- Intimacy- sharing that which is inmost with others
Exchange Relationships (Governed by concern for equity)
- Person motivated by a desire to have a "fair" relationship
- Person desires to be immediately repaid for favors
- Person feels exploited when favors are not returned
- Person keeps track of who is contributing what to the relationship
- Helping one's partner doesn't elevate one's mood
Communal Relationships (Governed by responsiveness to the other's needs)
- Person motivated by a desire to please the other person
- Person dislikes being immediately repaid for favors
- Person does not feel exploited when favors are not returned
- Person does not keep track of who is contributing what to the relationship
- Helping one's partner elevates one's mood
We are molded and remolded by those who have loved us; and, though the love may pass, we are nevertheless their work, for good or ill. - Francois Mauriac, French novelist
Transactive Memory
Daniel Wegner and his colleagues (1991) have found evidence that people in intimate relationships have a shared memory system for encoding, storing, and retrieving information that is greater than either of their individual memories. In this transactive memory, each partner enjoys the benefits of the pairs memory by taking responsibility for remembering just those items that fall clearly to hr or him (Andersson & Ronnberg, 1997).
Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment Style
An expectation about social relationships characterized by a concern that others will not return affection.
Securely attached adults easily become close to others, expect intimate relationships to endure, perceive others as generally trustworthy, and handle relationship conflict constructively.
Avoidant adults are uncomfortable becoming intimate, find it hard to trust others, and often express hostility during relationship conflicts. Because the avoidant style often prompts social rejection, it isn't surprising that avoidants report that they rarely find "true love."Similarly, anxious-ambivalent people also report having unsatisfactory intimate relationships, but, unlike the avoidants, they tend to be obsessed and preoccupied with their romantic partners, and they fear that their intense love will not be reciprocated.