『放課後、ラブホで、先生と。』私にはおすすめ度は★★★★★です! 前回と同じで、ごめんなさい、私は日本語が苦手なので、以下のレビュー・感想を全て英語で書き込みする。(えっと...実は私は英語を母語とする人ではないけど...) (長文でごめん、3.2万文字数近い...) 

 

Overall opinions

 

Now that the story has been ended, I can finally conclude that the mangaka is similar to Amy Wong (one of my fav drama producers / cheif scriptwriters) who likes to write super detailed elaboration before main dishes instead of intentions of dragging the story, impressive that there were no draggy meaningless arcs from chapter 1 to the final episode (like teacher's responsibility arc, CEO arc, sensei's notorious rumour arc... All have meanings; slow but have progress/new things of the couples to learn about in every ep), unlike those notorious shoujo mangaka introduce lots of love rivals to make stories draggy, so far no love rivals ever since they have become lovers. Haha I have much tolerance to slow pacing and I do appreciate super detailed elaborations (like I love Amy Wong's trilogy while I know Amy loves to depict background stories as detailed as possible, the major highlight of plots that most audiences expect only start around episode 17 for dramas of 25 - 35 episodes, and I'm fine with that.) 

 

unlike most romance stories readers, I really dislike those stories mentioned certain themes like certain industry in their title but soon threw things related to the theme away but just functioned as background stories or how the characters met... So I don't think hotel customer crisis arc is too side track, after all, manga name is "After school, at love hotel, with teacher", I think "love hotel" and "teacher" are the key elements and needed to be elaborated well, Some arcs just feel like pure teacher-student romance irrelevant to the hotel (eg. hot spring dating confession & Valentine's flasher & exposed relationship to besties) (Xmas aquarium date slightly off topic but did mentioned one reason he loves her is her desperation to protect the hotel), The school trip is about "teacher" side, has been a long time not having hotel related hurdles ever since the hot spring confession… Also it is neccessary to have an arc not too short showing how "keeping distance" affected their interactions the contrast (ref ch. 222 - 225) after building up the teacher's responsibilty arc that well and super detailed.


 

 Hotel crisis arc

 

0. I wish the hotel crisis could be solved soon, because it is much more complicated than past arcs, which either solved by ① saitou-sensei physically rescued Kanna, ② telling lies, or ③ emotionally make the troublemaker feel touched. But I don't think lacking customers could be solved by any of these methods, business field is fierce y'all know. Don't see how sensei could be involved to help Kanna, it's not like he was a successful businessman or a professor that specialized in business ……………………… Past arcs: lacking staff→he volunteered, and examples for ①→Valentine's flasher & hot spring trip right before confession & school trip deer attack, ②→intern iwasaki & Yui, ③→he discloses relationships in front of besties & Yui

 

1. I feel like chapter 221 echoed the beginning of the story (they both recounted that), also saitou sensei called kanna out about her dropping academic results & he offered help to her & hotel crisis, but what's difference is now lack of customers instead of staff and at the beginning the hotel brought them together now maybe drifted them apart instead...

 

2. school trip arc & hotel customer crisis are 2 long critical story arc (ie. Kanna's determination to work hard on parents' hotel, and Saitou-sensei's struggles on the belief of balancing both roles as teacher & lover, both beliefs were shaken), so it's very understandable for me that not many lovey-dovey moments. 

 

so it has become a bittersweet story indeed… (before chapter 203, it has sweetness overload…)

- Kanna who often is immature claiming lonely want skinship, really obedient after sensei asking her to keep distance, she accidentally but not intentionally bumped into sensei rolled on bed out of excitement. Also it is the magic of the hotel caused sensei backhug her not intentionally (both thought "sudden carried away by nice mood", kanna thought it gave the feeling of wish come true, then his weak side exposed sigh if can really in a world with only each other that would be so good without problems)

- Now they used ways other than skinship to express love and care toward each other… eg. Sensei boyfriendly comforted kanna by, ① praising her hotel is also good when she got too defeated by the wonderfulness of the rival hotel, and ② told her worrying too much is not good better to rest after leaving… Also they warmly reminded each other to stop intimacy, eg. ① Kanna originally didn't tell why she was so worried to not add burden to busy sensei, ② when sensei backhugged her kanna reminded his "guardian of field trip" character setting that he claimed + emphasized before entering the room, and ③ he remind her to resume investigation when she bumped into his chest on the bed wanting to stay

 

2. I understand Kanna concerned about the CEO because he knew what her hotel looked like before the death of her parents, but the CEO still refused to give her constructive suggestion on how she could regain customers, so I don't see the point to keep going out with the CEO.

 

3. Probably… Watanabe wouldn't accept Kanna dating with other men without proper reasons especially those who he was not familiar with / not fully trusted rather than himself, but saitou-sensei was the one who he accepted to be Kanna's lover rather than himself because he was familiar with saitou-sensei and trusted him (why trust him? recall Yui's arc, Watanabe basically praised saitou-sensei, Watanabe at first dated Kanna as defiance to rival saitou-sensei and said at first he didn't trust saitou-sensei but then saitou-sensei overlooked for him, and the intern/stage makeup arc saitou-sensei rescued Watanabe and they learned more about each other in that talk and got to know saitou-sensei would turn a blind eye to those who have difficult family situation that he would sympathise for.)

 

4. Saitou-sensei's mental strength is extremely strong lol (some readers said he is "S"-ish {"S" from"BDSM"}, well he has to, otherwise the harsh compression would crush him). When he suggested keeping distance from each other he mentioned that he needed to carefully hide his affections through behavior and facial expressions, also he needed to suppress his sex desire, I thought those are already harsh for him, and some readers expected him scrap the decision first for lovey-dovey moments (me too, I am fine without lovey-dovey moments but the title preview before this release was "I want to hear more of Kanna's voice" so) but surprisingly he firmly stick with his decision only bury his head into pillow ranted 1 sentence "want hear more from her" then soon returned to his teacher mode. Don't think he broke his promise of keeping distance from each other, he didn't meet her privately because he missed her but to help her to overcome the crisis and good for his teacher mode too if she can concentrate on her study.

