«Part One»
What are the cliché ways that a story can be started with?
Let’s see, girl falling from the sky, getting summoned to an alternate dimension, caught in an unwanted war, prophesied as the Chosen One, a girl waking up in the same bed as you, being at the wrong place at the right time, some crazy family ancestry that gives you special powers…did I miss anything? Oh right, coming across a dead body and the lists goes ever on.
Seriously, who keeps track of these kind of things anyway? Is there some sort of ‘Your chance to be a protagonist’ application form that is being handed out? Then you get to tick in what kind of cliché entrance you want to have, and POOF! You’re a protagonist.
There was also the option of ‘dying then revived by a bishoujo,’ and unfortunately, this is the closest description of what was happening to me right now.
More like, the bishoujo is about to kill you, and then revive you, then kill you again.
How pretty was the bishoujo? Hmm…
I’d say she was about 167cm tall, had her black hair in a ponytail, and her eyes should have been a nice shade of brown, if it wasn’t glowing bright red at the moment. I’m not an expert in those three areas, but I visually confirmed that her oppai made a clear ‘boing’ movement in a timespan of about 0.8 seconds.
Let me know if you can figure it out. I can’t.
She was wearing a sort of traditional Japanese clothing that I had no name for (I’m sorry ok? I grew up overseas!!) which was black in color and had no sleeves. The similar shade of black that trailed from her neck was a scarf that had some sort of symbol on it.
Eh? What kind of symbol?
Give me a break, I can’t notice such small details like that when a pretty ninja girl was chasing after me with her eyes glowing an unnatural red.
But I could describe the weapon that she was using to destroy the environment around me.
A small scythe and a dagger-like thing which also looked like it could be used as a shuriken was connected to each other by a chain on their hilts. And I have no idea whether the black aura that is leaking from it part of its ability set.
I doubt this could be the legendary [Protagonist Misfortune].
No way, I refuse to believe it. I refuse to believe that I, Shiranui Seki, whose luck rivals The Lady herself could come under the power of [Protagonist Misfortune].
[Gogogogogo]
But reality is harsh. The continuous [gogogogo] was undeniably there.
I wanted to say that it was the sound effects of the unfortunate trees breaking, or the poor pavement flying, but you know as well as I do that trees and pavement do not make that sound effect.
That was the sound effect of a dangerous ninja bishoujo chasing after me.
Why is the girl falling from the sky? How does one get summoned to an alternate dimension? Who goes on morning exercise runs through a battlefield? Who is the idiot that said that you would be the savior of humankind? Blame your crazy ancestor that did it with that girl in his bed if you have some messed up family lineage and pray you aren’t the dead body.
The problem in this case, I wasn’t about to be killed by a crazy man in blue tights and a cursed red spear, or a serial killer m*sou shoujo who was being controlled by a demon king.
It was the pretty girl that was supposed to revive me who is trying to kill me.
That’s like saying instead of blue tights spear guy, it was the school idol who was secretly a magician trying to burn a hole through my body with magic.
Wait, I’m not saying it should be that! If it did, I think she would start deviating from her character class of [Ninja] and turn into a [Mage] so that she wouldn’t have to use expensive revive items and instead use a cheap skill to revive me.
That would mean my poor 183cm tall body with cool metallic-colored eyes and awesome blond hair would go through perfect combos and suffer unthinkable carnage from not touching the floor at all.
Noooooooo!!!! I can’t let that happen!!!!
I still have to make my proper introduction! I still have to start on my journey to find my missing father! I need to get a girlfriend! I need to clear a hundred floors and defeat the evil Game Master who locked 10,000 people in a death game! I need to—
--explain why I’m running away from a bishoujo.
No normal, sane, healthy teenage guy would do that. I am a normal, sane, healthy teenage guy. Normal, sane, healthy teenage guys would bring her out on a date, or something of the sort.
But I’m not.
I’m running at full speed AWAY from the girl whose oppai bounces in 0.8 seconds.
I’m running with all my strength, hoping not to get caught by that spinning death weapon which is leaking a black aura.
How did I awaken a monster more ferocious than a motion-sick fire-breathing dragon whose name is summer!
There are two problems I had to deal with right now.
1) I had a problem with the small problem which started this mess.
2) The answer to the problem with the small problem which started this mess is that I didn’t know what the problem was.
That’s right.
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I’M BEING CHASED!!!! IT’S DEFINITELY NOT MY FAULT IF I WAKE UP ON A LAP PILLOW OF A GIRL THAT I DO NOT KNOW!!! SO IT’S CLEARLY NOT MY FAULT!!!!!
