"Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." -H. Jackson Brown Jr.
"We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love." - Dr. Seuss
What does 'love' mean to you? According to Google, the definition of 'love' is "to have a strong affection".
'Love' can be felt towards a number of selective people or it can be felt towards a religious symbol like God or Jesus. Anywho, I think it is inevitable for us to not be able to see or feel love.
So why am I bringing this topic up about 'Love'?
I don't know
Well, I feel lonely sometimes or I just feel like I'm unloved. But then, it may be because as mentioned above, many people show or feel 'love' in different ways.
Having friends that they can open up their feelings to, family to support them; in my opinion, these are ways to show that they care and love. I'm sometimes persuaded that I've got neither of these.
Though, not to sound like I want attention or anything...I feel as if I have had a tough time with love. This will get personal but eh, who's reading this anyway?
Soo yes, my parents got divorced when I was 7 or they lived separately around that time. I lived with my dad and grandpa and went to my mom's on the weekends but most of the time I spent at my grandpa's house.
I always loved my dad. I really don't know why but I loved him very much. He wasn't the head of his office and he barely spoke to me. He was also very hot headed and yelled at me when I got annoying, but to this very day, I love him. Though he did smoke cigarettes to his death. He promised to stop smoking on his 50th birthday but he didn't and they found cancer in his lungs the following year. He only lived four years after that and I lost my favorite father at the age of 13.
My grandfather was very loving to me. He spoiled me to death buying me everything I wanted which is the reason why I always act like a princess to this day. I just wished I had acted more polite to him...I really took advantage of his love. He passed away though from a heart attack a year after my father died. I was in Japan and I really regret not spending more time with him and also not telling him that I loved him.
My mom...I love her very much but there are some rough times with her because our personalities just doesn't match. We always argue over the smallest things. But she's all I have right now.
For a long time now, I have been searching for that love to fill in what has left an empty space in my heart from the losses and blanks of love. I am aware that there are people out there that don't even have parents or even a place to call home.
I sometimes can't hold back these feelings of loneliness and not feeling at all. I wished I wasn't so introvert or had the trauma of being backstabbed by friends to be confused as to who is REAL and who is FAKE. I'm sick and tired of acting like everything is okay and my body is used to feeling not okay...
I feel this went on a tangent again(＞_＜)
But what I think? I wanted to say is that...everyone needs love. So we have to spread it. Many of us are spreading the hate; like spreading rumors or mistreating people. Love is needed to connect us in harmony with the world.
Thank you, to those people who read this all. I was just having these feelings balled up inside of me it was eating me alive!! I just had to write this all out.
By the way, it's not like I've never had a boyfriend or anything. I have...just broke up with him around autumn last year and we were together for 3 years.
I'm not sure if I should continue this post but...I really have this huge vision or ideals for love...or a strong desire of having it (not the sexual kind) but it's really confusing...because I fall in love real easily Not fun!
とかじゃｙなくて 笑）
薔薇の花束をメルベンさんは片手に持ってました！
Not fun!