Let's all have butyraceous dreams and then share them with each other okay
i had a dream about ben last night.<strong></strong> <strong><a href="http://www.dressesonlinesales.ca/Tags/L/">http://www.dressesonlinesales.ca/Tags/L/</a></strong> avram and i went to austin to see him and found out he was only going to be free after work, which ended at 11. avram didn't want to stay up so late and urged me not to. it made me angry, and i said he didn't have to stay up, that i would hang out with ben by myself.
but ben was acting strange - quiet<strong><a href="http://www.dressesonlinesales.ca/wedding-dresses/informal-wedding-dresses/fairy-tale-wedding-dresses.html">Fairy Tale Wedding Dresses</a> </strong>, withdrawn and in a dark mood. he obviously wanted to see me but i had trouble keeping up with him - we kept going to see icky people that i could tell ben didn't like, but we'd spend time talking to them anyway, even though i just wanted to be with ben. at some point we were going to go to a movie, but then we went to a river instead. ben wanted to find "tuff" formations - these big yellow rocks with intricate carvings in them. but we couldn't agree on where to find them. there weren't any canoes or kayaks for us to borrow, so we just dove into the river and floated. the river was moving fast, and it was full of people. there were big rafts too with parties on them. ben kept getting really far ahead of me, and i'd try to swim through the crowds of floating people to find him. finally i found him on this little island in the river, and he was crying. i asked him what <strong><a href="http://www.dressesonlinesales.ca/wedding-dresses/informal-wedding-dresses/prom-wedding-dresses.html">Prom Wedding Dresses</a></strong> was wrong and why he didn't seem "right". and he said he just couldn't stop thinking about his brother, and asking if he only had done something, his brother wouldn't have killed himself. i told him my mom's brother killed himself decades ago, and my mom still asks that same question. i said it still hurts her to ask but the pain is a little more dull, and that's all we can hope for - that the pain will become less painful. i hugged him and he felt strange - big but bony, like a puppy with lots of loose skin and muscle he hadn't grown into yet. he cried and i cried. i told him i needed him, so he had to hang in there. and then i woke up.