 

5. Surprised that we get to see Kanna's imagination of saitou-sensei doing SM-room related things with her after several years (the last time we got to see those imagination was chapter 10… also chapter 2 & 4 & 5 & 9), her imagination was sensei using cat o' nine tails (multi-tailed whip) when interrogating her about the visits to luxurious hotel with CEO on the bandage chair lol… her imagination = "skipped cram school to stay at luxurious hotel with a man alone?" "No, only I stayed" "moreover used man's money to thoroughly enjoy drinking unlinited cups of cocktail?" " No that's non alcohol drink" 

 

6. Another difficult situation that makes readers sigh (another one being keeping distance because of teacher's responsibility), from Saitou-sensei's point of view it would be he tried his best to suppress his feelings for the sake of whole class but what he gets in return was Kanna cheating on him 😢… Kanna too, just like Watanabe threatened her to date with him before, she didn't cheat on saitou-sensei only hangs out with CEO and Watanabe for hotel's sake).

 

7. Last time I mentioned that I hope Watanabe goes to Kanna's hotel when he's on duty and asks for details / Kanna properly explains her affairs with the CEO to Watanabe (then maybe Watanabe also helped her to explain that to saitou-sensei), it would be better than direct confrontation between the couple. But now it is the worst case — Watanabe informed Saitou-sensei without Kanna involved. But well judging from Saitou-sensei's thought, he probably won't try to investigate Kanna because he's too busy just try to believe her really studying if Watanabe hadn't inform him. Therefore, as a plot device / confrontation or Saitou-sensei's participation in this hotel customer crisis arc, it is necessary for Watanabe to inform the affairs to Saitou-sensei. 

 

8. Believe that CEO isn't planning something evil for the sake of crushing / acquisition of her hotel — busy and successful businessman why spend so much time on nearly crushed Kanna's hotel… believe he really genuine appreciation for Kanna. 

 

9. I'm sure that he didn't have romantic feelings toward her before ep 79, all he cared about was her pound cake lol (asked her to bring the pound cake every time they met and asked about who made that), also he asked about going to his hotel with her "liked person" ("previous visit to my hotel with him for dating purpose?" and "next time please try the visible spa if visit my hotel with him again") twice calmly so he only saw her as friend? 

Even in ep 79 I think CEO's suggestion "dating on the premise of marriage" is similar to blind date and could be interpreted as "CEO is fine / interested to know more about her and maybe fall in love with her later, but currently no romantic feelings toward her like saitou-sensei / love not as deep". It is because if that's romantic feelings he can confess anytime, why suggested marriage only after Kanna doubting her belief but not earlier? 

 

10. Oh CEO used an underhanded method he took advantage of Kanna being very sad and vulnerable when worrying about her hotel that she couldn't think rationally, to sell his suggestions "subsidiary / marriage"… 

 

11. Saitou-sensei disguised as food delivery staff really funny, normally is not a funny and playful person although he was not cool most of the time, just a shy quiet guy when sensei was immersed in love, and really cool when explaining why should keep distance from each other (ep 73)… anyways actually good timing physically rescued Kanna by interrupting CEO as she couldn't think straight whenever anything bad happen to her hotel probably would make wrong decisions.

 

12. "Sensei felt shocked about CEO proposed marriage earlier than him", yeah probably sensei already planned to marry her after graduation lol, tbh his explanation of keeping distance from each other for the sake of her (and other students') future, even considering about her future / plan which pretty much like a propose vow to marriage lol (just like the smut manga "want to be eaten by enokida", after the male lead discussed detailed future life plans with her the next episode was marriage lol). Meanwhile CEO is not a bad guy, but he's just similar to Watanabe, they want Kanna as their girlfriend simply because "I feel happy whenever hanging out with you", like puppy love not considering anything deep like think about lover's future.

 

13. I was surprised that sensei believed her so quickly without any suspicions, maybe it's different from that time with sakamaki because he didn't know why hang out with unknown handsome guy, but this time he knew about CEO and knowing her well can infer convincing conclusions which is “Kanna was after CEO for hotel improvements (which is also the truth)”. Plus it's convincing that Kanna didn't wear bathrobe ie. no sex and if people would take off commemorative pledge things like rings / gifts from spouse if they cheat on their spouse because they would feel guilty.

 

14. Well, at least CEO helped Kanna by she used those suggestions in hotel revival and as a test to sensei's faith in her, that he is not completely useless filler episodes materials.

(But cockblock against sensei sex desire + disclosed relationship in front of CEO then CEO would be more useful, really wondered how Kanna and sensei would introduce and call each other in front of outsiders, whether by surnames-san or first names showing closeness lol. I want such scene because Saitou-sensei is too careful in protecting their relationship. Or confrontation because took so long to build up CEO's character so that CEO could be comparable to sensei in a short time fighting about "can help her the most" vs "parents won't want you to sacrifice own feeling for hotel"). Potential wasted ugh but honestly understandable sensei just too careful avoid disclosure as much as possible won't want to risk again...

But I originally expected CEO would help her the most to the extent that I was afraid that sensei may feel inferior to the CEO, because logically CEO is a successful hotel businessman compared to saitou-sensei being a math teacher and Watanabe being a highschool student 😑, and sensei cannot help her but only in charge of comforting her or some campy kdrama like scolding her why cheated on him… but it seems that sensei would be the key of solving the crisis and CEO mainly in charge of kdrama parts? (well I originally expected sensei kdrama because ever since white day arc the direction taken was quite untraditional as a shoujo manga, eg. Suggestion of keeping distance but not yet finale & male lead disappeared for 5 episodes lol… and quite different from past arcs where sensei always helped her but it's the first time she kept secret from him) But it seems that it has gone back to typical shoujo manga lovey-dovey heartwarming route... 

But I also guessed correctly not long after the arc has started, I have said "if CEO not whom helped the most, then maybe it's 'the keyword of managing love hotels is couples so the key is Kanna and sensei as a couple to view the management, in order to let sensei to be involved in this arc' "

15. last time I said his first name is long and weird, hard to shorten to good nicknames showing intimacy (eg. tossy / takkun / hayato→ haya / torajirou → tora / Hiroshi → hiro), but he actually preferred no nicknames but traditional one ie. firstname-san, but now I think it's reasonable, he is a serious and shy guy not playful so no nicknames + significant age gap not suitable for "-kun". 

 

16. No wonder why Saitou-sensei not being careful as usual when kissing in the lift because he is so familiar with the setup of Kanna's hotel, he had visited there multiple times, at early stage to ensure her not to overwork, and later mainly discussions on management of her hotel... And that was proven correct that the CCTV didn't capture their kissing scene by sticking to corner of the blind spots of surveillance camera lol...