What kind of normal person would give a lap pillow to somebody she doesn’t know? And what were we doing in the middle of a beautiful picturesque forest lake scene like some romantic couple on a date?
It’s like those cliché scenarios from before.
The girl is falling from the sky because she jumped off a roof. You get into an alternate dimension because things like magic exist there and opened a portal for you to enter. That girl in bed is either your wife, sister or you’re dead shit. If you’re a soldier you have to run through a battlefield and prophecies are either fake, dead on, or too vague to understand.
That means, if a bishoujo with glowing red eyes is chasing you, death is inevitable.
All because of one message.
The message that started it all.
…
I had just finished a casual online FPS tournament and was about to head out for an early dinner. My room was not some messy dump that had mountains of rubbish everywhere. It was neatly organized with shelves of games and various consoles while random magazines lay on my table.
This was the room of an elite gamer.
This was my room.
The room’s total worth was probably something in the high USD$100K, because of the various rare editions of games and ancient consoles that weren’t sold anymore.
Not so long ago, I started using only 10,000 yen. Everything else came after I started entering and winning online and offline tournaments. The side job I do as an editor and tester for a big gaming magazine also helps a lot.
And I’m only starting my second year of high school.
Then came that message on my phone.
[Swordland]
Do you want to play? [Yes/No]
That was all it said.
In simple white words on a black background, there were no pictures or logo that could tell which company made the game.
Common sense said it could be a virus, gamer sense said it was going to be fun.
Gamer sense won.
I clicked yes.
Please wait as the app is installed on your phone.
I hummed as I walked towards the street ramen stall since my parents weren’t at home. The loading bar slowly made its way across the screen. Eventually, it reached 100% before I reached the store.
The finishing beep made me look at my phone.
The screen displayed a sort of magic-circle kind of main menu screen. It had three options, Start, Status, and Settings. The standard three S.
I clicked on the Status, to take a look.
Who wouldn’t?
Being a good gamer means to check out the game first before randomly jumping in to create your character. Of course I would look in the Status and Setting screens first, don’t you?
(Ok, I created this rule alright? But admit it, you go to the Settings first.)
The Status screen layout was like an ID card.
My name was at the top, then the usual things like Battles Won, Rank, an empty space for a clan/guild logo and something called Mil, which I had 3000 of. I guessed it was the in-game currency.
I swiped my finger across the screen to bring up the Settings page.
Hmm, weird.
There was nothing in the settings about the video or audio quality.
There was only BGM [On/Off], Direct Requests [On/Off], Familiar [Choose Mode], and
Maybe it was part of the game?
Oh well, that leaves only the Start choice. The tutorial should start soon after I initiate the game.
*click*
The screen lit up and more words came out. Please prepare yourself for the transfer.
Below it, a circle with a number 5 in the center appeared.
Then it changed to 4.
3…
2……
1………
__
That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up on the first lap pillow of my teenage life which lacks youthfulness.
It was also the first time I was about to experience the sensation known as Death. I’m sorry Mum, Dad, I can’t take of you when you’re old. I’m about to move on before you.
“STOP RUNNING AND PREPARE TO DIE!!!”
*dokaaa!!*
“I DON’T WANNA DIE SO I’M NOT STOPPING!!!!”
*dondondon gashaaaaa gashagashagasha*
“YOU MUST PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES, YOU PERVERT!!!”
*gachink gachink zuuuuu patapata*
“THEN WOULD YOU AT LEAST LET ME STAND TRIAL?!!!”
*fuwaaa suriiiii*
The ninja girl jumped over me and landed without causing a crater. As expected of a ninja who can make her eyes glow and manifest her killing aura into a physical objecy.
“Trials are just a waste of time when the defendant is guilty.”
“Guilty of what?!”
Her face flushed red and though her eyes stopped glowing, they were still angry.
“You said it was soft!! After all the training I went, it shouldn’t be soft at all!!!”
What is she saying?! Is she trying to lie to me and pretend oppai are actually not soft?!
“I may not know how soft they actually are, but I know at least that it’s soft and it bounces!”
“There’s a limit on how much you can insult a girl…”
A black aura that was leaking out from her weapon was now appearing behind her. Isn't that thing dangerous? It shouldn’t even exist in reality!!
“Ahem…”
A cute voice of a young girl suddenly came from behind me! But if I turn around now, who knows what the ninja girl would do to me!!! What a dilemma!!
“Shion is very so…ita!”
At the even cuter sound of her accidently biting her tongue, I turned to see a little girl wearing the dark clothes of a Goth loli, and carrying a pink pig doll. The kind of cute imouto-chan with, in this case long black hair, who always follows the strongest character in the manga series.
