Keep Walking
This blog may be history, but the journey has not end yet.
Plus, this will not be a new journey to me, and definitely not old one. This is just a journey.
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Thank you very much for your time & attention. (^∇^)
LifeStyle : Love Each Other, Live Together?
We love each other, so let’s live together? Is this the way to go… until that fine day when you walk (or don’t walk) down the aisle?
From sharing rent and living expenses to having your loved one right next to you every day, co-habitation is fast becoming a trend (many students interviewed say this lifestyle is becoming commonplace among them and their friends); a trial-run, so to speak, before the actual deal of marriage.
Usually referring to couples who live together in an intimate relationship, co-habitation can happen for a myriad of reasons: whether it be for emotional or financial purposes. It also has its ups and downs – living together is not a bed of roses, no matter what the movies tell us.
However, while it is generally frowned upon in a more conservative, traditional society like ours, it does seem that many young couples don’t see the harm in living together.
John C, 25, has been living together with his girlfriend of a year for the past 8 months of their relationship. Although he has yet to tell his parents, he believes that there is nothing wrong with living together – rather, it can be a good thing.
“It is nice to be close to each other and it’s easier for us to go out, meet up with friends, and still know that the other is close by. “No matter where any of us go, we’ll still come back to a cuddle during cold weathers.”
However, he admits that he would rather not tell his parents. “In our society, cohabitation is still frowned upon; if I tell my parents, they will most certainly disapprove.
“The reason why we live together is simple: I love looking at her, although she is shy about it, and I love the idea of a kiss or a hug before sleep,” he says. Being both students of the same course, he says that it is simply easier to have discussions about assignments and consult each other when they hit a snag.
Living together is tough at times, he says, but they rarely argue. “We don’t really argue, though we do have small fights. We always make up in the end.”
Arguments are, however, only a small picture of what living together is like; Bryan Chan, 22, says that living together is, in his opinion, not as simple as living under the same roof. “It’s about getting ready to share your life with another; someone who will be there every single day.”
Chan and his girlfriend of four years have never considered living together, however, as they both know their parents would disapprove and also due to his respect for her and for their relationship.
“Still, when it comes to right or wrong, it’s a matter of perspective,” he says. “Being in a culture-orientated society like ours, where culture does not permit it, many would see it as wrong and inappropriate.”
On the unavoidable topic of sex, he honestly says that from a male perspective, that would be the first thing on their minds. “Any guy who says otherwise is either lying or a saint,” he jokes. “But there are some couples who live together and yet wait, out of respect and love for each other.”
Some of the good points about living together, he feels, would be the comfort of having someone you love close by. It would also perhaps help in preparing young couples to face marriage. However, he feels that the heat of young love may sometimes spur some rash decisions.
“Sometimes, when they are in love, couples rush into things and start living together when they are not ready,” he says. “As a result, what is or could be a strong, lasting relationship may crumble.”
Paul Wong, 25, and his wife of two years, Teo JN, were dating for 10 years before tying the knot –and neither had ever considered living together before that.
“First of all, our parents would never allow it, and second, it is not something that couples must do before marriage, or as a test run,” he says. He believes that marriage does not come with a trial kit – it is not an antivirus programme or computer software.
“I respect her completely,” he says. “Our relationship is as strong as ever even without cohabitation.”
He feels that while cohabitation is becoming almost a norm these days (he has many friends who have lived together with their partners), it is not something you can enter into lightly. “It takes love and respect in a relationship for it to work, not a trial-and-error-run to check or see if it may work.”
Some pros, he feels, would be only on the aspect of cost: it certainly saves on living expenses if couples share the rent and bills. But there are so many other negative aspects: the stigma and parental reaction, being but two of some of them.
“A lot of girls actually do not reveal that they are living with their boyfriends, and are rather reluctant to speak about it, fearing that it may be judged as inappropriate.”
In the end, it may seem as if the young have taken to this trend and feel that it is quite a normal occurrence – yet the subject is still open to debate: is it the best for a relationship to be tested that way? And in a society like ours, would they be able to face up to the frowns and disapproval? Perhaps, in all circumstances, the best action to take is to stop and think carefully before committing to a co-habitation, for it takes a toll on relationships – whether for the better or for the worse.
Staying Apart but Living Together
Parents aren’t keen on the idea of cohabitation; and some couples who are living together are doing so without the knowledge of papa and mama.
Many co-habitating couples mention that their parents know they’re together, but are unaware that they’re living together. Here are some stories on how those who live together have kept it under wraps –by staying apart, but living together.