 

17. Oh so Saitou-sensei and CEO have similar tastes of considering simplicity as cute lol...

 

18. Kanna emphasized dress up well for dating and highlight the importance of Saitou-sensei saying taught heart-pounding things to her, oh good job Kanna displaying a decent and good girlfriend comforting him (before teacher's responsibility arc she was being immature multiple times...)

 

19. Actually I thought Saitou-sensei planned to not sex with Kanna although he even undressed her. The reasons are his thought of "I know I should quit going beyond that but..." and he chose a day that the day after wasn't a holiday for their hotel date. If having sex at night then probably sleep at a time which is really late and people can't wake up early, and next day being a holiday provides adequate time for that and no excuses could be used. 

But well, it's Kanna being cockblock again because of hotel improvements ideas suddenly come across her head, reasonable but if it was CEO as the cockblock then there would be more variety lol. Also, This time even undressed her..., don't torture him anymore, he has suppressed his sex drive many times 😭

 

20. I thought Saitou-sensei always initiate intimacy aggressively kiss without asking first, wouldn't Kanna feel uncomfortable, but surprisingly she loves deep kiss very much, maybe because she considers him losing his control as a way to express his love to her lol. And I have noticed that she backhugged him which was probably the first time that she initiated intimacy. 

Well there are reasons that she almost never initiate intimacy, at first she was not sure that whether he loves her because he tried hard to suppressed signs of affections toward her and she sensed that his desire of staying as a teacher so she was afraid to be turned down, also to match her personality of considerate not to trouble him and not to suddenly touch other's body without permission

 

21. Ep 84 the love hotel dating actually matched / responded the title! Really with teacher in love hotel after school! Kanna really — used her love hotel (not necessarily sex, some couples just to have lovey-dovey moments there, but at least way more common usage than to operate the hotel with somebody lol) — with her teacher (Saitou-sensei) — after school (skipped cram school)

 

Public exam arc: 

 

2. Saitou-sensei has teacher mode and private life mode available for switching, allowing him to separate thoughts and feelings cleanly, otherwise he might accidentally mix up things and forget his identity and their romance exposes to school.

His romance with Kanna belongs to private mode, she is only a student in teacher mode, so probably thats why he kinda forgot having girlfriend when turning down confessions from students by “teachers and students are of course impossible”. And not to forget that it take so long for him to admit his romantic feelings toward her lol.

 

3. Saitou-sensei was so stoic determined in the "teacher's responsibility" declaration, so I am relieved that he was less stoic right before entrance exam, allowing her to keep chatting with him and not scolding her for contacting him privately. Keeping good mood is better for exam lol.

 

4. I think Saitou-sensei implicitly confessed his love though the line "There were times when it was difficult, but I don't think it was a hardship (大変なこともありましたが苦労だとは思ってません)”. Takeuchi-sensei may interpret that the effort of helping Kanna from failing tests like in the beginning of manga which is 大変 to passing university entrance exam as 苦労. But Saitou-sensei probably refer complicated hotel crisisss that the couples had experienced as 大変, and "not 苦労" meant he didn't regret / hate / feel tortured being with her.

 

5. Saitou-sensei has been much more careful since the reveal to besties. Like he refused kissing Kanna in the empty staff room. Before that incident he often kissed her in the consultation room (ch. 118 & 122 & 141) LOL.

 

Beyond graduation / no longer current teacher-student relationship:

1. Good job for — a) phew I worried that Kanna still got used to call her boyfriend by "Saitou-sensei" fortunately they soon adapted to refer each other by first names "Kanna" "Haruomi-san", b) kept in touch right after graduation because I was worried that completely no contact until sensei gets things settled.

 

2. Sensei advised Kanna not to drink alcohol. From a smut perspective 😏, yeah he endured for 1.5 years experienced lots of difficult things with her been cockblocked by her many times he should be the one to take her virginity — it would be frustrating if a random one night stand guy who she doesn't even love to take her first time meanwhile he struggled so much...

 

3. Sensei became non-substitute homeroom teacher... Until recently I was worried that he is a very decent teacher who emphasize much on "teacher's responsibility" in which I wonder will he keep distance from each other again whenever he becomes homeroom teacher then poor Kanna... But it seems that he now has experience as homeroom teacher so he knows shortcuts / more efficient ways to reduce his burden, plus not in charge of final year ones is way less taxing, vs at that time he was new to homeroom teacher duties needed time to get familiar with + final year public exam super important + the class had his girlfriend in it so he needed to take that seriously for the sake of his girlfriend (which means even though he may be homeroom teacher of final year again in the future, he won't paid as much effort as before because not her class)

 

4. Kanna can finally be more carefree expressing desires of intimacy like normal couples 😭 and no need to worry that would be considered inconsiderate / immature, Sensei also expressed his love which is the lovey-dovey moments she wanted. Just like public exam episode where sensei became softer not blaming her being immature for calling him. teacher-student realationship before graduation really was a big obstruction 😭. Remember that in school trip / teacher's responsibility arc, sensei was pissed off by her SMS leakage to besties & the love fortune sheet & praying for him to rescue her & attention seeking accidents (wardrobe kiss & deer attack), heartbreaking and she need to endure/suppress her desires of intimacy being considerate and mature, uneasy for Kanna she was just a minor 😭 (well sensei struggle a lot as well 😅 painful for both actually). 

 

5. Valuable to see how Kanna introduce her hotel & relationship with sensei to outsiders (also the dating ie. ep 89 pale vibes just felt similar to many other shoujo manga, but it is necessary for showing how sensei no longer need to suppress his feelings, haha maybe because before grad the story developments were so unconventional — detailed struggles of teacher involved into teacher-student romance). I am relieved that unlike exposed to besties arc, she has become smarter and hid some truth of her hotel & how she and sensei became lovers to protect herself & sensei.

 

6. Kanna mentioned that if sensei didn't bring 'that' for sleepover but he replied "— no, I have brought...", probably he brought condoms but she was asking about toothbrush? Condom jokes 😂 a reverse to last time when they tried own hotel as lovers, she mistaken "that" as condoms but he was asking about her hotel notebook

 

7. Kanna already that anxious when sensei touched her neck and light kiss, maybe it was the consequence of keeping distance from each other / teacher's responsibility arc? Like I've mentioned before, sensei became more careful in grad ep. So does Kanna, she got used to his kiss esp deep ones since confession/hot spring trip arc not that nervous like now...