Hey! Just because I’m a pro-gamer doesn’t mean I don’t surf forums or watch anime! OK?!
Hold on, if that sort of loli was here, then wouldn’t the super strong character be somewhere nearby?
“Shion is very sorry, onee-sama. It was a slight misunderstanding because he’s a new player. It was his first time logging in.”
Nope, there’s no sign of him.
“Ev-Even then it’s unforgivable for him to—to…”
No sign of him yet.
“Shion is one of the twelve assigned to teach him about [Swordland].”
“One of the twelve? You mean…? Ahh, I see. You have my condolences to guide a pervert like him.”
Still no sign of him. Was he even coming?
“Mou! Shion said it was a misunderstanding!”
“Yes, it’s a common misunderstanding that those things must be soft.”
Maybe he was hiding in the trees somewhere. Come to think of it, I wasn’t standing in a town. Rather, I was standing on a pathway with trees on both sides, making an arch. It felt like a road connecting towns than a proper beginner stage. Maybe it’s supposed to have a cutscene?
NO! HOLD ON A MINUTE THERE!!!!!
I’m here in physical form, in my own body! It wouldn’t have been a problem if it was a VRMMO, but this was clearly a handphone application! THERE WOULDN’T BE A CUTSCENE! What kind of sorcery is this?!
“But onee-sama, Shion says that is a misunderstanding!”
“It’s ok Shion-chan. I’ll handle the kunoichi. All you have to do is complete your task of teaching the new guy.”
ANOTHER CHARACTER APPEARED JUST LIKE THAT!!!
Not only was she wearing a suit and glasses, she had horns and her ponytail—no it cannot be called a ponytail. Her hair was moving and it was on fire. On top of that, the fire slowly changed color from red to orange and even blue and green! What kind of creature was she?!!!!
But if you could ignore the horns and the flaming hair, she was the type that many guys would want her to look down on them and verbally abuse them. And no, I’m not that kind of guy. I’m more interested in—HEY! I’m not discussing this topic here.
“Sky-oneesama! Shion is indeb—ita!—to you.”
“It’s alright. Go on, leave the kunoichi to me. I’ll punish her in a way that will send her straight to heaven.”
The new sexy onee-sama said something scary! And her eyes glinted when she spoke! The way she uses her finger to push up her glasses is really exciting for some reason! I don’t know whether I want to know the punishment or not!!
Even the ninja girl is slowly backing away! But the onee-sama managed to catch the ninja girl’s collar.
“Oh ho? Now where do you think you’re running to, my dear girl?”
“Eek!”
“I’ll make you play a penalty game for making Shion-chan cry.”
“But Sky-oneesama, Shion didn’t cry!”
“Noooo!!!!”
The little girl, Shion repeated herself as the ninja girl was being carried on the shoulder of the onee-sama. I think I can safely say that wasn’t an opening cutscene, nor part of the tutorial….
“Ahem… good afternoon Shiranui Seki-san. Shion’s name is Shion and Shion is supposed to teach you about [Swordland].”
Ahh!! So cute!! Even her bow was cute!
“Un, un. Can you call me onii-chan?”
I shook my head. How can I let this chance pass by?
“Oh! Shion understands!”
Her eyes brightened up as she spoke.
“I see, I see, you underst—“Shiranui-san is one of those onii-chan perverts!”—WHAAAAAT?!!!!”
“Shion heard about them from Rei-oneechan. Rei-oneechan said Shion should be careful of those perverts. If those perverts continue to hara—ita!—harass Shion, Rei-oneechan would send them directly to hell.”
WHAT KIND OF FAMILY DOES SHE HAVE?! One older sister sends people to heaven with her punishment and another sister sends people directly to hell.
“Geh… Shion, please do me a favor and don’t tell Rei-oneechan, whoever she is.”
“Why? Rei-oneechan said that Shion is a good girl when Shion listens to Shion’s nee-sama.”
AAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!! THIS REI PERSON IS SUCH A PAIN!!!!!!! Now for no reason, I’m about to be sent on the highway to hell again!!! I didn’t do anything wrong this time either!
“Shion-chan, I promise you that I am not one of those onii-chan perverts you’re talking about. So will you not call Rei-oneechan?”
Shion-chan’s eyes lit up and nodded energetically…
…is what I wanted to say. Instead, it drooped and she looked sideways.
“Oh….Is that so…”
“Um, Shion-chan, why is your voice trailing off?”
“Because Shion has already called Rei-oneechan.”
WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY TODAY?!!!!
Just then, a loud sonic boom occurred. It was a long time since I heard one, so my ears hurt quite a lot.
Wait, what? A sonic boom?
