it's xargs -2ページ目

it's xargs

Just my opinions, take care of yourself while reading it

Intrusive thoughts

What is that?

Put simply,

they are unwanted thoughts

They are really disturbing

I've read books about it

And trying to recover

yes

I feel better now

 

I had extreme intrusive thoughts

some months ago

They are really disturbing

I couldn't study at all at that time

It is like

I don't like my thoughts

Because they are disturbing

Like

Thought about putting my eyes out

Thought about stabbing myself/someone with knife

It indeed looks really impossible

But at that time I was stupid

I took all of my thoughts seriously

Like they will be a reality if I don't get rid of them

But paradoxically

They come back

and disturb me more

I was almost crazy at that time

 

Now

It is more lighter

I can tolerate them

and not taking them seriously

Thanks to God and the book I've read

Still there are some anxieties

caused by my intrusive thoughts

Like the one in my right hand right now

I feel like, my index finger's nail

gonna break

and blood gonna come out of it

Everytime I write something and study

I always have this thought

somehow I haven't tolerated this thought..

and in my right leg's knee

It feels like it gonna punch into my right eye

 

I'm trying to handle this