Lord, I confessed all my sins and lay them before you. I want to be changed and starts my life again , this time to live a life that glorify you, You never ever leave me though I repeatedly took over the rein of my life from you. 21 years on Earth, have taken a toll on my life. Friends who I have trusted and brave dangers with , just fade away. My talents and abilities I am once proud of, they are nothing is the eyes of the material world. My character was eroded by the pragmatic society and I have lost myself. I do not know how to continue and am very weary. Whatever decisions I made seem wrong and ended tragically. I have asked why do you want to take away my everything from me? My future, my friends . I detest you for you are harsh to me, but you told me that you love me and will bring me through all this. I wanted so much to waste this life away, but you sacrifice your son to be crucifed on the cross just to save my worthless life. I cant see my future, but you told me you have already planned before I was born.
My bible study teachers have turned their back from me. From their eyes I can see their dissapointment. God, I too told myself , they should be disappointed because of my miserably state. But why do they choose to turn their back on me instead of pulling me up. Why do I feel so inferior that I cant even face myself. I seem to be the failure and the black sheep of the class. I hate the mindful eyes of the bystanders, Satan have won in my battle with him because I refuse to let you in. Yet another blow, My buddies they despise me and left me. I finally know how harsh the reality is when you are left wit nothin. Its lik every doors before me are shut and I am left just alone. I hate everything in this world.
I envy how friends could be able to lead the life I so much wanted but denied of. I wishes so much that I could just turn back the time and return to the past. But all these happened because you want to test my faith in you
Whenever I talk or recall about this, my eyes will welled up with tears but I know that this has already left an indelible memories deeply in my Heart. But I choose to cover it up by escaping from it.
Work, Great. I have lost my characters and degraded completely. I was cheated and all I could do was cry. I never know that humans are so evil and perverted, But you saved me times and times. I choose to redrawn myself and hide my real self. I became so void of feelings something I wonder who I really am. But I also met some good people, but I couldnt reciprocrate their feelings.
To the aunties (Factory and CN) , you are almost the same breed of people. You thought of yourself above all. I understand that you do all this to save your own skin. I always remember this incident where you proclaim that You are your own God. The floors I have helped you to mop, the dirty linens I have helped you to wash, the lies I told for you. let it be a lesson to me, I almost lost myself to you. But I am grateful to Lord to open my eyes and let me see and save me through all these ordeals. Lord, thank you for saving me. I know that you are watching after me every single sec, min, moment. I throw away the vengances and hatred I have for them ,
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I choose to forgive you, becouse God told me to, I prayed that your eyes will be open will realise that you are not God after all , God bless you, Amen
" Thank you Lord, for you are a compassionate Lord. When Jesus was crucified on the cross, Insults and maligned, he stood through. In the end, He still prayed to you that you will forgive the people for they do not know what they are doing.
'What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of the man that you visit him. For you have made him a little lower than the angels, and you have crowned him with glory and honor, Psalms 8:4-5
