行き詰まった子供が自分から寄ってくる親であれ
Parenting is one of the most challenging tasks for many people. I have two children, and they are no longer little people (8th and 4th grade), but raising them is still not aneasy thing for me to do at all. In fact, parentingseems gettingmore difficultas they get older. The saying, "Little kids, little problems, big kids,big problems" is probably true.Today was the first day of 2021. I made a Japanese traditional new year's dish,Ozoniwith mochi. It was fun because I was able to cook it with my kids. Myson helped me to peel radish. He did very well although he was scared to use a knife at first, and it was a nerve-recking thing to look at him peeling the radish with a knife. My daughter helped peeling eggs with her fingers as well. It was very cute. The soup smelled and tasted very well, and I thought of my Japanese home, which I hadn’t visited for more than two years. It was the first dish we ate together as a family in 2021, and I felt blessed to be with my family eating the traditional Japanese new year's dish.I'm not the best mother in the entire universe, but I think I'm doing pretty OK with my parental duty. They are healthy, and they seem relatively happy most of the time. Even though they often complain when I take their tablets away or ask them to do house chores, I think they are very good children overall. I'm very proud of them, and more than anything else, I love them so much.Daigu Osho says that one of the most important jobs as parents is to be good listeners. If parents are too worried about their children, those children can sense the parents' anxiety, and they won't be able to talk about their problems. Osho emphasizes that parents should be like oasis: a green area in the middle of a desert, especially when their children are struggling with problems.I don't know if my children will talk about their issues and hardships to me (or to my husband) when they are older, but if they do, I wish I can be a good listener for them. Being a good listener may sound a simple task, but I admit that it'll be very difficult for me to be a good listener because I tend to judge or blame my kids especially when they make mistakes.I felt a little sad when my daughter once told me that she had lost her iPhone in the past at her school, but she couldn't talk about it to me for a long time. She found her phone, so it was not a big deal, but she didn't want to tell me about the incident because she thought I would be very mad at her.She was right tough. I would've been very upset at her or blamed her for being so careless.Finding out that my daughter’s losing her phone was upsetting, but it was not a big deal after all. Life has its ups and downs, and she will most likely face more serious hardships in her life in the future. My children will make a lot of mistakes like I did when I was young (I still do). When they are trapped in a bad situation, I want them to talk to me about it. I may feel scared, and won’t be a big help for them. However, when someone just listens to your problem when you are really struggling, you are no longer alone in the darkness. If I could be the small light in the darkness for my children, that would be more than enough.
