been in HK and landed this morning and v mixed yay✨

Mum came last month and went to places

walked Puzzle and I miss her😢

and only realised I missed my deadline earlier(:

just let me off for reading week ok😂

fave

I have too much pride to tell people I failed my test today, female engineer and all that crap
honestly I just need a break and I can't let myself go
deadlines Friday Sunday Monday Tuesday and Wednesday with CG and Newcastle and everything going on at the same time but it's okay because life goes on and I am not doing this on my own. God is always with me✨
gotta get out for work dinner tonight and I just want to stay in and never face anyone again
nope
deadlines deadlines deadlines yay

Idk what I am doing but I guess I will figure out half way through the report and actually understand things for once

It’s normal to not understand everything at uni right

Idk why I am doing engineering

Im not clever or anything

Like maths is pretty much the only thing I can do

And idk why but recently been so overwhelmed with hillsong being so big

So intimidated with everyone like how do people even know people like I am so tired talking to people all the time already what am I even doing

Idk im so done Sundays are even dalkdjalsdskfhdf

Baptism?

I’ll give it another 38434932314893458years

There we go

I wish I could do something to glorify God

Just something ugh idk

Are coffee catch ups even worth it

Like I am so lost I don’t want to face anything

And Matt comes into mind when I least want him there

Really not worth my time are people

Stay weird x

really dislike halloween

so many youtube vids are about halloween

think Pan filmed one to upload xdd

 

just came back from freshers camp 2016

it's quite cool to be one of the organisers although all i did was just organise the worship

 

so we had check point yesterday and there was this 'fast pass' to skip all the check points and to do that group members had to get on this wood which floats on the algae on this mysterious pond

and the string kind of broke and Sophie Rinne screamed HAHA

like Cindy kept saying we really cant get the fast pass unless everyone get on the boat thing

and Ivan came over to have a look and he nearly fell into the pond:E(again) tho he only twisted his ankle or sth

 

campfire was indoor, people weren't really high enough i dont think but i love worship and music💚

Jo led it :p

 

talked to Ivan and gonna pray for his ankle and that

didnt realised we really take things for granted, like a perfectly healthy body and a job and an offer from uni

oh what are we without God, just want to praise the Lord with all I have

 

can't even remembered the last time I blogged:p
been a decent week
worked Mon and Tues
Royal Albert Hall on Mon was so good💚
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althought cos Juliane didn't know the time, we got out late and had to run there:L
and Tues she asked if she could use my bedroom for her party cos shes going back to Germany
:L
met Matt in the evening😍
watched Finding Dory and went for food(he paid and said I'm broke anyway)
and walked me home💚
Abbey lunch at Zizzis Shepherd's Bush
she paid with my student discount hahahhaa
had a trial bass lesson with Valentina and shes so goodddd☺️💚
Thurs coffee with Megan and finally getting Beemo back😭💚✨
and another trial with Elena
and drinks in central with JB:p
so good to see him and he bought me drinks and chips hahahhaaaaa

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Friday korean dinner with Hermia
catching up and that, 💚
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when he doesnt text you but you dont wanna text him and you dont know what you can do🙄
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maybe things are already over for us🙄

Sunday!

(elaine gets on my nerve so much omglob)

The sound of Horn

ShaTin City Hall Cultural Activities Hall

it was pretty good Hermann Paw is first horn at Sinfonietta xdd

but the acoustic is pretty bad tho:L

 

jo jit for mid autumn

AH PO💚

home and Sam being rude to mum again, only if there's something I could do about it......

came back yesterday
been so quick
since leaving work on the day they got bacon rolls
went to Germany for Triorca 
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please bring me back right now
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honestly missing this sunset and the place and the people
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even that lake walk
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like I dont want to feel but I also dont want to be a mess and conceal everything
I have this constant fear that no ones gonna care about me and no ones gonna love me and no ones ever gonna be loyal to me
because I am a boring person?
because I dont talk much?
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I wanted someone but didn't realise maybe I'm not ready yet
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hillsongconf day2 
'come expectant'
housepower ago had a theme of 'Next Level'
I want to be the next spiritual level
I just want to be somewhere else I guess

so yesterday for the opener rehearsal
I was so tired I mistaken everyone for people from Triorca
I miss them when I didn't even know them that well
but I just really wanted to play music in a proper youth orchestra 魚しっぽ魚からだ魚あたまオカメインコ

I don't want to feel but maybe he just doesnt use whatsapp and I dont want diatractions I just want to encounter Jesus
Sat went to Histro's it was so far I nearly died
another polaroid wasted like I dont want to trust anyone with it anymore
thing is I dont want to be overreacting and all that but I only get mad over cameras and photos

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practices a bit and this is as good as it gets(music stand wise)

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and I miss this thinf so much:L

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Sunday preach was good(: wasnt meant to be on but a lot of people wasnt there so ended up vision mixing for 1:15 :p
at least got my conference tic sorted yay

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like I'm not even kidding but this is what the sky looks like every evening, kinda want summer to stay now:3

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the station was busy todayもやもや
got what I needed from paperchase and posted my thoughtd out to Rachael照れ

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found some hidden restaurants bars on the way home照れラブラブラブ

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had House Power at St. George's Holborn
'Next Level'
sainsburys(again) with Shreya
carrying pads on public transport like its no big dealニヤリセキセイインコ黄

went to Ivan's at Kingston
accidentally saw Tommy at Waterloo and lightbulbed for the bit of the journey:p
cos he was going with Louisa
oh wells the rest of some cyf got on the train at Wimbledon
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Dough balls were sooooo soooo good💚💚
headed home whilst everyone else went the other way
possibly to go for Korean food
I guess I just really needed time to be alone, desperately 
kitchen sink clogged
idk what I can do._.