Am i where i want to be..

Sometimes I wonder.. if it’s really worth it.
This silence.. these feelings.. slowly it consumes me.
Being torn in between two people that I care about.
Lately I’ve been asking myself the question..
Am I where I want to be?
Yet that answer is simple.. but I won’t say the words.
Afraid of things shattering around me.. afraid of getting hurt again.

Love is suppose too be something beautiful.
Something that gives you the feeling you can fight the world.
Then why is it, when I think about that person.. my heart hurts?
Is it the distance.. Is it the past?
Though that answer is simple.. I won’t speak out those words.
Afraid we’ll fall back into that hole.. And won’t make it out.
So afraid of breaking what we made..

Yet here I am.. forcing up a smile.
My mind filled with thoughts of you..
My body wanting to feel your touch..
My heart crying out for your love..
Are we where we want to be?..
And yet again that answer is simple..
But I’m afraid to speak out those words…

memories and broken hearts

Ever wanted something so bad that from the inside out it´s tearing you apart?

I have..


Tears wont stop falling, for reasons i keep hidden as far as possible..

It’s pathetic when your heart wants something your body cant achieve.
Lately i’ve felt more lost that ever..
Im running on empty.. im tired even when i just wake up..
Depression? I like to believe it isnt so.. but maybe i have to face the facts.
My dreams are from happening… im suffocating out here..
Somtimes i wished i never made the trip.. maybe then the loneliness im feeling wouldnt have been there.



My 2 precious friends ones i would die without.. i never thought i could be this attached to someone.
My hubby.. is missing.. he’s happy with his lovie and is really making a go for his life.. im happy about that.
Yet my happiness dries out.. pretending is all i can do.. so much is happening around me.. and truth be told.. i can’t handle the pressure… i miss those precious words ‘’ dont worry.. it will be okay..i’m here..’’



A pair of arms holding me when i cry.. those december nights, im sure you remmeber too has never felt that good.. even now i miss them still..
Your thinking ‘’ drama queen get your act together.. there are worse things’’ and i wont say your wrong. But for me, it’s enough to get totally wiped out..
I’ve never wanted to dispear as much as i do now.. but only two people hold me down right now.. for them i would do anything.. anything humanly possible…
Ever heard the song ‘’better than i know myself’’ from Adam Lambert? Kind of portrays how important My koalabear and my Butterfly are to me.. they make my world go round..

Bubble Tea!

SO!

My first time trying Bubble tea!!
It was amazing
I had lychee and coconut flavor (*O*)/



And if that wasnt enough it even had a Shin CHan sticker on it XDD
I was the happiest person in the world!!




(^3^)v