suicide

i made somewhat a post like this somewhere

how do i feel about it? would i be the one to do it? and is it genuine bullshit.

i feel like overall my personal bias

i attempted 3 or 4 times in my life

one time i almost succeeded, i did it at a time where i thought it didnt really matter bc everyone was out of reach 

im not so apologetic about it because no one knows about it , never talked about it

i hinted at it to a friend but brushed it off

i stopped being so empathetic or caring about suicide,

i feel so drained about the topic it claws at me it stabs at me it tears me apart 

now it no longer tears at me because i pretend its something that doesnt exist

i dont wanna care , i just wanna pretend those who die such a way didnt exist 

didnt happen, but thats so ignorant? so desensitive? and overall cruel.

but why does it matter, i stayed uncomfortable all my life when now i seek comfort i feel terrible

im losing empathy, i cant stand it

years of torture and neglect from others

why should i care about you? 

to be honest thats not a question directed at you, more of a question youre asking me and im asking you the same thing.

why should you care about me?

thats a question that is important, if u cant answer it then that says alot about what youre feeling

you dont care about the person, you just want to help the needy. you do not care