 

8. I was so frustrated after reading ep 90 and almost considered dropping this manga. I was disappointed because of no snu-snu yes, but what I was more furious about is that sensei promised not sex before graduation and now he broke the promise and superseded that with "not sex before marriage", like if this is the case why not say the latter in ep 50? Just like Kanna we anticipated snu-snu right after graduation. And no specified time of when they will get married unlike something like "graduation". As i stated before only indicate through dialogues ok what I care most is to confirm whether they ever have sex for pitiful sensei endured that much, no snu-snu illustrations is also ok.

 

9. Before graduation I always consider the mangaka gave super detailed yet reasonable explanation even for small details. Now there are several significant bugs: a) Can sensei really wait till university graduation / marriage? I doubt that base on his past record lol (gradually increased sex desire since white day until graduation) mangaka could write that but not reasonable lol. b) Professor Arai main study is management lol why would he know sensei? Sensei and Kanna major in very different field lol. Unless he taught sensei in General Education subjects (GE university compulsory requirements for well-roundedness of students allow picking < 4 subjects irrelevant to major) or he also taught basic maths subjects for both maths major and management major, or professor also in charge of university society that sensei was in 

 

10. Positive view 1: Fortunate that got to confirm not the most troublesome situation for snusnu? no sex before marriage is not even the most troublesome ones (because at least specified available after certain time), but is — virgins being too shy not dare to attempt anything unknown and always find excuse to drive away from snusnu atmosphere and if the boyfriends are too gentleman then omg dunno when will the girlfriends gain the bravery of having sex (that was the plot of an one shot teens love story I've read). At least Kanna gave consent to that just ask sensei to switch off the light although she was shy.

 

11. Positive view 2: at least gotta see how are their conversation right before almost sex (Kanna asked then sensei confirmed then she nodded) cockblock only appeared at the very last minute. Also their facial expressions were so smutty/sexy before the parents portrait cockblock (which seems so similar to teens love manga?). And how they initiated sexy acts like she asked while he did with playful / mischievous feelings. Now have much more solid info that I can imagine what their first night would look like. Btw have never seen virgins so anticipated with their first sex lol she looked at him with bling bling / kira kira 😂, but I think she's OK with sex but mostly view that as a way of intimacy / next phase in a relationship, not that she horny / wants that badly biologically)

 

 Marriage arc / sensei's notorious rumor as a lover:

 

— I think this arc is better than hotel revenue crisis arc although at first I found it unnecessary like at least I think hotel revenue crisis/CEO's arc useful long time no hotel need to link with the title and before grad, and was dissatisfied that continuation of stories cockblocked ep90 snusnu lol. Ever since teacher's responsibility arc the unexpected but plausible elaborations have won my heart and thought back his struggles ever before that, I love how it was unconventional teacher-student or even shoujo manga — I am a bit disappointed about CEO's arc turned out to be common plotline of let's try out the hotel together to overcome with the crisis lol, meanwhile I think oh information asymmetry & Kanna blaming herself not confident in herself enough therefore feeling insecure even tho sensei expressed his feelings & now linked what mentioned long ago the death of his parents had been trauma making him suddenly became cold during dating... are all unexpected & unconventional and make me love the manga so much again....

Maybe this arc is necessary too (but they can still snusnu in ep90 first 😫 because already grad) knowing past of each other thoroughly before marriage, and such plot about trust / rumors couldn't be happened before grad because shared the same setup 

 

0. Phew at least it was not the worst scenario that Prof Arai gonna deduce that they infringed a taboo (teacher-student romance since still in same school) report to education bureau and ruin sensei's career/license. And also finally gotta see how Saitou-sensei refer himself and Kanna to outsiders (ie. How he called Kanna) 

➡️"revealing sensei's bad past like he was a playboy / hurting a lot of girls" was my guess last time and bingo.

 

1. orz, even the act of "making the plot dramatic little bit forcibly thus feels a bit unreasonable / less natural" was so Amy Wong behavior omg 😂. Now I know why not making Kanna move into sensei's apartment, was to increase Kanna's insecurities and crisis. But still the depiction of "Kanna at first decided to move away and live alone" was so unnecessary, and only lasted for 3 episodes🙃. In a normal sense: the couples are so busy (sensei homeroom teacher & Kanna university society) and they tried so hard to find a time slot for dating, so why not suggest living together instead (Just like smut mangas enokida-senpai ones and minami-senpai ones where their pushy besties couples help pushing their progress suggesting living together, hey the university friends Chizuru & Hinata do something plz)  

 

2.  Please don't blame Chizuru & Hinata for having plans to make the couple break up in case anything suspicious was spotted. Indeed it was the information asymmetry. What Kanna lied to them was she & sensei only became lovers since graduation so they perceived their relationship was only a few months, plus the rumors of his past romantic relationships not lasting long, and they didn't know the facts that they overcame multiple hurdles, so it was just overprotection, they just cared Kanna so much wanna protect her from being hurt with good intentions indeed. (Side track a little bit, usually the closest ones are female besties for girls, but for Kanna excluding sensei actually it was Watanabe, because he knew both "the couple was teacher-student romance" and "Kanna manages a love hotel", but her besties only knew the former and didn't know how the hotel crisis was related to the couples like Yui's arc.)

But the information asymmetry may lead to dilemma for Kanna. She shouldn't tell Chizuru & Hinata about the truth which is dating before graduation, she knew them not long enough so if they were overly "righteous" (like Yui who misunderstood things) they may report and ruin sensei's career... But then if she interrogates him about the notorious rumors, wouldn't it be contradicting to what sensei loved her that much ie. being considerate? Also that would show distrust towards him, it would be so sad considering he trusted her even when she went to hotel garnet with the CEO. But honestly she should trust him because they faced a lot of hurdles together 😅😂, and also they have been lovey-dovey for more than 1.5 years long enough probably the longest one in his love affairs history←unless I am informed about 1.5 years is still considered as short as his past records 🤨🙃? Moreover, I guess she is different from his ex-girlfriends — probably most of the latter chased after & confessed to the passive sensei meanwhile he chased after & confessed to her 😂 (while she was the passive one there just kept being considerate but never pushy / initiate intimacies).

