trust
moouuu...
what did i do?
that toilet paper story was months ago. october? november? she's still thinking about it? taking pictures? and writing about it? still jealous? this is not good...why now?
she said she believes that i folded the paper myself, but why write about it now? it was a long time ago. and i don't think she remembers very well either. i remember!:
she didn't ask about the toilet paper when she came out of the toilet. nani mo iutta nai. she was just acting strange. not talking much.
Me: what's wrong?
S: nani mo nai.
me: something's wrong. what is it?
S: i don't wanna talk about it.
im always surprised how long it takes her to tell me what she's thinking. does she like being angry? i need to be shitsukoi. its annoying.
anyway about 2 hours after she came out of the toilet, she asked me if any people had been here?
i said no. only u. why?
S: really? don't lie.
Me: seriously. only u. the last time someone was here was my next door neighbor 'Mark' from california. he helped me set up my internet a month ago. remember?
S: no girls's?
Me: no
S: datte sa～トイレペーパーは？
me: toilet paper? huh? (omoi dashita) oh! folding? i did that myself.
S: why now? u never did that before! i don't believe u!
then i started laughing a bit and explained:
ur right, ive never done that before. i think it looks nice but i didnt know how to do it, so i tried. was it right? is there a certain way? fold left or fold right? i saw it on tv the other day too. its used by hotel or shop staff. it means that the toilet ha been cleaned. so if the next time someone comes to clean and they see the paper is still folded, then no one has used it and they dont need to clean it again. lots of girls do it though. its a mistake ne.
con't: that's what u've been angry about these last 2 hours? moouuu. if ur upset about something. tell me. jibun de ira ira wa dame yo. ur cute when ur jealous, but not that cute. r u ok? u believe me?
S: i believe u but im so jealous when ur going out. blah blah blah.
it was fixed, or so i thought. why is she still thinking about that? did she really take a picture that day to write about in her blog? naaa, she must have done it again and took a picture. she's weird sometimes with the blog junbi. secret photos. (but she's angry about my facebook. is that so different? not strangers. my friends and family. she'll see them in few months anyway. whats the big deal about a picture?)
lately she was asking about me going out again, and i was sensing a lack of trust. we talked about it. she said she believes me, but writing about it now maks me think she is hoping her readers will support her jealous theories.
they probably will, and encourage her more. japanese girls can be so crazy sometimes. especially when it comes to jealousy.
but considering all of the soaplands and massage parlors in japan and husbands on shuchos, who could blame them. japanese men r bad. really! im shocked sometimes. im not japanese and foreigners aren't allowedin soapland. too big? foreign guys can be bad too. i know well. lots of teachers like to talk about all their girls. stupid. im not a teacher either
i dont have any other girls and i don't want any. only you sakura. forever. that why i gave a ring. shiteru? i hope so. u said yes ne. i believe u. i love uand ur trust is important to me.
what did i do?
that toilet paper story was months ago. october? november? she's still thinking about it? taking pictures? and writing about it? still jealous? this is not good...why now?
she said she believes that i folded the paper myself, but why write about it now? it was a long time ago. and i don't think she remembers very well either. i remember!:
she didn't ask about the toilet paper when she came out of the toilet. nani mo iutta nai. she was just acting strange. not talking much.
Me: what's wrong?
S: nani mo nai.
me: something's wrong. what is it?
S: i don't wanna talk about it.
im always surprised how long it takes her to tell me what she's thinking. does she like being angry? i need to be shitsukoi. its annoying.
anyway about 2 hours after she came out of the toilet, she asked me if any people had been here?
i said no. only u. why?
S: really? don't lie.
Me: seriously. only u. the last time someone was here was my next door neighbor 'Mark' from california. he helped me set up my internet a month ago. remember?
S: no girls's?
Me: no
S: datte sa～トイレペーパーは？
me: toilet paper? huh? (omoi dashita) oh! folding? i did that myself.
S: why now? u never did that before! i don't believe u!
then i started laughing a bit and explained:
ur right, ive never done that before. i think it looks nice but i didnt know how to do it, so i tried. was it right? is there a certain way? fold left or fold right? i saw it on tv the other day too. its used by hotel or shop staff. it means that the toilet ha been cleaned. so if the next time someone comes to clean and they see the paper is still folded, then no one has used it and they dont need to clean it again. lots of girls do it though. its a mistake ne.
con't: that's what u've been angry about these last 2 hours? moouuu. if ur upset about something. tell me. jibun de ira ira wa dame yo. ur cute when ur jealous, but not that cute. r u ok? u believe me?