*shing*
A polished metal blade appeared at my neck. It was quick, and barely two seconds from the sonic boom.
“Are you the disgusting lolicon insect?”
A) Yes, I am.
B) Sorry, you got the wrong person.
OF COURSE I’LL PICK B!
“Hmph, you think I would fall for that? There’s no other perverted lolicon around here.”
Since when did kuuderes become not dere? Or was I mistaken in some fact at some point?
“Rei-oneechan~!”
Oh? So this girl with shining silver hair and a pair of white wings is the irritating Rei? I have to admit, the green light particles emanating from her hair is pretty and even though her irises are red, it contrasted nicely against her black blazer. Her sword wasn’t dull either. It was the same shade of red as her eyes, and a guard in the design of a wing was made out of metallic steel.
“Shion-chan here will explain to you that I am NOT a perverted lolicon. Go ahead, tell her.”
I nodded as I explained myself. Disaster avoided.
The sword was still poised at my neck.
“Umm, didn’t I just explain the situation?”
The blade twisted away, but the sword was still hovering next to my neck.
“Shion, you can start the tutorial now. The instant this perverted lolicon does something perverted, I’ll just remove his perverted head.”
That’s a lot of ‘perverted’, don’t you think?
“Yes! Rei-oneechan~!”
Ahh, this onii-ch—*ahem* I am so sad!!
Shion continued to talk, not realizing the sadness of an unfulfilled drea—wish.
“Currently, Shiranui-sama is not on Earth, but another world called [Swordland].”
“SAY WHAT?!”
“Shiranui-sama didn’t hear wrongly. The first transfer from Earth to [Swordland] causes immense stress on a person’s mind and body. That’s the reason why you might have blacked out.”
“(So that’s the reason I was given a lap pillow?)”
“Hn, I thought I heard something perverted come out from a bug somewhere.”
“YOU DIDN’T HEAR ANYTHING!!”
“Shion is continuing Shion’s explanation~★”
How oblivious to the intense killing aura is this little girl?! I’m not a hero-wannabe highschool student who has the scabbard of a holy sword inside him, nor am I a familiar of a vampire, so death is scary to me! If I die, I DIE!!!! AND I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!!
“In [Swordland], players fight by using [Sword Spirits]. [Sword Spirits] have several forms for different occasions. Most spirits have three forms, [Normal, Sword, and Phone]. In normal mode, the spirit is in its normal self. Sword mode turns your [Sword Spirit] into a wieldable weapon in battles, while Phone mode is used on Earth and when you wish to hide your spirit.”
I raised my hand slowly.
“Yes, Shiranui-sama?”
“How do I get this [Sword Spirits] thing?”
“One must make a contract of course!”
“Yea, but how do I contract one?”
“Even perverted insects should know that.”
Geh… such a cold reply from Rei, but as expected of a kind loli—I mean little girl, Shion explained for me.
“In [Swordland], a player’s phone is the most important item he owns. It acts as a catalyst for the contract with the familiar, an identification card, Mil transfer device, Battle and Job Requests, and allows travel between Earth and [Swordland]. It is also used to monitor your Sword Spirit’s growth and stats, and customize their accessories.”
“So it’s a Contract, ID card, credit card, résumé, passport and growth monitor?”
“Uhn~! Not only that, phones with the [Swordland] app installed do not require normal charging anymore. It has a special link with SwordNet and receives its energy from there!”
That sounds very convenient.
“Oh, but what if I need to change phones?”
“No problem! The phone itself is enveloped in a barrier that protects it from most damages. If you require a visual upgrade, you can simply purchase it from the store!”
“The tutorial includes a marketing strategy as well?!”
“Hm?”
Shion tilted her head in confusion.
“Nn, never mind.”
“Then let’s head off to Ledain for Contracting!”
Shion jumped with happiness and twirled around, her black skirt fluttering around her as she walked forward on the pathway.
“Cool! How does a [Sword Spirit] look like?”
“I’ll give you an example. They are something like mermaids.”
“Oho?!”
Rei’s words created the image of a sexy mermaid with her long hair wet from the water, and her tail, sparkling in the sunlight in my mind.
“Yes, they have the head of a tuna and the legs of a human.”
“NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I DON’T WANT A [Sword Spirit] LIKE THAT!!!!!!”
*shakin*
Rei’s sharp blade appeared at my neck before I could make a move.
“There’s no turning back once you have entered [Swordland].”
She clicked her fingers and a rope magically appeared and coiled itself around me.
“You will make a Contract.”
Rei and Shion continued walking while I was dragged by the rope.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
What are the cliché ways that a story can be started with?
