The daytime is getting longer. Plum flowers are blooming. Looking outside the window, spring is surely coming.
I went to the hospital for a follow-up the other day for the first time in six months.
I don't feel at ease at the hospital. I guess no one does. Especially after going through such series of distressful experiences two years ago. My body reacts honestly. A few days or a week before the checkup date, I always start losing weight even though I eat quite normally. On the very day, my heart keeps pounding fast and once my number was shown on the display of the waiting board, I always feel a rush of anxiety and nervousness rise up. To save myself out of this tight corner, I take with me some items that can soothe my nerves and distract me from the reality I'm in; two books, a magazine, a radio, some tea, and some sweets. Those make my backpack heavy to carry aronud though. I find listening to the radio as the best distraction. I can feel the situation I'm facing right now is not everything. Second comes writing in English, which uses so much concentration that I don't need to spare a lot of attention to my surroundings. In addition to those ways, I wish there were TV in the waiting space or I could talk to other people. See how nervous I get! ha ha ha!