S: i believe u but im so jealous when ur going out. blah blah blah.
it was fixed, or so i thought. why is she still thinking about that? did she really take a picture that day to write about in her blog? naaa, she must have done it again and took a picture. she's weird sometimes with the blog junbi. secret photos. (but she's angry about my facebook. is that so different? not strangers. my friends and family. she'll see them in few months anyway. whats the big deal about a picture?)
lately she was asking about me going out again, and i was sensing a lack of trust. we talked about it. she said she believes me, but writing about it now maks me think she is hoping her readers will support her jealous theories.
they probably will, and encourage her more. japanese girls can be so crazy sometimes. especially when it comes to jealousy.
but considering all of the soaplands and massage parlors in japan and husbands on shuchos, who could blame them. japanese men r bad. really! im shocked sometimes. im not japanese and foreigners aren't allowedin soapland. too big? foreign guys can be bad too. i know well. lots of teachers like to talk about all their girls. stupid. im not a teacher either
i dont have any other girls and i don't want any. only you sakura. forever. that why i gave a ring. shiteru? i hope so. u said yes ne. i believe u. i love uand ur trust is important to me.
25 random things about me
1. i wonder how many ppl accepted my friend request that don't know who i am. i have at least 3 unknowns in my list but don't have the heart to tell them.
2. i used to pretend to forget ppls names that i had only met once years earlier, just so i didn't freak them out...
3. now i could watch an entire movie that i had just seen a couple months ago and not even know it.
4. i never thought i would nor wanted to use a scientific calculator ever again, but have since embraced my dorkdom. i currently own 2 and use the trig functions on a daily basis.
5. ppl often ask my last name (or even my mother's maiden name) so they can figure out my ethnicity. i've been mistaken for italian, puerto rican, jewish and brazilian, when in fact i am 100% pure blooded american.
6. a couple years ago,i took a free bone density test so that i could get a carton of milk. the doctor reported that i had the strongest bones he'd seen, and i am immensely proud of this. then he refused to give me the milk.
7. ill probably die from a heart attack. and sakura is the killer, but as long as im with her till then, ill be happy.
8. i have terrible grammar/spelling and i'm gettin' no love from this linux spell checker...not even a suggestion
9. i've been in 5 fist fights: 2 wins (3 if u count his father), 1 loss (choked out cold- which is how i prefer to get my ass kicked by 5 brazilians- didn't feel a thing), 1 undecided (i punched everhart , he punched me in the mouth and broke his hand then the cops came) & 1 draw (when we were 12, my best friend anthony and i went blow for blow for what seemed like an eternity before we decided neither of us was going down, that was the worst lumping i ever took by the way. i guess he did have a little brooklyn in him)
10. on the plane to australia, i asked Will if "friends" would be dubbed over in ozzie accents. i hope that it will always remain to be the stupidest thing to ever fall out of my mouth, though some argue that "dorkpot" has the top spot.
11. one time i hit on an older woman who explained rather rudely that my balls hadn't dropped yet. i had no idea what she was talking about. now i do.
12. i still can't believe that i didn't get hurt when i flipped my integra into a tree and landed on its top. seabelts people- i'd rather be shaken than stirred.
13. if my mom wasn't standing next to me when i won 2 grand at the casino during college, i would have used the money to make a larger profit by less than honorable means. they really r there when u need 'em.
14. i would give 20 bucks for 1 fresh, soft, half-baked, jumbo peanut butter cookie from my old school cafeteria, which used to go for 30 cents. now that i've thought about it, i'd be willing to go even higher.
15. someday, i want to drive to the ice cream stand with my little league team in the back of my pick-up. preferably after trouncing cato.
16. i do not believe that blood is thicker than water, and i will happily introduce anybody that does to my father and then to my mother, both of them.
