I can't be more then who I am.
I can't stretch myself form just being an Asian.
I don't want to be special, I don't want to be significant, I don't want to be out standing.
I know, I'm not.
But I just wanted to believe I was just born in the far East, nothing else.
I was born on Earth.
I'm citizen of the mother Earth.
I thought.
At least I wanted to believe so.
I tried to convince myself I can be the same in everywhere.
I can live in anywhere I want to.
I can be just as others there.
Wherever.
It doesn't matter.
But no.
There are borders.
There are Nationalities.
There are Races.
I understood by now humans cannot over come aboves.
I'm tired.
Tired of pretending everything is great, life is wonderful.
It's not.
I'm just putting a smile on my fece because a smile is a biggest self defense.
I protect myself from everything with a smile.
It is just on the surface, not from inside.
Let's go home.
I don't want to wear a smile shield anymore.
What?
I'm enjoying my life totally?
What?
I take life easy?
What?
I think everything is great as it is?
No.
Not at all.
Everyday is a tough shit.
I would just not make it through if I don't smile and make others think I'm happy as it is.
I am protecting myself from feeling miserable.
My life is a mess.
Nothing is perfect.
Sometimes, I just want to quit.