 

3. Even if Kanna believe the rumor completely reasonable.  Sidetrack a bit. I've read a best selling smut manga "脳イキしてみる?~" (Ep. 14) where the FL told ML that rather than believing rumors from others she would listen to his words, trust him and not gonna ask the details instea, female readers highly praised FL's behavior (why I sound like off topic lol) exclaimed that it is a stupid idea to believe bad rumors from other regarding their boyfriends. But I don't agree with such statement tbh, is that an advocation of blindly believing boyfriends where there are possibilities that they are womanizers / scum, or white lies no longer bad guys but hiding their past not wanna hurt them? It would be valid only under the condition of a FL know ML long enough and analyse thoroughly about past records which she observed. So that's why sensei trusted her even in the CEO arc, he knew her before her first hangout with boy (her love affairs only him and Watanabe) and she was so easy to read (care so much about the hotel). I think Kanna's worries are reasonable, she didn't know his past love affairs maybe others know more about him (esp Prof Arai is professor much credibility) and his history was much longer.

 

4. Rationally I appreciate the rationale behind Kanna decision of entry to beauty pageant which was quite uncommon yet made much sense (insecurity caused by unconfident in self wanna be better person so as to be qualified to stand along with lover ⬅️ eh little bit resemblence of the separation decision in "The spiral of Love and Lust" tbh; Also he already proved himself a good guy for a long time during their relationship so she really should trust him despite rumor), at least it is better than depicting she showing distrust toward him which may lead to Saitou-sensei thinking she was inconsiderate that I would really hate, or love rival / ex-girlfriend appears lol. Rationally appreciate that just like the information asymmetry. 

 

6. I was less upset after being convinced by the aforementioned rationale, but I was still very furious about... Even if he was kind enough to forgave her being depressed about little time together but not thinking her as inconsiderate, and even suggested living together, yet she refused that?! And, It was so difficult to win beauty pageant lol she has never been depicted as super attractive lol, what if she didn't win the contest?  

 

7. Let me evaluate how was Kanna's mentions about the rumors to sensei. I think it would be better if she didn't tell him that she felt insecure just after witnessing he chat with ladies even though he have told her about his feelings, that just sounded a bit inconsiderate...? But the good points are, she mentioned that her entry to beauty pageant was to improve confidence in herself so as to no longer become not insecure towards him; and also she jokingly said not quite likely he would be cold which implicitly showed she won't believe in bad rumors and showed distrust to him easily, good job!

 

8. And well maybe I was too strict towards Kanna lol (Can't help, because in terms of logic, "Kanna being considerate" began the whole story that made sensei fell in love with her even risked his teacher license, if the very beginning got denied / such image was ruined then the whole developments afterwards all got denied / invalidated as well, just like dominos ⬅️ Mathematical Induction 😂). Because I focused on sensei when reading this manga (as he is the character with much more struggles & multidimensional), and i have imagined him to be too perfect lol but well actually plausible sensei also insecure as he has gotten jealous multiple times before and he has casual moments in their first few datings, it would be double standard for him to consider Kanna inconsiderate while he got jealous for multiple times. And at least that's what made Kanna changed her mind of not living together if not win the beauty pageant, thinking both shared similar feelings yet both anxious because seldom meet lol. So sensei being imperfect not completely bad things lol. 

 

9. My guess is half correct, maybe he was easygoing but not love girls deeply because too handsome had made girls chase after him unlike he chased after Kanna, just like Enokida-senpai (read ep. 14 his past) thus unenthusiastic in maintaining relationships, but then the reason why he became cold has much deeper reasons because of his trauma of death of parents...

 

10. In structure aspect, Errr... Ep93 is boring lol, feel like all the good things leave to Ep94 lol (explanation about notorious rumor & marriage proposal). So I think if Ep94 would not be released so soon after ep93 but normal 1 month intervals then fans will riot lol, because actually sensei explanation on his notorious rumors was featured in the teasers of Ep94, instead of starting to explain that in the last few pages of Ep93, despite the text spoilers for last 8 pages of Ep93 being "sensei talked about the truth of the rumor" lol, fortunately teasers of Ep94 released on the same day as Ep93. Meanwhile being informed about Ep94 even before overseas release of Ep93 pretty killed the mood/anticipations towards it lol, originally I'm just fine if they agreed to live together if not gonna snusnu in the near future but now that I know he would propose to her... Maybe that's why ep94 released so soon after ep93 ?😂

 

11. Kanna's response evaluation time Part 2!    👍🏻 She was so good at asking questions provoking sensei's thoughts and showed her gentleness & maturity / understanding & considerateness in the first half (asking about his past — whether he felt the same towards her & analysed his mindset, plausible changes & theories that he had never thought about).   😓 Wasn't she pushy in the 2nd half aka questions about marriage proposal...? Fortunately he didn't think she was immature/inconsiderate... (dude I was really too strict towards Kanna...) But well sensei suppressed himself multiple times he had incredible endurance, I am not sure whether he might wait til university graduation for marriage proposal if she didn't ask 🙃 or planned to propose right after "wanna live together with me?" Same logic for going to bed... Also he didn't seemed to have plans for telling her about his love fortune prayer if Kanna didn't ask he not gonna tell..., same logic I guess. And well it was understandable to me for "confusions caused by implicit signs" So I wouldn't say she shouldn't ask because sensei was too passive may need some push otherwise he may not have the plans...

 

12. I originally expected that sensei will propose in a touching way right after explaining his past mindsets without Kanna's questions (sharing about his past, then telling her it's not fine without her but living alone now). But it seemed like he didn't think much about his past mindsets even after sharing them to her 🙃. So, surprisingly THE marriage proposal episode turned out to be funny?! 😑😅😓 But well, tho no touching proposal we got depictions of considerate Kanna analysing his mindsets so it's not bad after all...

 

13. Really pleasantly surprised that they married so soon... Btw I've googled they're not going for 事実婚 but really married lawfully because they have submitted documents to marriage registry, which means Kanna will become "Saitou Kanna" 😭 (well there was possibility of sensei taking her surname tho for hotel sake's but less likely...) (My fav smut mangas also have such depiction of taking husband's surname, the form has the box of "husband's surname" ticked / ML or FL mentioned, ugh this manga didn't zoom the form)... 

 

The Final Episode: 

 

1. Watanabe was so father like lol when putting the veil onto Kanna, praising her with kind/gentle eye contact. And I like the dynamics between sensei and Watanabe lol just like ep 79 or the intern arc they cared and approved/forgave each other aka respectable rival because they knew each other well

 

2. LoL so sensei schemed and executed a plan in order to matchmake Hinata-kun and Chizuru, in order to keep love rival (Hinata-kun) away from Kanna? That jealousy 

 

3. Hmm I was not that interested in their replies during the wedding reception tho, because unlike the photoshoot session they couldn't say things  as freely as they want / without concern because they've so many secrets. The photoshoot ones was touching tho. 

