I had something very important
to recent myself.
reading this diary might get you confused, and I have to say sorry because this
is just for my self and some of my friends who know what I'm talking about.
basically, just this is a bullshit but this thing is, was, and will be very important
for my self, in my life.
it's only 20 days left to be 21.
where i'm living now, that means to be an adult and hopefully turn into a boy
from a man.
I will not be able to write the whole thing.
I suppose that I don't clearly understand what i'm really feeling is most likely.
I'm sure that I'm feeling very happy and sad at the sametime.
I made a decision today.
I have been preparing myself for this since this summer.
I thought I was okay with the decision but now, i'm not so sure.
This really is a mixed feeling.
I don't know what to write,
I was listenig to a music in a car that day.
It became a memorable, unforgettable, the happiest, the saddest, and the most
important song for me, at least for now.
When I was listening to this song in my room with my CD player, it stopped
playing the music.
sudenly, at the middle of the song,.
The feeling I'm feeling and the thing happend to me were like
the song.
Stopped unpredictablly without reaching its end.
It came suddenly.
I was in the middle of its progress.
An unpredictable thing
happend to me, and the thing just ended.
sorry for not making any points so far,
I just do not know how to describe what i'm feeling.
but for sure, today it has been decided.
the thing that has changed me a lot has become another thing inside myself.
the thing is still the thing.
what has happened is still what has happend.
the person still remainds the same person.
what has changed is my perception, the way of seeing and thinking the thing and the person.
there are some things that i regret, but there are more things that i think are the
right things to do, because i like these changes.
ok, officially I have lost my thoughts.
anyways, something has happend. and many other things have happend in me.
I just wanna... what? I dont know, i just wanna be someone special, maybe.
all the things that have happened have made me the better me. this is for sure.
and, maybe the word i wanna say is "thank you" with a very big smile.
yeah.
***
I'm not going to respond any comments on this massage because i just dont
think I can.
But surely i'll read them, so i thank those who commented to this thing from
very bottom of my heart.
Thank you.
xoxo ,
Justin
