tired of how you message me the same thing every friday,
of how I actually stupidly spend the week waiting for the message
of how I reply so happily
of how you don't reply back
of how you message the same thing again the next friday
and of how the cycle continues on and on and on and on. It has to have been like this for at least 2 months.
Nothing is going to come out of it, it's not even a proper conversation, I don't even know if we're still friends. I hate wasting my time and feeling so stupidly sad and pathetic. I don't want to be affected by this anymore, and I've decided to try not to let myself get affected. i can do this.
I have cold feet. There's only one course and one place I want to go to, and I don't know if I can make it in. But if I don't, I don't know what I can do because I can say alot of big words but actually doing it according to plan B is going to be very agonizing, and very saddening. I wish I were more flexible and have more open options.
