No one lives the life I live
I spent my entire life sinking into poverty, emptiness, and loneliness, trying to fill the gaps, spending it on depression, despair, no friends, no money, doing whatever I didn't want, and fighting against myself, which I increasingly needed while thinking I was "losing my life." It suddenly led me to throw myself into "anyway" work, I worked like a slave to make money, then I didn't miss anything, I tried every restaurant, I bought everything trendy, I did whatever I wanted, I went out with friends on every "big plan",
But when I looked at myself, I still wasn't happy, I couldn't sleep at night, and I fell into a deeper hole. At the time, everyone was proud of me because I was in a job that made money, but I wasn't.
This is when I crashed. My depression increased.
Nature took everything away from me, I quit my job, left friends behind, burned my sim cards, lost money, moved to the countryside and I couldn't do anything.
But in the end, the greatest achievement I ever had in my life was finally "nothing" and "no one"
And of course, you'll say, "Sad." Because I was empty again, just like before. But that wasn't sad. It was the best thing that ever happened, why?
It turns out that none of this was necessary, only acceptance.
I began to accept nothing of myself. I was ashamed of the places I accepted and avoided, of not communicating with everyone, of not having money, not being poor, not being able to buy anything, of wearing the same clothes every day, of refusing to take work, of being reckless, productive and without work, I was looked upon with pitiful eyes as lonely and empty, and I did nothing, started cooking, cleaned the house, washed the dishes, went for a walk, sat with the older people, and found peace,
And suddenly, I found happiness for the first time in 31 years.
For happiness is from simplicity, from nothing, from the most foolish, without achievement, dreams, or ambition. I've become someone I've fought and avoided in the past and I've allowed it to happen, but I wouldn't say I'm broken. I'm still hurt in everyone's eyes, but I'm not. I found it. 