Let’s see, girl falling from the sky, getting summoned to an alternate dimension, caught in an unwanted war, prophesied as the Chosen One, a girl waking up in the same bed as you, being at the wrong place at the right time, some crazy family ancestry that gives you special powers…did I miss anything? Oh right, coming across a dead body and the lists goes ever on.
Seriously, who keeps track of these kind of things anyway? Is there some sort of ‘Your chance to be a protagonist’ application form that is being handed out? Then you get to tick in what kind of cliché entrance you want to have, and POOF! You’re a protagonist.
There was also the option of ‘dying then revived by a bishoujo,’ and unfortunately, this is the closest description of what was happening to me right now.
More like, the bishoujo is about to kill you, and then revive you, then kill you again.
How pretty was the bishoujo? Hmm…
I’d say she was about 167cm tall, had her black hair in a ponytail, and her eyes should have been a nice shade of brown, if it wasn’t glowing bright red at the moment. I’m not an expert in those three areas, but I visually confirmed that her oppai made a clear ‘boing’ movement in a timespan of about 0.8 seconds.
Let me know if you can figure it out. I can’t.
She was wearing a sort of traditional Japanese clothing that I had no name for (I’m sorry ok? I grew up overseas!!) which was black in color and had no sleeves. The similar shade of black that trailed from her neck was a scarf that had some sort of symbol on it.
Eh? What kind of symbol?
Give me a break, I can’t notice such small details like that when a pretty ninja girl was chasing after me with her eyes glowing an unnatural red.
But I could describe the weapon that she was using to destroy the environment around me.
A small scythe and a dagger-like thing which also looked like it could be used as a shuriken was connected to each other by a chain on their hilts. And I have no idea whether the black aura that is leaking from it part of its ability set.
I doubt this could be the legendary [Protagonist Misfortune].
No way, I refuse to believe it. I refuse to believe that I, Shiranui Seki, whose luck rivals The Lady herself could come under the power of [Protagonist Misfortune].
[Gogogogogo]
But reality is harsh. The continuous [gogogogo] was undeniably there.
I wanted to say that it was the sound effects of the unfortunate trees breaking, or the poor pavement flying, but you know as well as I do that trees and pavement do not make that sound effect.
That was the sound effect of a dangerous ninja bishoujo chasing after me.
Why is the girl falling from the sky? How does one get summoned to an alternate dimension? Who goes on morning exercise runs through a battlefield? Who is the idiot that said that you would be the savior of humankind? Blame your crazy ancestor that did it with that girl in his bed if you have some messed up family lineage and pray you aren’t the dead body.
The problem in this case, I wasn’t about to be killed by a crazy man in blue tights and a cursed red spear, or a serial killer m*sou shoujo who was being controlled by a demon king.
It was the pretty girl that was supposed to revive me who is trying to kill me.
That’s like saying instead of blue tights spear guy, it was the school idol who was secretly a magician trying to burn a hole through my body with magic.
Wait, I’m not saying it should be that! If it did, I think she would start deviating from her character class of [Ninja] and turn into a [Mage] so that she wouldn’t have to use expensive revive items and instead use a cheap skill to revive me.
That would mean my poor 183cm tall body with cool metallic-colored eyes and awesome blond hair would go through perfect combos and suffer unthinkable carnage from not touching the floor at all.
Noooooooo!!!! I can’t let that happen!!!!
I still have to make my proper introduction! I still have to start on my journey to find my missing father! I need to get a girlfriend! I need to clear a hundred floors and defeat the evil Game Master who locked 10,000 people in a death game! I need to—
--explain why I’m running away from a bishoujo.
No normal, sane, healthy teenage guy would do that. I am a normal, sane, healthy teenage guy. Normal, sane, healthy teenage guys would bring her out on a date, or something of the sort.
But I’m not.
I’m running at full speed AWAY from the girl whose oppai bounces in 0.8 seconds.
I’m running with all my strength, hoping not to get caught by that spinning death weapon which is leaking a black aura.
How did I awaken a monster more ferocious than a motion-sick fire-breathing dragon whose name is summer!
There are two problems I had to deal with right now.
1) I had a problem with the small problem which started this mess.
2) The answer to the problem with the small problem which started this mess is that I didn’t know what the problem was.
That’s right.
I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHY I’M BEING CHASED!!!! IT’S DEFINITELY NOT MY FAULT IF I WAKE UP ON A LAP PILLOW OF A GIRL THAT I DO NOT KNOW!!! SO IT’S CLEARLY NOT MY FAULT!!!!!
What kind of normal person would give a lap pillow to somebody she doesn’t know? And what were we doing in the middle of a beautiful picturesque forest lake scene like some romantic couple on a date?
