karma or bad attitude when it is completely unnecessary and a total waste of energy. You might wonder how I might know this? Well it comes from years of making mistakes in my own interpersonal relationships. The older I get the more I realize how short life is and that we have to make the best of it because what really is the point of being resentful. I think I have read somewhere also that the ability to not hold resentments is directly related to a balanced healthy life. I sure hope that I can put this into practice in my life.
Practice English everyday and have a great week everyone!
マイク マッカーヒー