due to connection problems I couldn't post my last entry.
it was sth like "happy new year everyone!" and o yeah "greatest sylvester ever, and though her exboyfriend came with the both of us, it was really fun.. blablub"
the fireworks were breathtaking beautiful and I REALLY am thankfull that I could spend sylvester with that person, that is the most important for me..
...
yesterday I still wanted to thank you for finally giving me another time that, what I was yearning for the whole time.
...
"it has to stop"
in fact I knew it. I alway knew it. the whole time.. but.. I just couldn't stop ^^;
but now the truth is out. well I still don't know if you will ever know about I relly feel towards you, but I don't want to risk our friendship.. wich is the most important for me, because I know that I will never get more than this. I know now, very clearly, how you feel or further do not feel for the female gender, for me.
it's an impossible love.. it always has been, but I never wanted to listen to that voice, that was telling me about this since the beginning.
every time we kissed or did more than this, I knew that it was wrong. that one day it's gonna kill me from the inside.
but well I guess that it's good that it's out now.
I have to take my heart back.. that I gave entierly to you.
but still I want to thank you for this great year. it was full of love, pain, but also the greatest moments that I spent in my whole life.
merci