 

4. So during the photoshoot preparation what Kanna intended to say was probably — she was not that perfect aka the girl who selflessly cherish her parents (and the hotel) but motivated to work hard partially with selfish reasons aka because sensei was there for her. Btw, I love how sensei said came to marriage thanks to their relationship was teacher-student, shout to-out to the theme of this manga.

 

5. I am very satisfied with the ending (snusnu & touching conversation when they were alone), 2nd fav arc after "teacher's responsibility arc", thanks Utsugi Yua -san (the mangaka) for the best teacher-student romance & my 2nd fav manga in smut&shoujo category! 

  • 人間の闇を描いた作品 (つまり、暗い物語) は大好物です、常に理性思考する自信がある
  • しかしエロな事も好きのでティーンズラブ漫画も沢山読んだ... 大好物ではないけど
  • 普段は少女漫画読まない、感情移入とかドキドキしたいとかは一切しない
  •  
  • 好きなドラマ:DOCTORS 最強の名医、アンナチュラル など;Amy Wong's trilogy (Destination nowhere & Daddy cool & Secret Door (2023) ), the forgotten valley (the one with Raymond & Grace), Ghetto Justice, The Menu (2015), etc…;時間があれば Blackmirror とかが読みたい 😫
  •  
  • 好きなアニメ: 魔法少女まどかマギカ > プリティーリズム・レインボーライブ (色々な家族の問題を描いた!) & デジモンユニバース アプリモンスターズ (結末は神! 敵ボスはただの悪いキャラではなく、人間の未来の為です、ただ理念は道徳的に間違っているだけ) > プリパラ 1st & 2nd シーズン & アイカツスターズ;時間があれば 地獄少女、僕らの。、コードギアス、進撃の巨人、Fate/stay night などが読みたい😫
  •  
  • 好きな少女漫画・ティーンズラブ漫画 (物語として):愛と欲望の螺旋 (人間の闇 & 家族の問題を描いたTLです!)、「放課後、ラブホで、先生と。」(教師生徒恋愛モノにて一番まともな教師です! 葛藤とか教師の責任の重大さからの距離を置い決断) はツートップ & ダントツ です >>>>> 私はおかず先輩に食べられたい。> オネエ系ヤクザに毎晩溺愛されてます > 問題アリな先輩の愛し方 >> ほか 

(好きなティーンズラブ漫画 エロ目的なら、一番好きな作品は 「鬼上司が教え込む、喘げば喘ぐほど気持ちいい溺愛SEXに完全に堕とされました。」 です、その人物設定はいの好きみです、超真面目ヒーロー × 真面目ヒロイン × 恥ずかしい出会い)

 

「放課後、ラブホで、先生と。」作品全話の総合感想... (詳しいのレビューはこちら & あちら)

この神作、キュン目的!って方は回れ右した方が良い。普段の少女漫画ではない、ほのぼのドキドキハラハラ甘いラブコメと間違しないで。先生目線からはずっと教師として vs 男としての気持ちが葛藤した (最初は本当に同情から手伝う→90話までは教師だから恋だと認めたくないだから当然素直になれない→恋の為に教師を辞め vs 両立したい→結ばれたい欲望 vs 担任代理の責任の重さ バランス崩れた 距離を置い決断) 少し切ない物語です。キュンキュンだらけだけではないて良かった、シリアスな展開もあり。恋を落ちた理由も納得、柑奈はいい子過ぎ


以下、よくある誤解 (✕と表記) & 私の見解 (⭕と表記)


✕間延び/テンポ悪い/ループ/進展ない、特に修学旅行編以降

⭕ ゆっくりでも、無駄な展開は1話もない、意味あり
修学旅行編(付き合い初めはイチャシーン沢山ので?): 受験生の担任の責任の重さを意識した (ユリカから教えた) + 結ばれたい欲望上げた (クローゼットの話 ∴純愛ではない)→距離を置いた、これって私にとって1番神回、他の 先生生徒恋愛物にはない の 教師ずっと葛藤 & まともな教師 & 公に (表情&行動に滲みないと気使い抑す & 皆公平に接する 贔屓ない) 気持ちを隠す辛い努力の教師、先生生徒恋愛物の中1番の作品だと思いた

社長編: 題名がラブホ有るので久しぶりに述べべき 先生との恋話だけじゃない & 柑奈への信頼を測る & 距離を置い後のお互いの対応の変化

大学編/先生の噂/トラウマ編: 結婚前の準備はお互いの過去を知るべき & 先生への信頼を測る


✕ 鹿に襲われた話、ピンチ有る時先生助けたパターンはもういい

⭕ 本当の見所は「呼んた来てくれた嬉しい」を聞いた後先生の反応 (歯ぎしり怒り、イチャ求むの柑奈に対して。いつも思いやりのある女と思いのに最近はない)。救けた事本身ではなく


✕ 良い雰囲気になってはムードをぶち壊す & 拒否
⭕ 卒業前にエッチしたら絶対職を失う


✕ 突然一線越えた
⭕ 恋心は上げ易い、卒業まで待って/軽に抑すできる物ではない

✕ キス以上の事は理性で抑え!
⭕ そんな気軽に抑え物ではない、辛いよ先生。結ばれ欲望は蛇口を開け閉めみたいにはっきり消えものではない

『放課後、ラブホで、先生と。』私にはおすすめ度は★★★★★です! みんな、ごめんなさい、私は日本語が苦手なので、以下のレビュー・感想を全て英語で書き込みする。(えっと...実は私は英語を母語とする人ではないけど...) (長文ごめん、1.3万文字数近い...) 
 
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(I think actually this story is centered around Saitou-sensei rather than Kanna lol. Also I like how their relationship isn't discovered by others, no need lectures about oppositions of such romance lol) 
 
I normally don't read shoujo manga, but I am interested in forbidden love genre like teacher-student romance because this requires authors to give convincing reasons why the teachers still risk to cross the border / moral bans to engage with students other than pedophilia the sex drives / excitement. So far, this manga is one of the very few which satisfies my requirements and required me to think about why they fell in love lol. Also, Saitou-sensei's heartbreaking realization of responsibility won me over.  In addition, this manga stated the inequality toward teachers in such relationship lol.
 