Zaid and Zila* have known each other for half a year, when Zaid decided to move Zila out of her rented home (which she shared with her girlfriends) and into an apartment of her own –which was a few blocks away from Zaid’s. Shortly after that, he rented the apartment just a few floors above hers to be close to her but still mindful and fearful of getting caught by religious authorities or disapproval from their parents. Now, Zaid has almost moved in. Zila says, his things are all in her apartment already.
Another couple, who are both students, live together at his place although she continues to pay rent for her own room.
And, while not actually staying at the same place, many couples also live together anyway –boyfriends sleep over and literally move the entire contents of their rooms to their girlfriend’s place or vice versa.
Marital Intimacy - The Connection
Marital Intimacy - What is it really?
The term "marital intimacy" is a catch phrase that is used frequently
in today's culture to politely refer to the act of sexual intercourse.
If you attend a couple's seminar, however, you might hear the same
phrase used to describe a much broader context of relationship between
a husband and a wife.
The idea of intimacy implies a connection between two persons,
in this case between two spouses. The writer of the Book of
Ecclesiastes speaks of two individuals deriving warmth from lying down
together (Ecclesiastes 4:9). The same passage provides a visual picture
of a rope that is woven with three strands of cord to symbolize the
intimate connection that exists in a marriage that is strengthened by
God. From these verses in the Bible, we can understand that while
marital intimacy is certainly about a physical connection, it is much
more than that. The Apostle Paul writes in Ephesians 5:31 about a
mysterious union of a man who, by joining himself to a wife, becomes
one flesh with her. As we study the significance of marital intimacy,
we can come to understand the potential for a deep and rewarding
connection between a husband and a wife that encompasses four areas;
emotional, mental/social, spiritual, and physical.
Marital Intimacy - How do we experience it?
If
marital intimacy is really a deep and rewarding connection that can
exist between a husband and wife, who doesn't want it? But how do we
experience it? Marital Intimacy is accomplished as a husband and wife
seek to sacrificially love each other by learning to meet each other's
needs within the marriage. A number of good books have been written on
the subject of how to understand the differences between men and women
and how to begin to meet each other's needs in marriage. Of course, no
spouse should ever be expected to meet all the needs of the other.
Nevertheless, each husband and wife team is made up of two large puzzle
pieces, that when fit together, will create a beautiful panoramic
picture of what marital intimacy is all about.
Marital Intimacy is achieved in all of its completeness as
each spouse learns to share and connect with the other in four areas:
emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical. Because God, the Creator of
mankind, designed men and women uniquely, the way in which these four
aspects of intimacy are experienced is somewhat different for each
spouse.
Women generally seek the fulfillment of emotional connection
and want to know that feelings are both valued and shared in an
intimate relationship. They also enjoy communicating closeness through
mental forms of intimacy and "feel connected" through a mutual exchange
of thoughts. This allows them to enter into the daily world where their
husbands live and think.
Men are wired somewhat differently, and tend to experience the
greatest levels of intimacy through companionship, activity, and forms
of physical intimacy, such as sexual intercourse. While the intimacy
needs of women might be described as "being," the same needs in men can
best be conceptualized as "doing."
Marital Intimacy - Where does God fit in?
A
woman experiences the deepest intimate connection with her husband
through emotional validation and mental exchange. A man achieves the
same feeling of intimacy through involvement with his wife in behaviors
that enhance closeness. Physical intimacy is a significant part of
achieving that closeness. The a husband and a wife can be intimately
involved in meeting each other's emotional, mental, and physical needs.
But what about the spiritual aspect of marital intimacy? Where
does God fit in? He waits to be invited to become the third cord spoken
of in Ecclesiastes, Chapter 4. God reveals Himself in the opening
chapters of Genesis, the first book of the Bible, as Creator of the
universe and of mankind. Here, we find that God has created human
beings in His image. This means that men and women are "soulish"
people. In other words, we have a human spirit that was made to connect
with the Spirit of the living God. God intends that we also join our
spirits together within the covenant of marriage.
How do we achieve spiritual intimacy? We must first recognize
God as the One who has created us and designed a spiritual life for us.
Once we have entered into a personal relationship with Him, then we are
ready to share our spiritual journey with our spouse as we seek all
that God has for us within the beautiful covenant of Godly marriage.
Excerpts from:
http://www.allaboutgod.com/marital-intimacy.htm-kiss of longing-