I remember hearing that the country Bhutan was one of the happiest countries in the world. I also read recently about Denmark and their concept of Hygge, and how Denmark is also known as one of the happiest countries too. I think it’s difficult to measure happiness but on average these countries come out on top.
At least, while not being a developed country, Bhutan still enters the ranking for overall happiness. One of the reasons for their happiness was because they consider their own death five minutes a day. Across cultures, there are many different customs and beliefs about death, but in the majority death is a morbid and sad affair.
There is no denying that losing a loved one can be terrible painful. The ironic thing is that even though we all know that it’s the one thing in life that is absolutely inevitable, it doesn’t make it any easier.
After considering what it means to die; the person passing on and what it does to the people who are left behind, I sometimes think I have a strange perspective on it.
I do not fear death as much as I fear dying an unfulfilled life. People on their deathbed have often talked about things they regret. They should have worried less, worked less, spent more time with family and friends, etc. The people left behind have regrets like they wished they had spent more time with the person, told them how much they love them, not said such hurtful things.
Learning and understanding these regrets should teach us things about our lives. We should cherish the people close to us and learn to worry less about the future and the past. Life is so short and an unexpected event can cause us to cease to exist.
I have never had a near-death experience, but when the earthquake struck in Japan several years ago, it made me think how sudden life can be taken away. I promised to worry less and live more. That’s not always so easy, but it’s important to be conscious of it. When my father passed away some years ago, my family grieved for his loss. My brother, who has trouble showing emotion, didn’t break down until some time later, and the lack of sharing his feelings has caused him pain since. My stepmother has been in mourning ever since. I chose to live as much life as I can. Not to worry about what might happen. To challenge myself and experience as many things as I can. Of course I grieve his passing, but for me the death of someone close motivated me to enjoy the life I’ve got. For all the years they don’t have time to spend on this earth, I can make up for with living a full life.
Because of this way of thinking, I don’t feel sadness the way my family does. In fact, I might seem a little cold. But living your own life only to be longing for someone who isn’t seems like such a waste of time for me. A death or funeral doesn’t need to be a sad and painful time. It can be a celebration of life, a celebration of the person who died, a celebration of the rest of the life we have to live.