MPA [My Pro Ana] has been one of the largest hubs for eating disordered discussion since I opened its forums in about 2014.
Preceeded by "anorexic nation" and other similar forums it is one of the few still running, allbeit poorly. The forums is rotting and the admins are leaving or seemingly unable to fix the in built issues to the forum infastructure.
So I have decided to start at the beguinning and wade through the various thread from the start while I still can. If I find anything particulaly interesting I snap screens shots, take noted and post about them here.
The following was the diet of Caroline Kettlewell, author of "Skin Game" which chronicled her experiences with anorexia and N.S.S.I. Acording to the memoir Kettlewell follow this system of eating for years until recovering.
it was nice the way her pelvic bones rose like sharp hills on either side of her stomach. I love bones. Bones are beautiful.” ― Steven Levenkron, The Best Little Girl in the World
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“Sick equaled thin and thin got me noticed. Being noticed made me feel loved.” ― Jennifer Pastiloff, On Being Human: A Memoir of Waking Up, Living Real, and Listening Hard
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"Anorexia is not limited to the desire that certain young girls have to resemble the models, increasingly thin it is true, which invade the pages of women's magazines.Fasting is a powerful and inexpensive drug, we often forget to say that.The state of undernutrition anesthetizes the pain, the emotions, the feelings, and functions, initially like a protection."
― Delphine de Vigan, Rien ne s'oppose à la nuit
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"I hate the fact they think they know what I will eat, and what I won’t. I am an adult! They even buy me rice cakes. I don’t like it that they know that I eat rice cakes. It was my secret.” ― Grace Bowman, Thin
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"It's like a stomach ache after not eating for five days. The muscles are starting to eat themselves, and you couldn't care less. "
— Charlotte Eriksson, Empty Roads & Broken Bottles; in search for The Great Perhaps
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“The idea of being able to become so thin as to be invisible gave her a pleasant pang in the stomach” ― Paolo Giordano, The Solitude of Prime Numbers
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“Wraithlike girls with perilous clavicles drifted through the room, their footsteps mere whispers against the dark wooden boards.” ― Amanda Webster, The Boy Who Loved Apples
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“Well-meaning people in my life have suggested I should buck up and fight it. To them I gently say, I have been fighting my body for decades now and I am beyond tired.” ― Michelle Stewart, Shell: One Woman’s Final Year After a Lifelong Struggle with Anorexia and Bulimia
“The only number that would ever be enough is 0. Zero pounds, zero life, size
zero, double-zero, zero point. Zero in tennis is love. I finally get it.” ― Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls
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“During a warm winter rain ... the basins of her collarbones collected water.” ― Jeffrey Eugenides, The Virgin Suicides
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"I am forever engaged in a silent battle in my head over whether or not to lift the fork to my mouth, and when I talk myself into doing so, I taste only shame. I have an eating disorder.” ― Jena Morrow, Hollow: An Unpolished Tale
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"I want to eat like a normal person eats, but I need to see my bones or I will hate myself even more and I might cut my heart out or take every pill that was ever made.” ― Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls
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Look in a mirror and find a ghost. Hear every heartbeat scream that everysinglething is wrong with you. "Why?" is the wrong question. Ask "Why not?” ― Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls
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“We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need.” ― Marya Hornbacher, Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia
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“[Eating disorders] are a wonderful tool for helping you reject others before they can reject you. Example: You're at a party. The popular girls are there. You know you can never be as cool as they are, but when one of the pops a potato chip into her mouth or chooses real Coke over Diet, for that moment you are better” ― Stacy Pershall
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“How silly people were to eat. They thought they needed food for energy, but they didn't. Energy came from will, from self-control.” ― Steven Levenkron, The Best Little Girl in the World
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“She ran her hands over her body as if to bid it good-bye. The hipbones rising from a shrunken stomach were razor-sharp. Would they be lost in a sea of fat? She counted her ribs bone by bone. Where would they go?” ― Steven Levenkron, The Best Little Girl in the World
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“Every time a girl refuses to eat, she one-ups Eve.” ― Jennifer Traig, Devil in the Details: Scenes from an Obsessive Girlhood
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“She began to be reassured by these pains, tangible symbols of her success in becoming thinner than anyone else. Her only identity was being "the skinniest." She had to feel it.” ― Steven Levenkron, Kessa
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as if a hundred appetites were raging out of control within her. She couldn't explain it, but she felt as if everything was in chaos and something awful was going to happen. She had eaten and now something terrible would occur.” ― Steven Levenkron, The Best Little Girl in the World
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“Anorexia is not an illness of the body; it is an illness of the mind.” ― Lynn Crilly, Hope with Eating Disorders
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“Anorexia isn't about being fat, it's about having fat.” ― Caroline Kettlewell, Skin Game
