One of the reasons why I called this blog Solodier was because I’m single. Not in the sense that I hope to forever stay that way, nor that there is anything particularly noble about being single. I read a Japanese article about people who travel alone, don’t have any plans to get married or have children, and live by themselves. It mentioned the word ‘Solodier’ and I thought it sounded pretty cool.
I watched the film How To Be Single for the second time today. After the holidays, it’s easy to dwell on the fact that I don’t have a partner and also that so many of the people surrounding me do. The film got me thinking about what it’s like to be single and the advantages. It’s time to get to know yourself and to figure out what you want. There are many people who are single but wish they weren’t, and are always on the lookout for their next boyfriend or girlfriend. I think the point of the film was that you have to enjoy being single in order to get to know yourself. I don’t mean having lots of one night stands and going to parties, even though both of those are fine. I mean to explore places on your own and get to know what you like and dislike.
I was in relationships for most of my twenties and it’s been a while since I’ve been in one. As I get older, I find it harder to find a relationship. Before I would often carpet over the problems or doubt that I had in the relationships, because I was simply happy to be in one. Now I don’t see the point in wasting my time with someone who I know isn’t a right fit. It sounds like I have high expectations but it’s really just about finding someone who I can connect with.
So far I think there have been only a handful of people that I’ve connected with fully. Most of them have become my true friends. The two potential partners have sort of disappeared from my life. Of course I’m sad about that but I’m grateful that I could learn what it is I’m looking for and that those people are out there. Being single has allowed me to be independent and make better choices. I’m confident that I could live each day alone and be okay. I would love to have that long term partner who I could grow old with, but I’m not sure I’ve found him yet.
This year one of my intentions is to date and meet people. I know if I go in to each date with a positive attitude, that no matter how well or how badly it goes, I can learn something from it.