It’s like those cliché scenarios from before.
The girl is falling from the sky because she jumped off a roof. You get into an alternate dimension because things like magic exist there and opened a portal for you to enter. That girl in bed is either your wife, sister or you’re dead shit. If you’re a soldier you have to run through a battlefield and prophecies are either fake, dead on, or too vague to understand.
That means, if a bishoujo with glowing red eyes is chasing you, death is inevitable.
All because of one message.
The message that started it all.
…
I had just finished a casual online FPS tournament and was about to head out for an early dinner. My room was not some messy dump that had mountains of rubbish everywhere. It was neatly organized with shelves of games and various consoles while random magazines lay on my table.
This was the room of an elite gamer.
This was my room.
The room’s total worth was probably something in the high USD$100K, because of the various rare editions of games and ancient consoles that weren’t sold anymore.
Not so long ago, I started using only 10,000 yen. Everything else came after I started entering and winning online and offline tournaments. The side job I do as an editor and tester for a big gaming magazine also helps a lot.
And I’m only starting my second year of high school.
Then came that message on my phone.
[Swordland]
Do you want to play? [Yes/No]
That was all it said.
In simple white words on a black background, there were no pictures or logo that could tell which company made the game.
Common sense said it could be a virus, gamer sense said it was going to be fun.
Gamer sense won.
I clicked yes.
Please wait as the app is installed on your phone.
I hummed as I walked towards the street ramen stall since my parents weren’t at home. The loading bar slowly made its way across the screen. Eventually, it reached 100% before I reached the store.
The finishing beep made me look at my phone.
The screen displayed a sort of magic-circle kind of main menu screen. It had three options, Start, Status, and Settings. The standard three S.
I clicked on the Status, to take a look.
Who wouldn’t?
Being a good gamer means to check out the game first before randomly jumping in to create your character. Of course I would look in the Status and Setting screens first, don’t you?
(Ok, I created this rule alright? But admit it, you go to the Settings first.)
The Status screen layout was like an ID card.
My name was at the top, then the usual things like Battles Won, Rank, an empty space for a clan/guild logo and something called Mil, which I had 3000 of. I guessed it was the in-game currency.
I swiped my finger across the screen to bring up the Settings page.
Hmm, weird.
There was nothing in the settings about the video or audio quality.
There was only BGM [On/Off], Direct Requests [On/Off], Familiar [Choose Mode], and
Maybe it was part of the game?
Oh well, that leaves only the Start choice. The tutorial should start soon after I initiate the game.
*click*
The screen lit up and more words came out. Please prepare yourself for the transfer.
Below it, a circle with a number 5 in the center appeared.
Then it changed to 4.
3…
2……
1………
__
That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up on the first lap pillow of my teenage life which lacks youthfulness.
It was also the first time I was about to experience the sensation known as Death. I’m sorry Mum, Dad, I can’t take of you when you’re old. I’m about to move on before you.
“STOP RUNNING AND PREPARE TO DIE!!!”
*dokaaa!!*
“I DON’T WANNA DIE SO I’M NOT STOPPING!!!!”
*dondondon gashaaaaa gashagashagasha*
“YOU MUST PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES, YOU PERVERT!!!”
*gachink gachink zuuuuu patapata*
“THEN WOULD YOU AT LEAST LET ME STAND TRIAL?!!!”
*fuwaaa suriiiii*
The ninja girl jumped over me and landed without causing a crater. As expected of a ninja who can make her eyes glow and manifest her killing aura into a physical objecy.
“Trials are just a waste of time when the defendant is guilty.”
“Guilty of what?!”
Her face flushed red and though her eyes stopped glowing, they were still angry.
“You said it was soft!! After all the training I went, it shouldn’t be soft at all!!!”
What is she saying?! Is she trying to lie to me and pretend oppai are actually not soft?!
“I may not know how soft they actually are, but I know at least that it’s soft and it bounces!”
“There’s a limit on how much you can insult a girl…”
A black aura that was leaking out from her weapon was now appearing behind her. Isn't that thing dangerous? It shouldn’t even exist in reality!!
“Ahem…”
A cute voice of a young girl suddenly came from behind me! But if I turn around now, who knows what the ninja girl would do to me!!! What a dilemma!!
“Shion is very so…ita!”
At the even cuter sound of her accidently biting her tongue, I turned to see a little girl wearing the dark clothes of a Goth loli, and carrying a pink pig doll. The kind of cute imouto-chan with, in this case long black hair, who always follows the strongest character in the manga series.
Hey! Just because I’m a pro-gamer doesn’t mean I don’t surf forums or watch anime! OK?!