17. i got in an argument with the manager of a kfc in japan after he refused to give me (or let me pay for) ketchup with my fries, stating "ketchup only comes with nuggets". so after i ordered nuggets and he only permitted me 1 single packet of heinz i threw the food at him and spat on the floor. i also had a similar incident at mc donald's and vowed never to go back to either of them, but we all know that's impossible.
18. i had menengitis once and could have died because i didn't want to pay for the doctors visit (thanks again mom), and i'm very happy that we have a chance at national health care in the near future.
19. i was a little bit surprised last week after my first complete blood test, to learn that i do not have any contractable deseases. seriously. whew!
20. i've burned a few bridges and i regret not keeping in touch with my friends as much as i should, but i'm still pissed that no one has come to visit me in japan.
21. someday, if one of my kids (figuratively speaking) asks me for a dog, i will say that mom is allergic and promptly deliver a kitten. (but i like other peoples dogs).
22. i have about 5 to 1 odds of caving on that last one. ill probably spoil my kids just like everyone else. yes you!
23. i cannot believe how much i dislike teenagers and young adults for doing the same things that i did.
24. most japanese showers have a full length mirror and i flex every time before it steams up. which reminds me...
25. i hate horror movies. after watching "night of the living dead" at darrell's 3rd grade bday party, i didn't close the shower curtain for 3 or maybe 4 years.
2. i used to pretend to forget ppls names that i had only met once years earlier, just so i didn't freak them out...
3. now i could watch an entire movie that i had just seen a couple months ago and not even know it.
4. i never thought i would nor wanted to use a scientific calculator ever again, but have since embraced my dorkdom. i currently own 2 and use the trig functions on a daily basis.
5. ppl often ask my last name (or even my mother's maiden name) so they can figure out my ethnicity. i've been mistaken for italian, puerto rican, jewish and brazilian, when in fact i am 100% pure blooded american.
6. a couple years ago,i took a free bone density test so that i could get a carton of milk. the doctor reported that i had the strongest bones he'd seen, and i am immensely proud of this. then he refused to give me the milk.
7. ill probably die from a heart attack. and sakura is the killer, but as long as im with her till then, ill be happy.
8. i have terrible grammar/spelling and i'm gettin' no love from this linux spell checker...not even a suggestion
9. i've been in 5 fist fights: 2 wins (3 if u count his father), 1 loss (choked out cold- which is how i prefer to get my ass kicked by 5 brazilians- didn't feel a thing), 1 undecided (i punched everhart , he punched me in the mouth and broke his hand then the cops came) & 1 draw (when we were 12, my best friend anthony and i went blow for blow for what seemed like an eternity before we decided neither of us was going down, that was the worst lumping i ever took by the way. i guess he did have a little brooklyn in him)
10. on the plane to australia, i asked Will if "friends" would be dubbed over in ozzie accents. i hope that it will always remain to be the stupidest thing to ever fall out of my mouth, though some argue that "dorkpot" has the top spot.
11. one time i hit on an older woman who explained rather rudely that my balls hadn't dropped yet. i had no idea what she was talking about. now i do.
12. i still can't believe that i didn't get hurt when i flipped my integra into a tree and landed on its top. seabelts people- i'd rather be shaken than stirred.
13. if my mom wasn't standing next to me when i won 2 grand at the casino during college, i would have used the money to make a larger profit by less than honorable means. they really r there when u need 'em.
14. i would give 20 bucks for 1 fresh, soft, half-baked, jumbo peanut butter cookie from my old school cafeteria, which used to go for 30 cents. now that i've thought about it, i'd be willing to go even higher.
15. someday, i want to drive to the ice cream stand with my little league team in the back of my pick-up. preferably after trouncing cato.
16. i do not believe that blood is thicker than water, and i will happily introduce anybody that does to my father and then to my mother, both of them.
17. i got in an argument with the manager of a kfc in japan after he refused to give me (or let me pay for) ketchup with my fries, stating "ketchup only comes with nuggets". so after i ordered nuggets and he only permitted me 1 single packet of heinz i threw the food at him and spat on the floor. i also had a similar incident at mc donald's and vowed never to go back to either of them, but we all know that's impossible.
18. i had menengitis once and could have died because i didn't want to pay for the doctors visit (thanks again mom), and i'm very happy that we have a chance at national health care in the near future.
