----

so today I stumbled my accident upan pron videos on my dads pc.
i just clicked the programm to look thru the folders for my scans and just glimpsed on them for not a second an clicked forward but then was like: wait, WHAT did i read there?
And instead of wiping it away with a "cannot be.." i clicked back button and there they were....
and since then i'm kinda...
disturbed.
not that my dad has these kind of videos on his pc but more about the titles i read...

little pussys awesome to fcuk (that isn't even the corrent translation but i dunno those kin of words in english)
and daddys littel girl

i couldn't look at more because my mind freaked out
completely
and it still does.

those titels.......
i bet these are just some trashy stuff with "just 18" girls butbut...

the titles are disturbing my mind so much.

in german they read more like pedophilic child pron stuff......

but that thought is just so stupid lol
my mind is crazy...


but still i can't stop thinking about it and it kinda kills me...



this is really stuff nobody wants to find out about...



why did he even let it all open at first page of programm when he KNOWS i need to use it sometimes too???!!

so thoughtless!!!


gaa i just wanna forget... just forget forget....

It's just another day...

Oh it's getting all so fuckin' COMPLICATED!!!

I DON'T wanna fall in love with him!

It's enough that I already like him so much.


argh...

oboreru sakana

mid April -> mid May
I'll try this.
guess it'll be hard to do under 500...
I'LL BE STRONG!

You despise me and I love you

Grey skies and light fading
Headlamps making patterns on the wall
Uptown, it's dead now, but
Out here no one seems to care at all

Sick girls and sick boys and
Each one lining up to take him home
They hold tight, their coin and
They pray no one has to see them fall

I'm there, yeah, I serve them
The one with the empty looking eyes
Come closer, you'll see me
The face that is used to telling lies

Saturday nights in neon light
Sunday in the cell
Pills enough to make me feel ill
Cash enough to make me well

Take me, take me to the riot
Take me, take me to the riot
Take me, take me to the riot
Take me, take me to the riot
Take me

You sprung me, I'm grateful
I love when you tell me not to speak
I owe you, but I know you
You'll have me back but it's gonna take a week

What now, kid? Which way, love?
Will we ever make up and be friends?
Good news is my shoes is
Lined with all my nickels and my tens

Let's do that, just feed me
I hate when I have to get to sleep
You despise me and I love you
It's not much but it's just enough to keep

Saturday nights in neon light
Sunday in the cell
Pills enough to make me feel ill
Cash enough to make me well

Take me, take me to the riot
Take me, take me to the riot
Take me, take me to the riot
Take me, take me to the riot

And let me stay
And let me stay
Let me stay, let me
Let me stay

-my hands- don't wnna start again

around 1000 everyday

since yesterday

i'm pretty happy abt this.
i will be stay strong!

so much plans for this summer

apllying for a job (shop staff-chan)
getting driver licence
events
joinin our #1 nagosa (hah, dream dream)

i can do it!

wish me luck

You would not believe your eyes...

so beautieful

Resolutions

next year

I'll fight the never ending appetize and SHAPE THE HELL UP!
Get mental strongness
Find my way and follow it



Listening to good ol' MUCC
heavy on my heart, sad, depressing, thoughtfull, angry...
the Zekkuu album means so much to me
it marks the beginning of my first change, our friendship, the travels and bits of freedom



KARASUs LASTICA PV totally got me, haha.
hot hot hot boys~
(except ponpon loool can't stand his attitude during guitar play)

sucker love

"Emotional and boredom eating are my hugest downfall, along with eating for pleasure. I feel like food is my drug. I really need to get toned massively and lose a ton of weight. My gf is trying to tone up right now as well but she is doing better than me and I wish I had more self discipline.I want to try to lose weight while being healthy but it takes so long and I know once I see the results I'll just want to restrict even more. I feel like weight will be a struggle for me my whole life and I'm scared I'll always be this fat and I'll never achieve my goals."

apres_toi @livejournal


THIS!

feeling so much the same...

i don't believe you

waiting for snow

got it all wrong

listening to Faun
there is this one beautiful girl
her hair all wrapped up in a scarf, some strands/dreads tangeling down on the sides
so pretty

love to light some candles atm
need to buy some cheap ones
i wanna plaster my room with em