i have been emoing for the past 2weeks plus. my face really in very bad state. so i need to work on it. if i dont love myself, who will. i have to be strong so i will get him back when he recover. i need to be strong and persevere. so that i can be by his side always. i believe we will be forever.
cried again just now thinkin of him missing him. its killing me. i am gettin more selfish. keep wanting him by my side. want him to kiss my forehead hug me to sleep. if happens.. sure i will wet his chest. i am such a crybaby. regret my wrong doing. will i be forgiven? i really hope i will be.


has been crying.. tearing.. guess i can go blind soon.. i really scare to lose him.. now that i am at the verge of loosing him.. its really very scary.. i cant do anything but keep crying.. i cant even hug him tight & show him how much i dont wanna let go.. i cant do anything.. i feel the end..


lost him.. the pain cant be described.. whole body became strengthless.. cant think and dont wanna think.. lost everything.. cant never smile from my heart anymore.. so i am now official the clown.. just smile for the sake of smiling in front of people but deep inside.... can i have him back?


when u give me a task u seems to focus on me doing the task. ur reply is related to task. not about me anymore. things happened to me are unimportant. u replied more of my progress for the task. not on me anymore. u ask me to do it slowly. but deep in my heart, i seriously cant wait to complete it.