19. i was a little bit surprised last week after my first complete blood test, to learn that i do not have any contractable deseases. seriously. whew!
20. i've burned a few bridges and i regret not keeping in touch with my friends as much as i should, but i'm still pissed that no one has come to visit me in japan.
21. someday, if one of my kids (figuratively speaking) asks me for a dog, i will say that mom is allergic and promptly deliver a kitten. (but i like other peoples dogs).
22. i have about 5 to 1 odds of caving on that last one. ill probably spoil my kids just like everyone else. yes you!
23. i cannot believe how much i dislike teenagers and young adults for doing the same things that i did.
24. most japanese showers have a full length mirror and i flex every time before it steams up. which reminds me...
25. i hate horror movies. after watching "night of the living dead" at darrell's 3rd grade bday party, i didn't close the shower curtain for 3 or maybe 4 years.
an unstoppable force
philosophy time.
why do things happen? do you believe in destiny? things happen because they are just supposed to happen? reguardless of what you do your destiny will fulfill itself? do you think that there is a greater power that controls your life?
was i destined to come to japan? to meet saukura? was everytime i ever fell in love destiny? was i destined to fall out of love all of those times? this time?
NO!!!!
i'm here bacause i didn't want to be there. i'm here because it was easier to go someplace new and start fresh than it would have been to face the past and fix it. because i didn't have confidence in that future. when i got here i learned quickly that it wasn't going t be easy (maybe harder than anything i ever did in my life), but i decided to stop running. i decided to try harder. i decided to stay until i win and never accept defeat.
everytime i ever lost in love was for the same reason. it was easier to end it and start fresh than to fix it. at least 1 person in the relationship thought that it wasn't worth trying to fix. they didn't have confidence in the future. so they waited for a reason and then they moved on...they accepted losing. it only takes 1 to quit, but it takes two to keep going.
it's a learning process. you learn to love, and you learn how to stay in love. the very first rule to staying in love is to never give up. once that concept is in your head and u know that there is no other choice than to face every problem with perseverence and confidence that you can and will fix it.
sakura and i have had more than our share of problems and i'm sure there will be more in the future, but i made a commitment long before i gave her a ring that i would overcome any problem and face any challenge. i've proven it time and again, and i'm not going to quit now or ever. i hope she knows that. and i hope she knows that i believe she won't give up either.
like i said before, it takes two. every doubt and every worry needs to be met by both partners with the same determination: no matter what the problem is, the answer is together. when you can make that commitment and you know you have the same commitment from your partner then you can never lose. with every victory u grow stronger. that is how we'll make our destiny: accept it.
why do things happen? do you believe in destiny? things happen because they are just supposed to happen? reguardless of what you do your destiny will fulfill itself? do you think that there is a greater power that controls your life?
was i destined to come to japan? to meet saukura? was everytime i ever fell in love destiny? was i destined to fall out of love all of those times? this time?
NO!!!!
i'm here bacause i didn't want to be there. i'm here because it was easier to go someplace new and start fresh than it would have been to face the past and fix it. because i didn't have confidence in that future. when i got here i learned quickly that it wasn't going t be easy (maybe harder than anything i ever did in my life), but i decided to stop running. i decided to try harder. i decided to stay until i win and never accept defeat.
everytime i ever lost in love was for the same reason. it was easier to end it and start fresh than to fix it. at least 1 person in the relationship thought that it wasn't worth trying to fix. they didn't have confidence in the future. so they waited for a reason and then they moved on...they accepted losing. it only takes 1 to quit, but it takes two to keep going.
it's a learning process. you learn to love, and you learn how to stay in love. the very first rule to staying in love is to never give up. once that concept is in your head and u know that there is no other choice than to face every problem with perseverence and confidence that you can and will fix it.
sakura and i have had more than our share of problems and i'm sure there will be more in the future, but i made a commitment long before i gave her a ring that i would overcome any problem and face any challenge. i've proven it time and again, and i'm not going to quit now or ever. i hope she knows that. and i hope she knows that i believe she won't give up either.
like i said before, it takes two. every doubt and every worry needs to be met by both partners with the same determination: no matter what the problem is, the answer is together. when you can make that commitment and you know you have the same commitment from your partner then you can never lose. with every victory u grow stronger. that is how we'll make our destiny: accept it.