miss him so bad

Ughhhh

i dont know y but i miss him soooooo bad :'(

カートに会いたいカートに会いたいカートに逢いたい…

なんで今更？

てか、いつまで…？

damn, i really miss him n wanna see him...

I have been missing you a lot. I really have been

って、思ってないのに言わないで。

思ってる人はちゃんとメール返しますから。

his gonna graduate in a week.

BUT i dont know where is he heading nor what is he gonna do after school :(

何するか決めたんだ！

って言ってたけど、何するの？って質問にはまだ答えてくれていません。

so i dont know about his future. even near one.

i wanna go over sea to him if he allows me to do so :(

i wanna go visit him if he feels its fine :(

well, i'll make it in this summer if you still care about me.

まぁ、叶わない夢でしょうけど…。

会いに行くのに許可がいるって、どんだけ。苦笑

わざわざ１２時間もかけて太平洋越えてくるんだから喜べｗｗ

ってね、言えたらいいのにね。

anyways,

congratulation on your graduation!

i still miss you Kurt. and I love you.

hope to get to know where does your journey bring you next.

please let me know it, sir???

have a good one.

Im looking forward to seeing you again! Literally.

hope it comes soon.

xoxo

rough time

Life is hard at some point.

i dont wanna do this any more.

i dont wanna think about my future any moment right now.

you know, nobody knows it

so just let it go.

please dont judge me.

i hate ppl are judging me.

i know im bad girl.

lazy, idiot and loser...huh?

i know myself the best.

thats y i hate me.

especially, this kinda me right now.

i suck.

yes, i really do.

i just wanna cry n run away.

but i know i cant.

this is the life how it goes.

i have to go through it.

i duno how it would go,

but i have to try.

try try and try.

my life sucks becase of me...aghhh

Love Letter

前に言ってたラブレターの話。

送ろうかやめようか迷って

結局年明けに送りました。

でも案の定、カートからの音沙汰はなし。。

もうこれでやめるって思ってたのに。

これで、im not gonna contact him by myself.って決めてたのに…。

チキンだよね～私。

このまま終わり…？って思ったら急に怖くなって

手紙を送ったことを後悔しだしたりて

それで…

それで…

弁解のメールを送っちゃった

its true that you are my special but no worries tho cause im not gonna stalk you, chase you or go visit you. it sounded too creepy right? sorry if i made you freak out.....ってな感じで。

弁解とかする自分、まじダサくて嫌い

って思ってたら、カートからメールが返ってきました。

Hey Sato! Sorry I haven't gotten back to you, I did get your card. And it was one of the sweetest, kindest cards I've ever gotten. Thank you so much for it. I've been out of town alot this semester and just never made myself answer my messages.

得意の言い訳だよね。

でもいいの。

sweetest and kindest...

それだけで十分。

うざくはないってことでしょ？

もてる男得意の「ありがとう」受け流し攻撃でしょ？

受け流されたっていい。

愛を返して欲しいとは言わない。

"Thank you"って言ってくれるだけでいい。

うざくないんならそれでいい。

だめだね、やっぱりカートは切れない。

i wanna keep in touch w/ him.

早く時が解決して

心からカートを友達だと思える日が来てくれればいいのに。

はやく、はやく、はやく。。。

てか、そのうざい/きもいラブレター。

こんなところに載せるべきではないんだろうけど…

私の記録に残しておきたいから、書きます。

めっちゃくさいし、てかポエム調やし、文法もはちゃめちゃやし、ひっどいlove letterです

でも、私の正直な気持ちです。

カートに知っておいて欲しかった私の気持ち。

it was one of the sweetest, kindest cards I've ever gotten.って言ってくれてありがとうthat helped me a lot =)

Dear Kurt,

You are my hero.

You are so kind.

You are so funny.

You are so sweet.

You are so hot.

You are amazing.

and You are brilliant.

I like the way you treat your friends really nice.

I like you tell me many funny stories all night.

I like the time you become so damn sweet when you get drunk.
I like the fact that everyone think you are smart.

(smartest boy in your frat. lol)

I like you playing tennis.

I like you don't do discriminate.

I do NOT like you always break the promise.

I hate it.

But your smile make me forgive you.

I like your smiling face so much.

Hope you can smile all the time in your life.

Kurt, I want you to know that

I'm in love with you.

I think I'll love you forever.

even when you have a girlfriend,

you have a wife,

you have your own family,

I'll still love you.

Because you are my hero.

and you are my special

I love you kurt, from bottom of my heart.

I'm so glad to have met you.

Thank you for everything.