I envy people who are content with life, those who approach each with reckless abandonment, ever hopeful, ever fulfilled. I want to find the flame that lights the happiness candle.
Day 1:
I finally completed half-marathon. It was truly a slow run, with cramps at the beginning. Add to that the 4-5 times my right shoe lace got untied and several trips to the comfort room.
Honestly I wanted to quit at the end of the 2nd km, just as I always feel when I run. My sheen wouldn't let it hold. But I reminded myself that I have been easily quitting on tough times, or boring times. I don't wade out the storm, In some ways I begin to understand why my love relationships don't last.
So, for some reason I muster the strength to go on and I finally got my rhythm from the 7th km all the way to the 17th km when I started to feel fatigue. The last 3 kms were the longest run. But I told myself that I needed to finish the race for my sake.
The thing with running is that it gives you the privacy to really be with yourself, to talk with your thoughts. And today's marathon I saw the parallels with life. You start with a big bunch of people, your compeition. Sometimes you decide to run with them, let others pass by. Sometimes they push you to get passed, some people cheer you. But in the end it is about how you want to pace yourself, it is about wanting to run, or wanting to walk at times.
I cannot completely say that this is today's high because my body's brutally bruised and I can barely walk. But there is this flick of hope today, a spark of inspiration. I have a new determination to not give up easily at work, with the people I truly care. And when I find that next job, I will love it - passionately, patiently.