Please, teachers are not emotionless marionettes / robots, as long as they don't have pedophilia not attracted to all minors, not affecting their professionalism in teaching (ie. to be fair to every students not biasing their lover when grading their work) and both really have romantic feelings for each other but not including threatening or cheating etc then I'm fine lol. (Well, I do agree it would be even better for teachers to apply for stop teaching the class where their lovers are in but to teaching other classes instead, or even switch to other school, or quit being a teacher)
 
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● Well, Saitou-sensei ranted the inequality in teacher-student romance — teachers need to be always careful hiding affection by facial and behavior and fair treatment to all students not biasing their lovers, while there are no consequences for students showing affection to teachers. 
 
● I like how the ethics / rationality vs feelings been executed here. Actually Saitou-sensei can choose keeping both — minimum effort in teaching while dating Kanna, but… He realized that as a homeroom teacher substitute (since chapter 189, 1 year before kanna's graduation), having a trustworthy teacher is the most important thing for students preparing public exams which are important to their future so he asked kanna to keep distance from each other. Unlike being an undercover / lovers from enemy countries, which actually no need hesitation, for the former case there are law requiring undercover to sacrifice / cheat romance for justice, while the latter case it depends, if lovers would be sentenced to death once discovered / they are nationalists then of course they should choose rationality rather then love, but otherwise if they can flee + not that enthusiastic about nationalism like me they can choose love instead. ✴️ the most pitiful ML I've ever seen lol. Unlike other manga that they can choose go overseas physical separation to keep distance with their lovers for the sake of lovers' future (like "The spiral of love and lust") where they miss each other but no need to suppress their affection, he basically sees kanna every weekday yet he understands that he need to suppress both his affection at school & sex drive toward her. 
 

➡️ what contributed to his decision? Summary: bus guide telling him most important is having trustworthy homeroom teachers than any advices (ch 202) + wardrobe kiss realizing sex desire reached critical point almost failed to suppress (ch 207) + pissed off by how inconsiderate kanna was after hearing she prayed for his rescue which was over reliance thought she attention seeking adding burden to his work along with wardrobe kiss (ch 213)

 
● for fictional stories about forbidden love there should be convincing reasons why those people risk their career to fall in love with forbidden targets, unlike normal romantic relationships people can fall in love for simple reasons such as the lovers are beautiful, with good personalities… for teacher-student romance it is necessary to prove the students are unique / great enough for the teachers risk their career not choosing adults over them as their lovers (for instance, not having bad parts of adults. And if too mature why not choose adults instead, but if also love bad sides of minors that would be really pedophilia…) . I think this manga gave convincing reasons. (Well, any stories providing family problems as the backgrounds of the characters automatically raise my impression about the stories, like "pretty rhythm rainbow live" and "the spiral of love and lust"…)
 
➡️ Why Saitou-sensei loves Kanna? ① She is so considerate to others, always prioritizes worrying about others' feelings than her own feelings (especially right before confession, which I would discuss about that later), sympathy, blames herself even when she was not the one at fault, also innocence + sincerity unlike some adults who are selfish + inconsiderate (chapter 79 Saitou-sensei compared intern teacher iwasaki with kanna, he always turn down confessions to prevent complicating things and feels headache whenever girls confess to him), while she doesn't have bad side of minors (although at first she always yearn for intimacy because of loneliness, but after his explanation she was grateful for him sacrificing his current happiness for her future and agreed to keep distance from each other. Not aggressive, emotionally demanding lovers, childish or pushy.). ② he sympathized her situation, both of them have parents died when they were still in high-school but he never liked his tiger parents that much while kanna working so hard to cherish her parents' memory and become so happy when the hotel was praised as if her own joy and always want to make others happy which are dazzling to him. (Examples for point 1 are chapter 24 & 75 & 79 & 87 & 108 & 35 · 131 & 152 & 168 & 183 & 213 & 221. Side notes he didn't witness but also 20 & 29 & 51 & 77 & 135. For point 2 that would be 104 & 107 & 171→132 & 224)
 
➡️ Why Kanna loves Saitou-sensei? ① High-school students are legally banned from working in such workplaces (although moral for cherish memories of parents), not only he turned a blind eye to that but even risked his license to help her, she compared him with her childhood friends who left her because of discrimination of her connection to the love hotel. ② she love how he always care about her future like his realization of responsibility, also he often give advices about management issue of hotel + future career plan, examples are chapter 25 & 49 & 61 & 66 & 111 & 188 & 201. ③ He hit the nail about kanna never thought about what her dream truly is because she was so selfless and at first she didn't planned to go to university but he told her not to limit her possibility not bad to gain some life experiences before coming back to the hotel (chapter 106), which was a huge turning point of her life lol, just like a life mentor. ✴️ Originally had secret crush toward him and she saw much more private sides of him casually chatted outside of school unlike other students so she accidentally kissed him when she was sleepy… 
 
 
● I feel like this story actually centered around Saitou-sensei instead of kanna lol (I like it, especially cool MLs), while shoujo manga mostly center around fl for self insertion purpose. He originally tried his best to avoid falling in love with students by claiming that he is nice to all students to stop misunderstandings and helped kanna just for improving her grades under Takeuchi sensei's pressure + sympathised her because similar to his childhood that both of them have parents died when they're in high-school ➡️ but then he didn't want to act / suppress his true personality after school in his voluntary work at the love hotel showed more private sides & she kissed him while he was sleeping he mistaken that was dream caused him paying more attention to her ➡️ then he discovered her nice points then confess to her and wanted to quit school because he irresistibly loves her (also he became teacher because of parents also teachers, it's not like it's his dream job huge sense of commitment etc so it's understandable that before that he wanted to quit several times) ➡️ then finally he asked her to keep distance from each other avoid private meeting prevent being alone with each other until graduation because of his realization of responsibility as a teacher the increased burden at work as a homeroom teacher substitute (also because he was alerted about his increasing sex desire towards kanna yet he knew he shouldn't have sex with her before her graduation, ie. confession successfully suppress→white day licked her neck→colleagues forced him to drink alcohol then hiding in wardrobe being drunk he put his hand inside her clothes touched her bare skin of her back right before being kicked out) (Symbolized by his reaction to love fortune sheet — at first he thought she cute enlightened him ch. 201, during their confrontation he scolded her with emphasis of "I don't need it")… meanwhile, kanna doesn't have as drastic growth as him, from the very beginning (first 12 chapters) she already had romantic feelings for him & always yearn for intimacy because of loneliness, only very recently she learned to show care and love verbally instead of physical intimacy as their connection and no longer feel lonely because she thought they work towards the same goal together.✴️ by the way, reasonable for people carrying drunk people to love hotels for safety, also sensible that he asked about why she was so dedicated to part-time after she always looked exhausted even collapsed, plus it's quite convincing that he decided to volunteer because not every teacher would help keeping such illegal thing as secret + need someone to do the work for her immediately to ensure she won't overwork herself. kanna also probably guessed saitou-sensei didn't report her matter to school meant he isn't that strictly stick to rules but allow gray area so she dare to tell the truth to him. Their romance aren't started by pure coincidence like Kawahara's.
 