Hold on, if that sort of loli was here, then wouldn’t the super strong character be somewhere nearby?
“Shion is very sorry, onee-sama. It was a slight misunderstanding because he’s a new player. It was his first time logging in.”
Nope, there’s no sign of him.
“Ev-Even then it’s unforgivable for him to—to…”
No sign of him yet.
“Shion is one of the twelve assigned to teach him about [Swordland].”
“One of the twelve? You mean…? Ahh, I see. You have my condolences to guide a pervert like him.”
Still no sign of him. Was he even coming?
“Mou! Shion said it was a misunderstanding!”
“Yes, it’s a common misunderstanding that those things must be soft.”
Maybe he was hiding in the trees somewhere. Come to think of it, I wasn’t standing in a town. Rather, I was standing on a pathway with trees on both sides, making an arch. It felt like a road connecting towns than a proper beginner stage. Maybe it’s supposed to have a cutscene?
NO! HOLD ON A MINUTE THERE!!!!!
I’m here in physical form, in my own body! It wouldn’t have been a problem if it was a VRMMO, but this was clearly a handphone application! THERE WOULDN’T BE A CUTSCENE! What kind of sorcery is this?!
“But onee-sama, Shion says that is a misunderstanding!”
“It’s ok Shion-chan. I’ll handle the kunoichi. All you have to do is complete your task of teaching the new guy.”
ANOTHER CHARACTER APPEARED JUST LIKE THAT!!!
Not only was she wearing a suit and glasses, she had horns and her ponytail—no it cannot be called a ponytail. Her hair was moving and it was on fire. On top of that, the fire slowly changed color from red to orange and even blue and green! What kind of creature was she?!!!!
But if you could ignore the horns and the flaming hair, she was the type that many guys would want her to look down on them and verbally abuse them. And no, I’m not that kind of guy. I’m more interested in—HEY! I’m not discussing this topic here.
“Sky-oneesama! Shion is indeb—ita!—to you.”
“It’s alright. Go on, leave the kunoichi to me. I’ll punish her in a way that will send her straight to heaven.”
The new sexy onee-sama said something scary! And her eyes glinted when she spoke! The way she uses her finger to push up her glasses is really exciting for some reason! I don’t know whether I want to know the punishment or not!!
Even the ninja girl is slowly backing away! But the onee-sama managed to catch the ninja girl’s collar.
“Oh ho? Now where do you think you’re running to, my dear girl?”
“Eek!”
“I’ll make you play a penalty game for making Shion-chan cry.”
“But Sky-oneesama, Shion didn’t cry!”
“Noooo!!!!”
The little girl, Shion repeated herself as the ninja girl was being carried on the shoulder of the onee-sama. I think I can safely say that wasn’t an opening cutscene, nor part of the tutorial….
“Ahem… good afternoon Shiranui Seki-san. Shion’s name is Shion and Shion is supposed to teach you about [Swordland].”
Ahh!! So cute!! Even her bow was cute!
“Un, un. Can you call me onii-chan?”
I shook my head. How can I let this chance pass by?
“Oh! Shion understands!”
Her eyes brightened up as she spoke.
“I see, I see, you underst—“Shiranui-san is one of those onii-chan perverts!”—WHAAAAAT?!!!!”
“Shion heard about them from Rei-oneechan. Rei-oneechan said Shion should be careful of those perverts. If those perverts continue to hara—ita!—harass Shion, Rei-oneechan would send them directly to hell.”
WHAT KIND OF FAMILY DOES SHE HAVE?! One older sister sends people to heaven with her punishment and another sister sends people directly to hell.
“Geh… Shion, please do me a favor and don’t tell Rei-oneechan, whoever she is.”
“Why? Rei-oneechan said that Shion is a good girl when Shion listens to Shion’s nee-sama.”
AAAARRRRGGHHHH!!!! THIS REI PERSON IS SUCH A PAIN!!!!!!! Now for no reason, I’m about to be sent on the highway to hell again!!! I didn’t do anything wrong this time either!
“Shion-chan, I promise you that I am not one of those onii-chan perverts you’re talking about. So will you not call Rei-oneechan?”
Shion-chan’s eyes lit up and nodded energetically…
…is what I wanted to say. Instead, it drooped and she looked sideways.
“Oh….Is that so…”
“Um, Shion-chan, why is your voice trailing off?”
“Because Shion has already called Rei-oneechan.”
WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY TODAY?!!!!
Just then, a loud sonic boom occurred. It was a long time since I heard one, so my ears hurt quite a lot.
Wait, what? A sonic boom?
*shing*
A polished metal blade appeared at my neck. It was quick, and barely two seconds from the sonic boom.
