i knew this would happen. so lame. haha.


whenever i really truly think i fall in love.

whenever there is some sort of doll involved.

it is always me who ends up heartbroken.


jinxed?


i don't know.
finally there is a closure. but why do i still check her facebook, wait for a phone call, reach out to the phone card, look for her online?
i knew i was obsessed, i knew that it would be me who was obsessed.
i know she is with someone else.
because who and what is there to "ask her"?

i keep eating, dont want to eat.
keep me away from food so that i wont eat. then get skinny. look better.
and then in march i will show her what she is missing on.
inside im just wishing she will come back to me. beg for me back.
but i dont want that to happen. i dont want to go through it again. dont want to be stuck in the past.
dont want to be heartbroken again.
but i do.
dont know what to do. oh lord, someone good must appear in front of me take my breathe away care for me more than she did.


because im stupid i think too much and i love too hard.
this will take time, definitely.




sigh, still misses and loves you lots.


lame. shut me up, seriously




tired of looking up so that the tears wont fall.


tired of dialing to an endless ringing tone.


tired of typing up "hey" to a chat box that will be white.


tired of thinking of you.

and i cant stop.

someone....




baby please come back



dreamed that i went to go look for you.


but you werent there.
and i called you, but you asked if i wanted my things back.

no....

and i was crying. breaking down.


couldnt take it and woke myself up.

baby.....



i love you... :/