● I like how this manga combine 2 things that are moral / can be sympathised yet illegal / rule breaking lol, like minors are not allowed to work in love hotel especially that is midnight shift, and also teachers would be fired once they are found dating with students lol.
 
————
● Congrats to Saitou-sensei successfully suppressed his sex drive before kanna's graduation lol, because he was depicted as smart & careful & very decent teachers with considerations of teacher's responsibility. Aside from teacher's ethic of protecting the sexuality of minors, if Kanna gets pregnant before graduation would be a solid proof of exposing their relationships & invalidate all his past endeavours of hiding signs of affections & suppressing sex desire and vastly interferes her career planning, so he's a smart guy, also it seems that Kanna doesn't have much sex desire (she thought many people would have sex after confession she's OK with that but mostly view as a way of intimacy, not that she wants that badly biologically). Plus, I'm not sure are there any law banning manga depicting sex with minors so don't expect hot smut scene before kanna's graduation…
 
● I feel bad for Saitou-sensei lol he knew he shouldn't have sex with her before her graduation so he basically suppressed his sex desire multiple times (backward yukata & confession & white day & wardrobe drunk & go to rival love hotel for investigation and heard some erotic sound of foreplay can't wait) what a mental torture to his sanity, luckily kanna is such a cockblock. (Btw, I as a girl can relate his situation much, know how harsh to suppress both emotions and sex desire… well it's because I had sex drive since high-school too no private room + no $ to use sex toy + bad masturbation skills, and I need to act cool at school too)
 
● Side notes, this is not the case of this manga, but my opinions are, although adults having sex with minors are banned morally, but if both lovers have serious sex drive then the moral ban is too cruel (well, can't help, in reality use sex toys as substitutes instead). IMO, any relationship where both have mature mind + really love each other + ✗involve threatening or cheating the minors shouldn't be banned, even if incest. By mature mindsets I mean high-school students with precocious mind do exist lol, if they know about consequences of teen pregnancy, what romantic love is and the meaning of sex in a relationship…Those romances aren't the problem, but teen pregnancy is. But even so they can choose go back to school once the babies are born and leave the child for parents to take care of until graduated from university, not necessarily ruins the life of the teenager completely like what "Ichigo no gakkou" has stated. P.S. I was also a precocious teenager, during high-school, I already supported antinatalism (mainly because of multiple social issues) with 2000+ words analysis and I supported abortion too base on my thoughts of what defines respectable human socially. 
 
————
Some analysis of key parts of the plot… 
 
● kanna not dare to confess to saitou-sensei, I guess the reason is she sensed he meant to be teacher not lover, also she sympathised people who has their confession turned down by others, and he is too good in suppressing his affection (facial and behavior) lol.
 
● realization of responsibility: ① To stop kanna from creating opportunities / enticing him to have intimacy with him. ② kanna must agree keeping distance from each other to match her usual personality of being considerate as usual — that's what exactly he loves her for even risk losing his license & he suggested that for the sake of all students & she should sympathise how harsh for him to suppress his feelings. ③ Saitou-sensei did a good job in explaining about that, especially he told kanna about he still loves her, as she yearn for intimacy because of loneliness and insecurity about their relationship. Also it is kanna who relies sensei too much, unlike "the spiral of love and lust" in which ml was both the one who relied on his lover too much and the one who has realization of responsibility. So saitou-sensei must communicate with kanna well. ④ He shouldn't suggest break up because that would hurt her emotionally and even affects her grades, like yurika the bus guide has shared to him about the teacher she loved had tossed her aside sighed "not all teachers are dependable", also in chapter 177 he didn't want to break up even though their relationship was exposed to her besties, plus he wants to protect her pureness. 
 
● right before confession: Kanna was too considerate. She always prioritizes others' feelings then her own ones, but this time Saitou-sensei abused that for selfish reasons and it is the first time that she hurt herself by considering others' feelings. Saitou-sensei meant to be teacher but want intimacy like lovers, she was angry and confused that he claimed himself as her teacher yet kissed her, that it was completely reasonable for her to want more special treatments that she perceived him having feelings for her, yet she decided to act like she didn't mind about that even blame her own feelings as selfish and apologize to him acting as "purely grateful student" that he wanted, said she should be grateful for the reward and that was enough she knew he cared for her and had mental conflicts.
 
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For those who didn't read this manga, some key info: 
 
- Saitou-sensei originally just a maths teacher, only after their original homeroom teacher was injured due to accidents he was temporary appointed as homeroom teacher substitute.
 
- during the school trip, he and Kanna hid in a wardrobe together because another teacher was chasing after suspicious Kanna who wanted to study and make some notes about inn but accidentally ran to the teacher's dormitories and he helped her. No sex but just some hot kiss scene, she kicked him out of the wardrobe right after he put his hand inside her clothes touched the skin of her back because she put escapement to sneak back to her room as first priority than intimacy. 
 
P.S. shoujo manga mostly not the right place to search for works with meaningful & provoking messages / humanity conflicts (which I love), but for romance stories, I am interested in forbidden love genre which includes some mental conflicts. I seldom read shoujo manga because I don't need self insertion into fl for fantasies lol actually I hate that very much, I can't vibe with those detailed description of romantic thoughts and I prefer cold rational characters (eg. Homura Akemi)… 
 
Side notes, like this manga, "the spiral of love and lust" ("Ai to Yokubou no Rasen", not shoujo manga actually but teen's love) also actually centered around ml instead of fl despite detailed description of romantic thoughts of the fl. Basically about how ml became lifeless bad person because of guilt about mistakened himself killed his mother who threatened ml to involve into incest with her and how he later been rescued by fl who wanted to be strongly needed and sympathise + accepted his past (so she forgave ml who at first r@ped her and even influenced ml to forgive his mother, convincing reason. She later fell in love with ml), and the last chapter literally has ml reflected his doing in detail, and fl felt jealous about how ml originally want to protect his twins brother who later betrayed him.