“Are you the disgusting lolicon insect?”
A) Yes, I am.
B) Sorry, you got the wrong person.
OF COURSE I’LL PICK B!
“Hmph, you think I would fall for that? There’s no other perverted lolicon around here.”
Since when did kuuderes become not dere? Or was I mistaken in some fact at some point?
“Rei-oneechan~!”
Oh? So this girl with shining silver hair and a pair of white wings is the irritating Rei? I have to admit, the green light particles emanating from her hair is pretty and even though her irises are red, it contrasted nicely against her black blazer. Her sword wasn’t dull either. It was the same shade of red as her eyes, and a guard in the design of a wing was made out of metallic steel.
“Shion-chan here will explain to you that I am NOT a perverted lolicon. Go ahead, tell her.”
I nodded as I explained myself. Disaster avoided.
The sword was still poised at my neck.
“Umm, didn’t I just explain the situation?”
The blade twisted away, but the sword was still hovering next to my neck.
“Shion, you can start the tutorial now. The instant this perverted lolicon does something perverted, I’ll just remove his perverted head.”
That’s a lot of ‘perverted’, don’t you think?
“Yes! Rei-oneechan~!”
Ahh, this onii-ch—*ahem* I am so sad!!
Shion continued to talk, not realizing the sadness of an unfulfilled drea—wish.
“Currently, Shiranui-sama is not on Earth, but another world called [Swordland].”
“SAY WHAT?!”
“Shiranui-sama didn’t hear wrongly. The first transfer from Earth to [Swordland] causes immense stress on a person’s mind and body. That’s the reason why you might have blacked out.”
“(So that’s the reason I was given a lap pillow?)”
“Hn, I thought I heard something perverted come out from a bug somewhere.”
“YOU DIDN’T HEAR ANYTHING!!”
“Shion is continuing Shion’s explanation~★”
How oblivious to the intense killing aura is this little girl?! I’m not a hero-wannabe highschool student who has the scabbard of a holy sword inside him, nor am I a familiar of a vampire, so death is scary to me! If I die, I DIE!!!! AND I DON’T WANT TO DIE!!!
“In [Swordland], players fight by using [Sword Spirits]. [Sword Spirits] have several forms for different occasions. Most spirits have three forms, [Normal, Sword, and Phone]. In normal mode, the spirit is in its normal self. Sword mode turns your [Sword Spirit] into a wieldable weapon in battles, while Phone mode is used on Earth and when you wish to hide your spirit.”
I raised my hand slowly.
“Yes, Shiranui-sama?”
“How do I get this [Sword Spirits] thing?”
“One must make a contract of course!”
“Yea, but how do I contract one?”
“Even perverted insects should know that.”
Geh… such a cold reply from Rei, but as expected of a kind loli—I mean little girl, Shion explained for me.
“In [Swordland], a player’s phone is the most important item he owns. It acts as a catalyst for the contract with the familiar, an identification card, Mil transfer device, Battle and Job Requests, and allows travel between Earth and [Swordland]. It is also used to monitor your Sword Spirit’s growth and stats, and customize their accessories.”
“So it’s a Contract, ID card, credit card, résumé, passport and growth monitor?”
“Uhn~! Not only that, phones with the [Swordland] app installed do not require normal charging anymore. It has a special link with SwordNet and receives its energy from there!”
That sounds very convenient.
“Oh, but what if I need to change phones?”
“No problem! The phone itself is enveloped in a barrier that protects it from most damages. If you require a visual upgrade, you can simply purchase it from the store!”
“The tutorial includes a marketing strategy as well?!”
“Hm?”
Shion tilted her head in confusion.
“Nn, never mind.”
“Then let’s head off to Ledain for Contracting!”
Shion jumped with happiness and twirled around, her black skirt fluttering around her as she walked forward on the pathway.
“Cool! How does a [Sword Spirit] look like?”
“I’ll give you an example. They are something like mermaids.”
“Oho?!”
Rei’s words created the image of a sexy mermaid with her long hair wet from the water, and her tail, sparkling in the sunlight in my mind.
“Yes, they have the head of a tuna and the legs of a human.”
“NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I DON’T WANT A [Sword Spirit] LIKE THAT!!!!!!”
*shakin*
Rei’s sharp blade appeared at my neck before I could make a move.
“There’s no turning back once you have entered [Swordland].”
She clicked her fingers and a rope magically appeared and coiled itself around me.
“You will make a Contract.”
Rei and Shion continued walking while I was dragged by the rope.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
But this is so i can clean up my writing style and write AiSekai properly so that all of you can enjoy it as much as i did writing 
