My ex boyfriend was so much jealous guy.
He tied me down.
どんな時でも嫉妬と束縛の繰り返し。
一度だってやましい事はしたことなかったのに。
I needed to be free.
And I dumped him.
He used to said,
“I've never asked to girls to be my girlfriend before until you. You're the first I asked.”
彼は変な依存に陥ってたと思う。
But I also couldn't easy to forget him.
We crushed down, and back together everytime. Over and over again.
上手くいかないってわかってるのに、彼はいつも私をすぐに引き戻す。
We were having dates with others both of us while we was repeating separate and back again many times.
He told me,
“I've seriously never fell in love like this. I love you, I haven't told that words to any exes except you.”
別れてたけど、私が一番辛い状況の時に助けてくれて、頼れるって思ったからちゃんとヨリ戻してやりなおそうと思った。
そんな私の態度が変わった事を確信して、彼の中で余裕ができたんだと思う。
He's NOT that kind of guy who can't stand by himself. feeling always lonely.
And than he got new girlfriend who kept asking to be hers manytimes, when I decided to back to him seriously again.
The strong girl turned to weak stupid girl.
I hated myself that time.
But a week ago, he came back, and said,
“Be honest, I couldn't forget about you. I'm with new girlfriend now, and no problem between us. I like her, but I love you. I think I'll not able to forget about you forever. If you wanna be back together, I'll break up with her for you.”
Are you....
Stupid?
I said, I don't want.
I think I still have feelings for him too.
But I just woke up from stupid dreams.
I'm standing by myself now.
自立してる今の自分が好き。
また彼のおかげで自分を見失うのは嫌だし、自立してない彼に幻滅したのも事実だった。
彼のことを考えちゃうこともあるし、彼に会いたくもなるけど、仕事も友達も充実してて、自分らしく居れる今が好き。
Be oneself, keep growing, having fun!
Don't lose who you are.
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