Took a break from listening to my new albums, and put on Youtube.
I started watching old ゾロ (Zoro) PV's.
A lot of memories came back.
A few years ago I listened to them all the time (before Taizo left). My most vivid memories of their music blasting from my headphones revolve around coming or going from someone's house. Someone I was once close with. Well, I could say that, but they are in fact quite distant.
Even trying to remember when they were in my life is difficult. It seems like a dream. Something that felt real, but you just can't grasp, and don't have anything physical to show for. Just a place reserved for them inside.
When you wake up, all the possibilites that were in that dream have vanished.
I don't like to accept anything as impossible. But could that person ever return to my life?
How stupid. You can spend years with someone, and they can spend years stuck to either the back of your mind, or the sole of your shoe, and yet... You can go years without talking to them. You can suddenly have a permanent fixture dissapear from your life.
And you never did anything about it.
But at the same time, nothing pressed you to do something either.
We try to come to terms with the lame mundane reality of modern life. Boring.
Everyday since then my resolve returned to its clear nature.
Whatever must be cut, will, whatever must be dropped, shall be, whatever must be destroyed, is inevitably, and whatever must be rendered meaningless, is destined to be.
A few opportunists took control over us and made us their confused servants.
We live lost lives, misguided by the examples set for us.
I don't accept that.
And I will not live an unfulfilled and dissapointed life.